[kizzylana]

I suffer with severe anxiety, panic attacks, depression, ocd and agoraphobia. For the past year. The agoraphobia only started since Jan this year and had to leave my job in Feb.

This.is the first time I've posted so not sure how it works but if anyone replys then I suppose to hear related view etc might help me. I speak to the samaritans a lot but I like to hear from people that are maybe going through what I am.

I get anxious every single day nearly over everything and it makes me feel abnormal. Does anyone else have anxiety of everything and gets anxious of being anxious if that makes sense? Which then in turn turns into a panic attack. I keep developing more and more ocds every day and if I dont do something I think of I believe something bad might happen.

I've become very depressed lately and I don't know how to control my emotions. I have many suicidal thoughts but I panic over the fact I might die. So I'm afraid of dying. Also my uncle committed suicide and I'm scared I'm going down the same route and that the anxiety will leave and all that takes over are the suicidal thoughts. I don't take meds because everything they've prescribed I've refused to take due to anxiety over possible side effects. I've got my first appointment in two weeks with a psychiatrist but I need some support now. I don't know what to do any more and I find how.I feel and act quite embarrassing and believe the psychiatrist can't do anything for me or help me and my feelings.

I've become very angry and irritaited over the slightest thing recently as well and I worry about the health issues I have at the moment and tests I'm due to have

Kez

[kaliope]

Hi Kez
Welcome to Psych Central. I know what it is like to be anxious all the time. I also suffer from agoraphobia. I used to be depressed but medication made that better. I take meds for my anxiety. I know the idea of side effects is scary, but once you find the right meds, it makes your world so much better. I fought the idea of taking meds for years, but I knew I was going to die if I didn't because my depression was so bad so I agreed to try them. Any time I got a side effect I didn't like, I would tell my doctor we had to stop that med and try another and he agreed. you have the power to do that. and there are so many meds out there you are bound to find something that works without side effects. I did. now I just have anxiety and agoraphobia. I don't get panic attacks any more. I realize I am not going to die, my anxiety isn't going to kill me no matter what my mind tells me. with planning I can get out of my home and do things and be ok. you will find a lot of support here on PC. again, welcome.

[kizzylana]

Thankyou very much for.it reply kaliope, yes side effects is scary and is always in the back of my mind with anything I have to take. I'd love to try CBT and see if that is any help to me. Can I just request it do u know?

Kex

[coralcarl]

Originally Posted by kizzylana

I suffer with severe anxiety, panic attacks, depression, ocd and agoraphobia. For the past year. The agoraphobia only started since Jan this year and had to leave my job in Feb.

This.is the first time I've posted so not sure how it works but if anyone replys then I suppose to hear related view etc might help me. I speak to the samaritans a lot but I like to hear from people that are maybe going through what I am.

I get anxious every single day nearly over everything and it makes me feel abnormal. Does anyone else have anxiety of everything and gets anxious of being anxious if that makes sense? Which then in turn turns into a panic attack. I keep developing more and more ocds every day and if I dont do something I think of I believe something bad might happen.

I've become very depressed lately and I don't know how to control my emotions. I have many suicidal thoughts but I panic over the fact I might die. So I'm afraid of dying. Also my uncle committed suicide and I'm scared I'm going down the same route and that the anxiety will leave and all that takes over are the suicidal thoughts. I don't take meds because everything they've prescribed I've refused to take due to anxiety over possible side effects. I've got my first appointment in two weeks with a psychiatrist but I need some support now. I don't know what to do any more and I find how.I feel and act quite embarrassing and believe the psychiatrist can't do anything for me or help me and my feelings.

I've become very angry and irritaited over the slightest thing recently as well and I worry about the health issues I have at the moment and tests I'm due to have

Kez

Anxious of being anxious I've had that exact same feeling. Basically you have a panic attack because your in fear of having a panic attack. It is agoraphobia. It's like it seems like it's never going to end. I've never been suicidal, but I would get a fear of dying.

I went to see a well known psychiatrist in town. He gave me some alprazolam and started me on a very low dose of zoloft. I didn't like the idea of being on pills but thought what the heck, they seemed to help when I was a kid.

Alprazolam is a benzodiazepine, they can be very addictive. You don't normally take this unless your really feeling bad. It takes a bit to kick in but it works great. You feel a lot more worry free but a little tired. If you are suicidal you should probably only take benzos under supervision because they are commonly mixed with alcohol for suicide.

Now SSRIs like zoloft are much safer in my opinion. You start on a very small dose because it really minimizes side effects. Too many doctors it seems like start on too high of a dose. After being on a small dose the side effects greatly lessen. The only side effects it seems like I get is I feel sometimes sort of manic but not sure if it's from the zoloft or if I have a different condition. It seems like I felt great after getting used to it. You literally may need up to a month to get used to it though. You would want to get a good psychiatrist to specifically guide you on when to increase dosage.

Now SSRI's they say do have a suicide risk. I've never been suicidal but I asked my doctor about the suicide warning from the media and such out of curiosity. He said It's pretty much people with depression mainly severe depression, get so deeply depressed they have no motivation, not even to kill themselves. They get on SSRI's and that gives them that little boost of motivation to go through with it.

I can't go off my zoloft without getting anxiety. It also seems to be a little stimulating. It's not quite like amphetamines but a little similar. Much safer too for your body.

