Why do I allow myself to be happy?

......whatever you're doing...it isn't helping.

I want ideas..suggestions...moral support........not stupid metaphors and sayings....

God...how difficult is it to do that?

It's not your face Chic it's your attitude If you have a defeated attitude you will always feel defeated even if you aren't. Change your attitude and change your out come. Positive attitude brings positive results.

......easier said than done...how does one stop feeling utterly lonely when they are, indeed, alone? How can I change...my "attitude"?

You can be ugly on the outside but if you have a caring loving heart and you help others and bring joy to their lives they might give you a chance. But if your ugly on the inside it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside because sooner or later your ugliness will show through.

Uh.......how can I change my attitude? Simple question....

I have asked that same question many times Chic. If you find people that are they way you wish to be then be around those people more they tend to rub off on you. Positive enviornments premote positive attitude

Simply put monkey see monkey do. If you see someone that models they way you want to be you will hang around them and learn to do that behavior and your attitude will change along with it.

I good example off modeled behavior is smoking or drinking we see others do it so we want to be cool so we do it same concept just opposite result because that is a negative behavior not a positive one.

So, the question your looking for is to find someone you envy relationship wise because if you like how their relationship is and you hang around them and learn how they act toward each other you are more likely to learn that for when you are in a relationship with someone you will be more likely to find someone also, because you will see a good relationship can happen.

.......whenever I see someone in a relationship I get insanely jealous and it hurts deep down inside.....I can't be near people like that. I can't bare the ache.

there is such a thing called being happy for others, whether you have those things or not. being immediately jealous of things you can't/don't have will be constantly eating at you rather than trying to attain them, i promise it isn't getting ya anywhere and won't get you far in life. . .

I must say that I think plenty of attitude is rather becoming in a young person. You sound terrific. All that life and energy must be surely be rewarded by meeting like minded blokes. You look just fine in your picture too.

You can be alone and not lonely. You can learn to enjoy your own company and be okay with you. It's okay to need other people in your life, but you can't depend on them for your happiness. Relationships are doomed to fail at this point if you don't work on yourself and you could set yourself up for more emotional pain.

People are a little scared of how aggressive you're being I think. I think you're being aggressive because you've resigned yourself to your unhappiness even though you don't want to be unhappy and you're frustrated because you think nothing will fix you. That's just what I see, but I could be wrong.

Hi. I just though I would tell you what I try to do when I get like that. I try to use the coping skills I have in my mental health tool box that I made on line. I made kind of a notebook with tools and skills to help me when I have anxiety or am stressed or sad. It sometimes helps, not always. What really helps though is making out a gratitude list. This help put things in perspective a little bit more. I hope this helps. Good luck.

you deserve to be happy sweetheart. you are worth this.

To change your attitude: try to think of things you like about yourself. Make a list, and every day add something. You need to have confidence and start liking yourself before any one else will. Your posts in this thread are dripping with self-loathing. You call yourself so many names. Stop being so mean to yourself and treat yourself better. Treat yourself like your worth something and others will see you the same way.

Hope that helps some and hope you can find some comfort, if not happiness.

Okay, I read through this thread, and I can't believe the things I said in here. Was that really me talking? No. It wasn't. It was the depression demons swaying my mind and spitting out such self loathing nonsense.

Thanks to Vital and all he did for me, I have found a way to crawl out of the deep dark hole I was in, and to thrust myself into the light. I wrote a poem about my experience too. It's in the Poetry section, just FYI.

Now your probably wondering what I did to practically become reborn as my true self? I snapped. Literally. I snapped my fingers as a proud member of the SNAP CLUB. See Vital's thread about he understood and overcame his depression with the simple and oh so easy gesture of snapping his fingers whenever he made a conscious decision to do something. It really works, like magic almost.

Anyways, as I'm discovering my true self, and the happiness that seems to come bubbling from within my heart, I must say, it's kind of strange at first. It's like living in a cave all your life, in the dark, and suddenly, one day, deciding to step out into the outside world, and into the light (Okay, I admittedly just got done watching the movie "The Croods" and drew that analogy from there, but it works).

Before I started SNAP CLUB, I always thought that platitude about happiness coming from within oneself a little, annoying, and sure, I may have lashed out a bit at those offering a lending hand, so yeah. I apologize to those who I hurt, but most importantly, I want to say this. Thanks everyone who offered me help, I now know that you were only trying to bring me out of my depressive funk, and weren't just being cliche and cheesy sounding on purpose.

Okay, I'm going to end this post before I start rambling on about cheese and how I can't eat it. Don't get me started on that. It could take a while before I stop. Just remember to be happy and maybe one day you can snap just like I did (and I mean via your fingers, not mentally snap. That would be bad.

Okay, bye bye now.

Fun movie, glad you are feeling better. Though something seems to be feeling amiss.

Little Sister!

What a wonderful, inspirational post. I am so happy for you, and I really know where you're coming from too. It's such a huge relief to be able to completely break free and to know that you can be free whenever you want to be. I still get a little giddy at times when something happens that I know would upset me for days and I realize how easily I can escape.

You may feel a lot of physical benefits too. I feel like I have way more energy before, as if being depressed was a constant draining effort that I finally don't have to do anymore. Just sitting quietly, it feels as if my body is recharging and gathering energy and vitality all by itself. Even my senses and thinking seem sharper.

You'll probably find that you forget to do it after a while. I still forget now and then. Just let any bad feelings or thoughts that you have remind you that suffering is optional for you now.

- vital

Artchic's poem: http://forums.psychcentral.com/creat...3742-hope.html

I'm glad you're feeling better, Artchic. It's great when we find a coping mechanism that works for us. Keep at it.

Seesaw

What's feeling amiss. That I can't stop smiling now?

Thanks Big Brother!! I am glad you found my post inspiring. Also, thanks for sharing the poem I wrote about how I feel about waking up from being depressed. Yes, it was like waking up.