Seeking help.

How does one come to not hate who they are?

Not on the outside, but on the inside.

I have come to realize a lot of bad things about myself tonight. With everything negative I uncover, it is like the positive things dwindle and I don't know how to forgive myself for the person that I have been. Nor do I know how to control myself from not being that person anymore.

The guilt and the shame of that I have done without realizing my emotional state is overwhelming.

Well if it makes you feel any better, you are a very intelligent person. Your writing skills are purfect, braja.

Hi, I know it can be hard but try to focus on the positive. Set small goals that you can accomplish. Forgiveness takes time keep telling yourself that your past does not define who you are and allow yourself to feel those difficult emotions as you say I forgive myself for what I have done but that is not going to define who I become. Learn from your past and seek positive messages about yourself. May I ask about your faith beliefs?

I think that by recognizing your faults and wanting to do something about them is a step in the right direction of feeling better about yourself. I think everyone comes to a point in their life where they start recognizing a lot of things about themselves that just may not seem right or "normal". When that time came for me, it was a very dark and overwhelming time. I know what you mean about the positives dwindling. Sometimes they seem like they don't exist altogether... But knowing I'm doing something about it, and working on things makes me feel like I'm slowly but surely climbing the hill and not falling down it.

Thank you for your replies.

To Daisy1998,

I don't believe in many of the faiths that are around these days. I believe that if you put good energy out then you will get good back. I recently gave a lot of good to someone who just barely deserved it. I saw through my rose colored glasses and chose to forgive them of their transgressions. But this lead me straight to heartache. As angry as I am at them, I realize my own transgressions. As important as forgiveness is I do not seek to forgive them, but I seek it for myself. Because while I may have not been the best person, I may not have the best opinions or ideas all the time, I do not believe that "stupid people should be exterminated" or that "unattractive people should not think they are cute."

Now that I have thought about it, I wonder if I am putting the right kind of good energy out or the selfish kind?...