Also you should stay away from stimulants if you do any. Even caffeine can cause some people to have bad panic attacks. Especially energy drinks. Pretty much don't do drugs which includes alcohol. Even marijuana can cause bad anxiety and panic attacks in some people.

It seems like a lot of people with suicide problems take lithium. I don't know much about it but know a few people on it. It seems to help mellow them out.

You really should see a psychiatrist though. Especially if you are suicidal. When some one commits suicide, they always hurt a lot more people than they think.

im not a doctor but i've dealt with panic attacks and anxiety all my life among other things. Psychiatrists will also offer other help besides drugs. But I dinf drugs to be of great help with a good doctor that actually knows what he's doing. Hope this helps.

[kizzylana]

Originally Posted by coralcarl

Anxious of being anxious I've had that exact same feeling. Basically you have a panic attack because your in fear of having a panic attack. It is agoraphobia. It's like it seems like it's never going to end. I've never been suicidal, but I would get a fear of dying.

I went to see a well known psychiatrist in town. He gave me some alprazolam and started me on a very low dose of zoloft. I didn't like the idea of being on pills but thought what the heck, they seemed to help when I was a kid.

Alprazolam is a benzodiazepine, they can be very addictive. You don't normally take this unless your really feeling bad. It takes a bit to kick in but it works great. You feel a lot more worry free but a little tired. If you are suicidal you should probably only take benzos under supervision because they are commonly mixed with alcohol for suicide.

Now SSRIs like zoloft are much safer in my opinion. You start on a very small dose because it really minimizes side effects. Too many doctors it seems like start on too high of a dose. After being on a small dose the side effects greatly lessen. The only side effects it seems like I get is I feel sometimes sort of manic but not sure if it's from the zoloft or if I have a different condition. It seems like I felt great after getting used to it. You literally may need up to a month to get used to it though. You would want to get a good psychiatrist to specifically guide you on when to increase dosage.

Now SSRI's they say do have a suicide risk. I've never been suicidal but I asked my doctor about the suicide warning from the media and such out of curiosity. He said It's pretty much people with depression mainly severe depression, get so deeply depressed they have no motivation, not even to kill themselves. They get on SSRI's and that gives them that little boost of motivation to go through with it.

I can't go off my zoloft without getting anxiety. It also seems to be a little stimulating. It's not quite like amphetamines but a little similar. Much safer too for your body.

Also you should stay away from stimulants if you do any. Even caffeine can cause some people to have bad panic attacks. Especially energy drinks. Pretty much don't do drugs which includes alcohol. Even marijuana can cause bad anxiety and panic attacks in some people.

It seems like a lot of people with suicide problems take lithium. I don't know much about it but know a few people on it. It seems to help mellow them out.

You really should see a psychiatrist though. Especially if you are suicidal. When some one commits suicide, they always hurt a lot more people than they think.

im not a doctor but i've dealt with panic attacks and anxiety all my life among other things. Psychiatrists will also offer other help besides drugs. But I dinf drugs to be of great help with a good doctor that actually knows what he's doing. Hope this helps.

Hello Thankyou for your reply.

This has helped me a little. I thought I might be the only one afraid of the medication as much as I am. And that it's unusual to be scared of panicking but u explained it down to a t exactly what itslike.

I was prescribed citalopram for depression and anxiety and diazepam for anxiety leading to a panic attack. I didn't want to take citalopram because I know many on that who had suicidal thoughts in the first two weeks as a side effect so its risky and I didn't want to take it and I knew diazepam is addictive (suppose it doesn't help that I have great knowledge in many meds due to my previous jobs so side effects are always running through my mind) I was then prescribed buspirone in a mild form but my anxiety was so high at that time I refused to take it. Recently I was given paroxetine which is an ssri which scared me as I know about some serious side effects of ssris. So then i refused to have them too. I hate myself for refusing because I know i need something to help me before I get too low even though I dont know how much lower i could get. I think what also scares me is that my uncle was on anti depressants which are now banned. They seemed to make him worse and he committed suicide. I dont want to do that because I know first hand what heart break it can bring to my family. But it's so hard because when he in the moment of suicidal thoughts ur body seems to take over and u know u don't want to truly die but the impulse is so strong and it scares me rotten.

I will be seeing a psychiatrist in a week who is visiting me at home so I really do hope they start to help me. And to help me understand my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you again for your reply it is helpful.

[avlady]

I think you should take a small dose of meds to start with. I am on several meds but they help greatly!!!What is better?-being able to function everyday on meds or being down in the dumps without any hope? I felt after fighting the system from forcing meds on me in the hospital -I am now doing good enough to accept quality over quantity in the way i feel by using meds. I am thankful now i did accept getting on meds and i had to go through some changes in medictions but found the right ones in the effort.

[kizzylana]

Originally Posted by avlady

I think you should take a small dose of meds to start with. I am on several meds but they help greatly!!!What is better?-being able to function everyday on meds or being down in the dumps without any hope? I felt after fighting the system from forcing meds on me in the hospital -I am now doing good enough to accept quality over quantity in the way i feel by using meds. I am thankful now i did accept getting on meds and i had to go through some changes in medictions but found the right ones in the effort.

Thank you very much for that post. I agree with either taking meds or being down in dumps. I will defo speak to my psychiatrist about it.

Kez x