Very sensitive feelings from the past came up, can't stop thinking about them

Things that were terrible that happened a couple of years ago, I keep thinking about them all the sudden.

I can't stop thinking about them, and I'm getting suicidal because of that. I don't know what to do because I have no friends (I push friends aside all the time) to sway my mind away from the negatives and my family does their own thing.

I'm so sad about what happened before (I don't want to talk about it as it is very personal), yet I still don't know what to do to alleviate it or stop thinking about it!

See a Therapist, this is what I, and others will tell you. Depression is rubber banding you back to the incedent.

But if you don't have a therapist already it takes a month+ to get started. So, if you're feeling suicidal, I think you should call someone at a clinic, your own doctor, or a telephone hotline. I don't know the size of your town, but mid or large cities have many resources. If you decided to go to the emergency room, that would tie you up maybe a week, in case you have pets or kids. Not trying to scare you, but just to help you get some plans without waiting too long.

It is so hard to get rid of stuff. I try writing. I look up different feelings on the Internet. I try to occupy my thoughts with other things like TV , painting, reading, gardening, getting out to a store, listening to music, and if possible call someone just to talk about other things. Sometimes I need a third party though to speak about the hard things.