trying to adjust

so im new here and wanted to check this place out ..my name is stephanie im 31...i recently had a bad episode feb. 7th and ended doing 60 days in jail i just got out march 28th. i lost my whole life because of what i did... my girl ..my kids...my place..and my mind...now i am trying to figure out what i need to do .. i know what i should do and what i need to do but at the same time do i really want that ..i have 3 options right now go back to jail..disapear and be numb or straiten up and try to get myself back together...im torn between not wanting to feel anymore and accepting life and just moving foward. i hurt alot of people badly and i feel so lost because of that it kills me everyday.

Hello! Welcome! I hope, of course, you choose to get back on track. All we can do after an episode where we do damage is to start again and try to do better--and repair any problems we caused, if we can. I hope things will go better for you soon.

Stephanie ~ I can tell you what you SHOULD do --- straighten up and FACE what happened and get your life back on track. Believe me, you will feel SO much better by having this behind you and by doing the RIGHT thing instead of "disappearing" and never facing up to it. That will torment you.

If you want to get better mentally, then doing the 'right' thing is the only way to go. Otherwise, this "thing" (whatever it is) will follow you the rest of your life. You will always be looking over your shoulder for a cop. You don't want to live like that honey.

So face up to it and get it OVER with. Get it taken care of. It's NOT the end of the world. Yes, you lost your kids but you CAN get them back my friend!!! If you do the right thing and stay out of trouble, you CAN get them back! They don't like to take kids away from their parents. That's not their favorite thing to do.

I'm going to keep you in my prayers, for SURE. Would you do me a favor though? Would you PLEASE let me know how things turn out? I sure would like to know what happens when you face up to it, etc. Please? God bless you Punksi, and please take good care of yourself! Hugs, Lee

((Punksi2))

It sounds like you've had to face a lot of horrible consequences for your mistake/s. It is very hard to lose everything ~ been there (due to my mental and physical illnesses). I have had to work on myself a lot to get back into life as much as I have.

My daughters are back in my life with love, I've found my own apartment to live in (with a second bedroom for my girls to share), another love interest, and assistance from the county & several doctors. Not an overnight change, no, but the good changes have taken place. For that, I am thankful!

I recommend tenderly apologizing to those that you've hurt, and allowing them time to adjust to the change/s as well. Your life will be a lot more pleasant when you allow yourself to start moving forward. Very best wishes to you!

p.s. Welcome to Psych Central!!