[kay-tee]

i wasn't talking to her for the last two weeks she was alive, then i got to school two weeks ago and found out she was dead. i cried, obviously. but since then, i literally have not reacted to any of it.

i know she's dead, but i feel nothing when i think about it. people usually feel sad talking or in denial or something. but i had shut her out when we stopped talking and i feel like that's why i don't feel any ways?

then i found out another girl i was close with in a psych ward because she tried to kill herself like 6times. and she was talking to my friend the night of. it just kind of upset me that when i went to see said friend, she told me that i mistreated my passed friend and that i never really understood her.

anyway, i just haven't felt any emotion towards what has happened, even the day after my best friend died, i was normal and people thought i was crazy.

is this normal, 'cause i feel it isn't. but at the same time, i don't feel anything so.

[Leed]

Are you in therapy, Kay-tee? You mentioned a Psych ward, so I'm thinking that maybe you are.

If you are, please talk to your therapist about this because when my best friend of MANY MANY years died earlier this year, I was a basket case! I cried for days on end, and it really devastated me. So if she WAS your best friend, no, I don't think this is normal.

I do think you need to talk to your therapist about this. You may be stuffing your emotions -- and you need to find a way to open up, and let the emotions "flow." Stuffing emotions isn't good for you. It makes you sicker.

Let us know what happens, and how you're doing. God bless, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[kay-tee]

Originally Posted by Leed

Are you in therapy, Kay-tee? You mentioned a Psych ward, so I'm thinking that maybe you are.

If you are, please talk to your therapist about this because when my best friend of MANY MANY years died earlier this year, I was a basket case! I cried for days on end, and it really devastated me. So if she WAS your best friend, no, I don't think this is normal.

I do think you need to talk to your therapist about this. You may be stuffing your emotions -- and you need to find a way to open up, and let the emotions "flow." Stuffing emotions isn't good for you. It makes you sicker.

Let us know what happens, and how you're doing. God bless, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Hey, thanks for the reply, i'm not in therapy, another friend is.

[The_little_didgee]

Grief is highly individual. Some people feel it right away and others don't. There is no set time. When it surfaces, it helps to have someone to talk to, because a lot of different emotions can surface.

You are not crazy for appearing "normal" the day after. Some people don't cry at funerals or reveal their feelings much to others. There is nothing wrong with that. We are all different.

I know what it feels like to suddenly lose a good friend, too. He seemed fine, when we last spoke, so it was hard for me to believe the news. Initially, I felt disbelief. Then, I did not feel anything. I did not even cry at his funeral. Around eighteen months later, I realized he was gone and would never come back. This is when my feelings of sadness and guilt surfaced.

Like Leed, I was an emotional mess, because of our last conversation. He asked me out and told me he loved me. I turned him down, since I did not feel the same way. Four days later, he died of a heart attack. Hearing this was proof, I broke his heart. In reality, I did not kill him. He refused to ignore the warning signs and go to the hospital.

Remember, you are not responsible, no matter what anyone says.

Take care.

[NJ_Psychotherapist]

Hello. This sounds like a coping skill for you, although it might not be the most healthy one. Sometimes when emotions are so difficult and devastating to deal with, it is easier to feel numb, nothing or dis-attached from this reality, rather than to feel the pain. We do this often subconsciously without realizing, however it can sometimes lead to pent up aggression/anxiety or depression. You have taken a wonderful step by reaching out for help on here. I would highly recommend therapy (if you are not already in it) and to discuss this with your therapist. Everyone experiences grief in their own way and there is no set time for how long each person overcomes the grief. However therapy can help you process/cope and deal with some of these painful emotions. Good luck with everyone!
-Dan.