i don't know what to do. he is beautiful but I only see him in a professional manner and not very often. he is a gp (doctor) and I am volunteering as I want to study physical therapy a uni. I am 30. he is 38. I was briefly his patient, but im not anymore. he told me six months ago that he's single, but of course that doesn't guarantee that he still is. for ***** sake I just want him so bad it hurts. every time I see him I feel sick and dizzy. I want to tell him how I feel. I want to ask him out. I know he likes me as a person. whenever I see him he says hello and smiles widely even if I am just passing his door. on the rare occasions I see him he always tries to make me laugh. he stands in a superman pose like he wants to appear more manly. he is great but I don't know if he would like me in a sexual manner. I just wudnt want him to be disgusted or think what a stupid idea if I ask him out. I don't know what to do and I am so confused. i want him, i want to give him everything but i don't want him to be horrified or think im a idiot for asking him. what does one do?

[punkybrewster6k]

Next time you see him, casually mention that if you both ever get a break at the same time you should go get coffee together. See what he says to that. His response will tell you a lot about how he feels about you.
Just a suggestion.....

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[shabur]

My suggestion would be to try to dial back your feelings (I know, easier said than done) Pick a day and when you see him in his office ask if he would like to get some coffee. If he says yes, you don't want to scare him off, keep the conversation light. You can learn a lot about him during this conversation. If it goes well, wait a few days and ask him again, maybe telling him how much you enjoyed the last time.
I have found that when relationships start out as friendships they are more successful. You have a better idea of what you're getting into.
I hope this helps.

[Hyas]

No matter what, always say what's on your mind in every situation and aspect of life. Never let a thought, concern, question or feeling stay floating and spinning around in your head for long periods of time, this is the worse thing you can do to your self. You need to attend to your heart, if your heart says, say something and talk to him, ask him to have a coffee, maybe go for a short walk around the block, or grab a bite to eat, what ever your feelings and emotions are expressing to you, do not ignore this inner guidance provided by your intuition, heart and emotions. Do not just leave all of your thoughts, questions and concerns with relationships and life its self all cluttered and packed into your head, weather it be pertaining to work, family, friends or a future lover, you need to pay close attention and listen to your gut feelings/intuition, emotion and heart at all times of the day, and attend to what your heart is expressing. If you think your going crazy in your head right now, well, if you dont act on these urges and feelings while they are fresh or accept what can't be and move on, you may very well find your self actually suffering from a serious case of depression, without even knowing why and how this is possible. Your head and heart will not stop twisting, spinning, aching, throbbing, and reacting to the neglect you have expressed to your mind, body and soul, until you have personally taken the time to address all the thoughts concerns and questions you are keeping locked inside your very nervous mind, all because of what? Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of non acceptance... By acting on your feelings, by expressing in conversation(word-to-mouth) your intentions emotions and dreams, and allowing your self to put the fear of experiencing the feelings and emotions of fear and rejection itself, you will shortly find your self proving to your self that not only was the act of expressing your deep inner emotions out loud to the subject of concern quite easy to accomplish, you will also feel oh sooo much more relaxed and content with finally getting these urges and thoughts off your chest. As a bonus, you will also find that you have as well, increased your self confidence, and added more personality and characteristics to your personal arsenal, as you have accomplished staying true to your self by listening and following your heart and facing your most current fears.

9-10 times, you don't need advice from anyone other then your heart. Stay true to your emotions and you will stay true to who you truly are inside!

Hope this advice helps you with your current dilemma and future situations to come your way.

Originally Posted by Hyas

No matter what, always say what's on your mind in every situation and aspect of life. Never let a thought, concern, question or feeling stay floating and spinning around in your head for long periods of time, this is the worse thing you can do to your self. You need to attend to your heart, if your heart says, say something and talk to him, ask him to have a coffee, maybe go for a short walk around the block, or grab a bite to eat, what ever your feelings and emotions are expressing to you, do not ignore this inner guidance provided by your intuition, heart and emotions. Do not just leave all of your thoughts, questions and concerns with relationships and life its self all cluttered and packed into your head, weather it be pertaining to work, family, friends or a future lover, you need to pay close attention and listen to your gut feelings/intuition, emotion and heart at all times of the day, and attend to what your heart is expressing. If you think your going crazy in your head right now, well, if you dont act on these urges and feelings while they are fresh or accept what can't be and move on, you may very well find your self actually suffering from a serious case of depression, without even knowing why and how this is possible. Your head and heart will not stop twisting, spinning, aching, throbbing, and reacting to the neglect you have expressed to your mind, body and soul, until you have personally taken the time to address all the thoughts concerns and questions you are keeping locked inside your very nervous mind, all because of what? Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of non acceptance... By acting on your feelings, by expressing in conversation(word-to-mouth) your intentions emotions and dreams, and allowing your self to put the fear of experiencing the feelings and emotions of fear and rejection itself, you will shortly find your self proving to your self that not only was the act of expressing your deep inner emotions out loud to the subject of concern quite easy to accomplish, you will also feel oh sooo much more relaxed and content with finally getting these urges and thoughts off your chest. As a bonus, you will also find that you have as well, increased your self confidence, and added more personality and characteristics to your personal arsenal, as you have accomplished staying true to your self by listening and following your heart and facing your most current fears.

