I feel so sad

I don't feel like saying much. I've been experiencing a lot more low mood lately, and when I try to talk to my parents about it, they just tell me that I'm normal and I have to deal with it! I was seeing a therapist until December - around the holidays, and then conflicts got in the way. I never started again even after our schedules were conflict free. I've had lots of people around me (non-family) comment on my moodiness and irritability lately. I hated when nobody noticed how sad I was, but I think I hate it more when everyone is asking me what's wrong. I have also had a few people say that they found my sudden change of emotions scary. I'll go from being very calm to angry very quickly, and it scares some of my friends. I often don't see my inappropriate actions as so. I've been more upset since finding out how other people view the way I act. I am growing very unhappy with myself in all aspects. I have been thinking very lowly of myself as a person in character and appearance. I just want someone to talk to because I've just been feeling so sad. I've been wishing that I had never discontinued with T even when I wasn't feeling as bad at least so I would already have someone to talk to at times like this, where I wake up, and I'm already tired, and I basically cry for 6 hours straight because so much is going through my mind, and I'm so sad and I'm just hating myself so much for a ton more reasons than I can even start to talk about. And my parents just say "we understand" "most people just deal with it" "oh hahaha, you get your temper from me. Just control yourself" "Oh we're all depressed! haha" And I feel so helpless. I can't stop crying. I hardly even know why anymore, I just know I'm so sad. I'm going to college in one month, and I'm really nervous about how I'll do emotionally there. I hardly have the motivation to do my summer work. I can't go a week without having some sort of angry outburst with someone. Hurting myself is always in the back of my mind, and nobody I know understands me. I just want so badly to feel normal. I want to do everything like a normal person, and function normally, and seem normal to my friends. And when I tell my parents I don't feel stable, they just assure me that I really am, and this just feels so hard for me. Maybe I just expect to be superhuman and I guess everything really is how it's supposed to be.

im sorry things are so rough for you right now. can you ask your parents to make another appt with t for you? let them know what you wrote here about crying all the time and the moodiness and the concern of others? if that wont work, most college campuses offer free counseling as part of their services so you can get help when you start school. just check with student services when you start. they can guide you where you need to go.

It sounds like you don't have the necessary support around you and I am sorry to hear that. Not only are you going through emotional turmoil, but you are not getting adequate or helpful support at home or with friends. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. Sometimes, the initial process of getting help can be the hardest. Have you ever asked your parents to sit down because you want to talk about something that means a lot to you? Initially, I was not taken seriously about depression/suicidality and unfortunately I did not get the help I needed. But, through the whole experience, I learned that I did not know how to ask for the help either. I have found that passing comments, or acting out, or whatever did not help. But when I sat my parents down and explained that something very serious was going on, and that I was asking for their help and support even if they don't understand what is going on. Explain how you feel and explain that when they just tell you you are fine or normal (or whatever they say), when they say those things you feel...(hopeless, alone, depressed, insecure, scared, etc). These are just a few thoughts, take or leave them. I will be thinking of you. Keep reaching out on PC and wherever else you can, help is out there somewhere. Keep asking for help, and just because others might be in denial, keep being real with yourself and take yourself seriously. All the best and many hugs.

It is good that you have the strength to post here. I am sorry that you aren’t getting the support you deserve. In your post you didn’t express why you are sad? Just that you are going to college. I respect that you may not want to share. I hope that you can find a place where you can talk your feelings out in a safe caring environment. Were you able to make progress in your previous sessions with your T? have you sorted out if your sadness is chemical or environmental? I hope to encourage you to keep seeking support!

I don't feel sad about anything in particular. I have a lot to be happy about. I'm pleased with my body, I'm going to my first choice college, I have several friends... But I just get so sad. Like today, nothing could make me feel better. I can't bring myself to answer text messages, and I couldn't finish my lunch. I can't hold a conversation without becoming overwhelmed so I've just been laying in bed and crying

So so tough, I am sorry. Has anything happened in the last couple days out of the ordinary? Even if it seems benign, little things can trigger a depressive episode.