I hate feeling like this

Ok, so I usually don't login when I'm like this. I don't like showing or sharing my negative feelings. I never have. Part of it may be that I haven't had healthy role models for how to express anger while growing up.
I am feeling very cranky and angry right now- like an irrational anger- I feel like I have no reason to be angry at this person in my life but I am. I guess cuz we used to be sorta close and in the last year I feel like were drifting apart and that she's basically pushing me away. So I guess I'm really just feeling hurt.

I'm also grumpy because I have to go back to work tomorrow . .. I feel so stuck there but I put on a smile- there are people that make me feel good about myself and take pride in my work . . . but job hunting is so redundant sometimes, I feel like I made some poor decision and now am stuck. Like a typecasted actor- I don't know how to deal with these feelings. 7 months sober from marijuana . . In the past I would just light up a bowl, I can't do that anymore. I suppose its a good thing. I still just escape my feelings instead of dealing with them- like watching funny videos and stand up comedy online-or listening to loud angsty rock music. so I thought I'd try out logging in here and maybe getting some feedback or something.

Sorry you are feeling grumpy. I have days like that, when everyone just needs to leave me alone.

Congratulations on doing without marijuana for 7 months! I don't think there is anything wrong with distracting yourself with comedy or music.

I understand your not wanting to go back to work. I feel stuck in my job, too. I, too, paste on the smile and do what I have to do, but I sure don't enjoy myself.

I hope your grumpiness goes away soon.

Thinking of you .....