9-10 times, you don't need advice from anyone other then your heart. Stay true to your emotions and you will stay true to who you truly are inside!

Hope this advice helps you with your current dilemma and future situations to come your way.

I respectfully disagree with this advice. We can't go around voicing our every feeling.

Learning to edit yourself is a sign of emotional maturity.

[kawaiigurl1981]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

I respectfully disagree with this advice. We can't go around voicing our every feeling.

Learning to edit yourself is a sign of emotional maturity.

Thank you so much for saying this ! I inwardly cringed as I read that advice.

[kawaiigurl1981]

Cally it sounds like you are in the grips of an intense infatuation which is fine, that is how we realize we are attracted to someone. You must keep in mind that this is totally an inner experience, you think you may love this person but in reality you do not know him. People that have issues with anxiety and depression often come the conclusion that every thing good in the world can be found outside themselves and I feel that this sets up for these intense crushes in which we idealize another person. I agree with the others that have suggested that you ask him out for coffee but please keep in mind that you cannot reveal the extent of your feelings without likely scaring him off. The reason for this is that right now your feelings have very little to do with him because you don't know him well enough yet. I hope it works out for you and I wish you all the best.

[Hyas]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

I respectfully disagree with this advice. We can't go around voicing our every feeling.

Learning to edit yourself is a sign of emotional maturity.

I respect your decision in disagreeing with me, but please allow me to ask you why? Why can't you go around voicing your every feeling and emotion when a person, thought, or situation triggers it to rise? Think out side of the box objectively while searching for the answer to my next question... If you were to voice your every emotion and feeling when triggered to expose itself instead of suppressing it for another day, what do you think would be the out come of this approach, when applying it to our relationships and interactions we are involved with, weather personal or professional on a day to day basis? What do you think the result would be? Would it have a positive or negative effect on the individual voicing and addressing their emotions and feelings? What do you think the effect of speaking what's on your mind and getting off your chest, all your emotions, concerns, questions and thoughts, would have, on the individuals mind state itself.
If you were to voice your opinion in a disagreement when normally you would stay quite and keep your feelings bottled up inside, if you were to always express how you truly feel verses not saying anything at all and allowing your thoughts to consume and cloud you, how do you think this would effect your emotions and thought process in the long run? Would it effect you in a positive or negative manor. If you were to receive the answers to all of your questions, concerns, emotions and feelings, immediately, as they were to come to mind, do you think this would have a positive or negative effect to your mind, heart body and soul?
Either way there is an effect with every action in life, every action has a reaction, and every reaction has a trigger, the trigger is the lack of attention we show our hearts
I am just respectfully curious as to why you believe this advice is not practical is not the main key and answer to avoiding anxiety, depression, misunderstanding situations, mental illness, inhumane expressions of action and many more serious problems and issues we as individuals and an entire race are struggling to deal with and understand on a day to day basis.
There is a very good reason as to why Freud was quite passionate about his demands for humanity to always condone conversations. When expressing how important it truly is to the health and existence of man kind, to ALWAYS Talk about every little concern feeling emotion, experience, tragedy and so on. To talk discus and address all issues at all times. Why? I'm hoping you can answer this for me, as you respectfully disagree with the insight and actual truth to why this information and advice I have provided, is truly the missing key to understanding and addressing, how to avoid depression from formulating in the future, why and where it truly originates from, and what are the true steps that should be taken in order to completely avoid and be rid of the potential for unhappy, lost, aggressive, confused, upset, mislead, and mis understood, hopeless individuals from continuing to fall victim to this indescribable deadly disease, which floods our streets with intense negativity on a steady consistent basis.
Please explain why you feel attending to the heart, is not the key to understanding and uncovering the true route issue to all cases of depression and mental illness.
Lack of attention given towards your heart, emotions and feelings, is honestly the true cause of mental illness and depression since the beginning of time.
Freud's reason to promote conversation at all times, was to ultimately avoid this deadly disease from continuing into the future, and to expose to humanity our true purpose in life.

