Rage Fits.

I've never been even-tempered, but over time my anger has become harder to control, and little things can spark it off. If I'm having trouble with a video game, for example, I start swearing and punching myself in the thigh (I never used to swear at all). I've even been tempted to throw my 3DS across the room a few times.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling well, and I got snarly at my brother just because he asked me to do something. I stayed that way for a while, and even when he gave up talking to me, I found a "reason" to be angry about that. This is far from the first time that has happened.
People, inanimate objects, and animals can all spark the rage without warning. I rarely lash out at anyone or anything, but I have lashed out. This bothers me, because I don't like hurting people, and I never used to be this way.
It's not consistent either. Sometimes things that would have made me angry hours earlier don't bother me at all, and other times I go from perfectly happy to raging because of one word.
I've found a few methods of calming myself, but I never remember them when I need them. Even while I'm angry, I sometimes know that I'm being irrational, but it doesn't stop me, and most of the time I feel justified in my anger.

Does anyone have any advice? This is leaking into every part of my life, and I'm worried that I'm going to hurt someone, either physically or with words.

Hi ~ I know you're a teenager. Honey, I think since obviously your parents have seen this happen, they know what's going on. They obviously have seen you lose your temper.

Why not ask your Mom if you could go to therapy? It would be the best thing to do. You could get anger management thru therapy. Trying to do this on your own won't work.

So talk to your Mom about therapy, ok? You won't regret it. If she says no, talk to your school counselor. He/she can help I'm sure. Counselors are excellent sources of help as that's what they're there for! God bless and please take care. And let us know what happens, ok? Hugs, Lee

Ok. This is how things stand.
I was homeschooled, and finished last year. So, no councillor. I live in a rural area, with the nearest therapist nearly a hundred miles away, so no chance of that either.

My parents are aware of this. However, while they don't approve of my behavior, they seem to see it as a personal flaw, and not a real problem. My dad considers me rude and disrespectful, and my mom seems to think I should be able to control it.
So there you go.

You Family situation is causing you much frustration. You are blaming your self to much and that is the root of your rage! Do not be overly Judgmental on yourself and cut yourself some slack. You want to throw things you own because you feel you don't deserve them.

Anger is normal, just stand down on the self hate. Know that your parents are not perfect and the negative comments they say about you may have nothing to do with you personaly, but have more to do with your parents anxiety and fears.

Your Family living situation has got you way to frustrated. Do not be so hard on yourself. You throw things you own because you feel you do not deserve them. Your frustration around your living situation has got you on edge, and that is why you lash out at others. Also building self dislike is keeping you angry.

The comments your Parents say about you, have more to do with their fears and anxiety, than with you personally. Anger is normal, just stand down on your self hate. It is not all your fault!

How do you get self hate and the feeling that I don't deserve things out of what I said? Who said that I blame myself for anything?

Because the two things always go together. Hair trigger rage towards others that seems irrational, always come from a deep seated rage towards one self.

Also one uses Anger to avoid other feelings, it is a shield that one hides behind because of fear and anxiety. No one can see into one when they are enraged. It is a process that one can get hooked into as well with out much effort.

Where did you get diagnosed with BPD? That typically stems from abuse/neglect in childhood.

I dont see whether you are male or female and how old you are. If you are a male around age 18, this could be due to hormones and not having a chance to burn off energy. The teen years for alot of males can be very hormonal and they can get urges to
wrestle and burn energy. Thats why a lot of males like sports, and even "contact" sports so they can burn that energy off.

I don't know you well, so I am just guessing here of "could be" reasons so I am "not" critiquing you ok?

OE

I'm an 18 year old female, with a deep-seated loathing of contact sports. I've never been diagnosed with anything, that's just a suspicion.

And I do NOT hate myself.

Ok (((Ultra Darkness)), I didn't know. Why do you think you have BPD? That's a challenging diagnosis as I mentioned usually comes from abuse and neglect in childhood.

I am wondering if you are just really frustrated with being home schooled and not having
a social life because you didn't go to public school. It sounds like you are away from everything too. Do you have plans to go to college or vocational school?

Just saying, I would have stuggled if I didn't have a chance to get out etc at your age.
I wouldn't want to be stuck around my parents all the time either at your age. Hey, female teens want to get out explore and socialize too, its only normal.

Also, do these bouts of sudden anger come at a certain time of month? I had that problem myself and I had to be careful, that is a common problem with women, hey its the hormones, it is what it is.

OE

No one here can diagnose you. A hundred miles really is not that far. My only advice is to do whatever you can to go see a therapist.

If you Google bipolar rage you will see it is quite a recognised thing. I found the Cbt for dummies book, and the Cbt workbook for dummies really useful for this. In addition, I usually can't control my rage when my meds need a tweak .
I also find my rage to be particularly bad when I am struggling with hormone changes which at your age you might be. Do you use a mood tracker which can also track your period? You may find that helpful.

Good luck! Life at eighteen can be hard enough without the added stuff that bipolar brings.

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Have you spent some time researching your symptoms on reputable websites like this one? I assume you have being here to post your question.

I assumed at first you were male because of your anger (a problem of mine), but there's no reason you wouldn't have similar symptoms as a guy with some mood disorder(s). I was shocked by how wrong I was about symptoms of Depression and Anxiety when I was first diagnosed.

Sooner is better than later, I know from experience, to at least get an idea of what's up in your head. Wish I'd known sooner. Good Luck!

They are worse at certain times, but they can happen at any time, really. I have no intention or desire to go to any form of school.

Why do I think I have bpd?
#1: Sudden intense mood swings that can change several times in just a few minutes.
#2: Chronic feelings of emptiness.
#3: Self-destructive behavior and impulses.
#4: Feelings of being unreal, and other minor dissociations.
#5: Fear of being abandoned.

That's the basic idea, but not everything. Any more questions?

If you have no intentions of any form of school, what do you want?

As far as your mood swings and other symptoms, no one here can diagnose you. If you are struggling you need to see a T and perhaps a pdoc that can diagnose you and perhaps suggest a medication to try.

I would recommend that you see a gyno too though and have your hormone levels checked. They can do that with a blood test, if your hormones are off then it can through you off emotionally big time, believe me, I have experienced that first hand.
Also if your thyroid is not right, that can lead to these kinds of symptoms as well.

The rule of thumb is to talk to a GP/Gyno/pdoc. You are 18 and can make that choice, at least if you are in the states.

I don't know what I want, or what that has to do with anything. I am not looking for a diagnosis, and I have no money to see anyone. All I wanted was a few tips to deal with anger. I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on that.

I go to a class for Emotional Intensity Disorder. It's a problem with the regulation of emotion so that it blows open quickly and takes a long time to calm down. Does that sound familiar? I also have trouble applying the skills they teach during an episode. They have us looking at the physical changes that occur before an episode, like muscle tension for instance or headache or the feeling I get of starting to drown in emotion, so I can learn to see it coming and apply the skills before things get out of control. This has lost me a lot of jobs so it's important to your success in life that you find a way to get it under control.

Actually, I calm down pretty quickly most of the time, but the rest of it sounds familiar.