Do you even think it's just us?

I mean are we just unhappy because we're selfish and because we're just not willing to accept life for what it is? I feel like I just whine about the fact that life is not the way I want it to be, I feel like a spoiled cry baby.

Feel out of control? Do you really know what you want life to be?

I don't feel out of control and no I don't know what I want my life to be exactly but that is a good question. What I mean by this is that I often get very emotional about little problems even though if I look at the big picture I'm doing very well.

I've got a decent job, I've got a good group of friends, a good family, I'm fairly wealthy in comparison to most of the world, I live in a nice apartment, I have more life opportunities than most people do. And yet, with all that to be thankful for, I get very angry and sad about things like being anxious around people, or that I don't get enough time to spend alone, or that I have a hard time expressing myself. I mean every once in a while something major might come up like a loss of someone important but for the most part I'm pretty well off. And so it makes me feel selfish and overly emotional. It's like nothing is ever enough to make me feel satisfied. I don't even deserve the stuff I have. And mostly I just take everything for granted.

Personally? Yup, I'm fighting an internal war and losing badly. Selfish? Not really, but yeah, I don't accept life at face value.

I mean, shouldn't I be able to feel good about fixing the door? Shouldn't I feel good about not building something that would have hurt someone? Shouldn't I feel good about standing up for someone at work?

Then how come I'm made not too? How come the wife wants to get someone else to fix the door? How come I get fired for not putting in the crossover system? How come I get disciplined for standing up for someone?

Right now, I'm feeling very angry towards the world. I've had numerous struggles due to my OCD, and nobody even considered that. They all thought I was "annoying" or "weird" or things like that, and a lot of my friends left me.

I usually put on a very polite, "people-friendly" facade because I realize that that's all I have in the world. I'm not too smart, I am not athletically gifted, and I struggle with relationships.

I don't think we're unhappy because we're selfish. I think we're unhappy because we have the right to be unhappy, and angry, and cynical, and bitter and all that.

Thank you for your reply - I have dealt with a lot of the same kinds of things as you have described, especially about losing friendships and about putting on a facade. I too believe that we have the right to feel whatever we feel but what I mean by posting this is that there is so much of life that I take for granted. I don't want to speak for you as well but I just don't know why I can't be satisfied just with the fact that I'm alive. There are plenty of things to be thankful for regardless of the negative things and the fact that I am not satisfied leaves me feeling selfish. There are so many people who have much less than I do and they need help yet all I think about on a regular basis is my own needs and wants which are often ridiculously luxurious. There is no lasting value in luxury but I still treasure it. I don't like that luxury is more important to me than the good of humanity. I don't like that I put myself first all the time. When I think about the people who really need help and what they struggle with it makes my problems just seem narcissistic. But I can't help it.

Do spend more time alone. It will help. Please take care of your self first.