Would really like to read your explanation and thoughts.

Well, the OP is not looking to cure any mental illness she may have through Freudian psychoanalysis.
If she was, then perhaps your answer would prove useful.

She is merely seeking advice on a social situation. Yours, in my opinion, would not serve her well at all.

[Hyas]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

Well, the OP is not looking to cure any mental illness she may have through Freudian psychoanalysis.
If she was, then perhaps your answer would prove useful.

She is merely seeking advice on a social situation. Yours, in my opinion, would not serve her well at all.

I understand that you may believe the OP is not looking to cure any mental illness she may have developed due to rejecting/lack of knowledge pertaining to Freudian psychoanalysis, and that she is merely seeking advice on a social situation. Which is exactly why I gave the type of advice which induces self confidence, inspiration and the knowledge to understand how and why the advice needed is to always stay true to your emotional needs, questions and concerns, how to truly stay on the right path towards your true purpose in life, and avoid creating any unwanted mental illness along the way.
I gave and introduced the Freudian psychoanalysis to the OP due to the fact that it has everything to do with all social situations, in fact his insight if applied by all individuals would prove to improve drastically the quality in all aspects of social, emotional, physical and spiritual relationships and situations in everyday dilemmas in life on earth. In my message of advice I merely provided the OP the true reasons and explanations as to why I gave the advice to follow and listen to your heart and emotions at all times. Some may believe the appropriate advice and the advice the OP needed to hear was; TELLING her Exactly WHAT to say, do and how to act when approaching the situation at hand. However, we are all wired, act, react and think, analyse and process everything completely differently then any other individual on earth, non of us are the same. However we do all run and thrive off of emotion, so the approach to most situations one would take, may be quite different then the others approach due to the oppositions perception of the situation at hand, so telling someone what to say and how to handle the situation can very well prove to be ineffective in the grand scheme of things and actually cause tragic results. The OP's original question of concern being asked and addressed in order to confirm her decision of plausible action, is as follows; do I follow my heart, my emotions, my gut feelings and intuition and address my inner feelings towards a man I am interested in, but feel may not be socially acceptable due to the underlining issues of a past professional relationship and interaction we had prior to our situation now, or do I just move on, ignore and sweep underneath the rug, what my heart and emotions are truly feeling? To sum up this question the OP was merely asking; do I listen to my heart and emotions or do I ignore them. The answer/advice we all gave her was the exact same in the end, which was YES, act on your EMOTIONS and approach the subject in question. However, most had decided telling the OP EXACTLY what to say or do was the correct advice, others felt advising her to dial back and ignore the feelings so you don't scare him off is much better, I merely gave her an explanation as to WHY yes act on your emotions at all times, is the predominate answer to her question dealing with her social dilemma, and what will inevitably happen if she were to ignore the questions, concerns, emotions and feelings verses addressing them always at all times.
The point and advice I was giving but some how was misunderstood along the way was this:
when we have the knowledge, wisdom and confidence in ourselves to trust ourselves, our heart, emotions and decisions, we will always be making the right decisions for OUR SELVES, as we all know our heart will never lie to us as long as we are listening and following our emotions, concerns, feelings and heart in order to accomplish staying true to our inner spirits needs and wants and not living life through some body else. The truthful advice the OP needed to hear was yes follow your heart. And that is what I was promoting, followed by the legitimate reason as to why we should always listen and follow our hearts at all times, as well is informing her what would happen if she did not attend and follow her heart.
I gave her the true advice she needed in order to succeed in ever aspect of life and not just this social situation, the only advice she truly needs, is to trust her self confidence by explaining and reminding her that one can not go wrong in life as long as you listen and trust your heart and NO ONE else. For your heart will always stay true to you and will always guide you directly where you need to be in life. If you don't follow, listen and attend to what your emotions and feelings are telling you, and decide to listen to what other people tell you to say, and want you to do and act a certain way, if you listen to everyone else, accept your inner self your emotions, heart, spirit and soul, your heart and head will find it self suffering from depression as the days go by, plain and simple.

The more you relax, relate, release and speak, the more you will connect with your true inner peace.
Believe in your self, build the confidence to listen trust and know what your heart needs to succeed in every aspect of life weather it be social, physical, emotional, spiritual personal or literal, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR HEART!
Awareness and Guidance is what we need, not always what we want! Teach don't tell, guide don't push!