[ClemFan]

I tried to attempt suicide on the 6th of this mth. I have been home for a week now and I am still having trouble dealing with what I tried to do. Every now and then it hits me and I have a meltdown. Tonight was really bad. I'm still detoxing off of pain meds and hurting. I was in the bed with my wife watching TV and a movie came on about some who killed themselves. The parent left was having to tell their children what happened. I really broke down and lost it. The thought of my wife having to tell my kids that daddy is gone was more than I could take. My wife held me till it passed. I hate feeling like this!
Clemfan

[pamj533]

Originally Posted by ClemFan

I tried to attempt suicide on the 6th of this mth. I have been home for a week now and I am still having trouble dealing with what I tried to do. Every now and then it hits me and I have a meltdown. Tonight was really bad. I'm still detoxing off of pain meds and hurting. I was in the bed with my wife watching TV and a movie came on about some who killed themselves. The parent left was having to tell their children what happened. I really broke down and lost it. The thought of my wife having to tell my kids that daddy is gone was more than I could take. My wife held me till it passed. I hate feeling like this!
Clemfan

i am so sorry about how you are feeling.i do wish that i could tell you that the feelings of guilt will pass.they may never go away to be truthful.i have tried several attempts.was not my time.and hasnt happened since 1996.doesnt mean i dont think of it.and detoxing off off pain meds now! along with this? i really dont know what to say..except.you seem to have the good sense to think of what ur family would go through.sometimes i just need that in my head.so badly.so i will be okay.i dont have to tell u that u are dealing with alot now.you know this.they say"oneday at at time".sometimes.it is "one moment at a time"if u need to talk.alot of people on here that have been so kind to me.if u need my help.please do not hesitate.pam

[smmath]

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I have attempted in the past, and I still think about it from time to time. Do you have a therapist? Is your wife supportive?

Let me know if you ever want to talk.

[ClemFan]

Yes I had to make an appointment with a therapist before they would release me from the mental hospital. My wife is very supportive. She is the one that saved me. I took 100 15mg tabs of Morphine in my locked bathroom. When she needed me for something and knocked, got no answer she kicked the door down. She seen me passed out and the empty bottle she knew what I had done. I woke up to her standing over me with a bottle of hydrogen Peroxided jammed in my mouth making me drink. Well for anyone that does not know it will make everything come back up. Most of the pills where still whole. She was very mad at me for the first few days, but after that she really rallied by my side. I'm very lucky and thankful to have her.

[pamj533]

Originally Posted by ClemFan

Yes I had to make an appointment with a therapist before they would release me from the mental hospital. My wife is very supportive. She is the one that saved me. I took 100 15mg tabs of Morphine in my locked bathroom. When she needed me for something and knocked, got no answer she kicked the door down. She seen me passed out and the empty bottle she knew what I had done. I woke up to her standing over me with a bottle of hydrogen Peroxided jammed in my mouth making me drink. Well for anyone that does not know it will make everything come back up. Most of the pills where still whole. She was very mad at me for the first few days, but after that she really rallied by my side. I'm very lucky and thankful to have her.

your wife loves you so much.If you dont mind me saying this..God Bless her.You are soo very lucky that she kicked that door down.oh my goodness.. Morphine(as you know already) decreases ur respirations.You are so very lucky.i know that you know this.just wanted you to give thanks to your sweet wife.Of course she was "mad" at you.For awhile.She loves you.and she was so afraid!Bless your family. I hope you are doing better now.Hugs to you.Hugs to her..your wife!!

[pinkbutterfly]

the guilt is really difficult.
i still feel guilty. i overdosed when my husband was overseas...and collapsed in the ER waiting room with my kids right there. I only went there because I knew my kids needed to be somewhere safe. They got put in foster care...I will forever feel guilty about that.

I'm thankful that your wife found you. You are obviously important to your wife and children...they need you.

sending hugs to you and your family...and be patient with yourself...it's a difficult adjustment to coming out of the hospital.