[Mefisto]

So, 2014 was the worst year of my life. I thought maybe i could cheer myself up by going to the party with few of my friends. I built my hopes up and imagined that i would have fun at the party and probably meet someone new. Now i found out that i am the only one who was'nt invited. The host of the party is the guy who met me one time at the bar, i thought we got along and he said that "it was nice to meet me", but apparently he labeled me as some kind of loser. One of my closest friends asked him if i can come and he said that i can't. My friend said that he tried to persuade him, but it didn't work. At the same time, other 2 friends of mine will go there. They will have fun without me while i will wallow in self-pity and self-loating all evening and all night. I have no one else, i tried to call two more people, but with no positive result. I lost all my other friends, i lost my girlfriend, i have no one. I really wish that i would finished the job, while i tried to kill myself few months ago. It is not the life that i want to have.
I wonder if it is possible to save my mood for tonight? I wont feel any joy for sure, but at least how can i stop thinking about suicide and crying?

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry you weren't invited. That was really bad that he wouldn't change his mind, but it is his loss. Maybe you could find a place they are having a big celebration at a restuarant or bar and go by yourself. You might meet someone new and it would be good to get out.

I stay home and just go to bed as usual. I don't find it's something I need to celebrate. Maybe you could rent your favorite movie, pop some popcorn and celebrate with yourself, after all you are what matters. I enjoy quiet times alone. Try not to focus on being left out.

[wolfgaze]

Mefisto if I was having a party you would be invited!

I know you are feeling down given the circumstances but try not to place too much importance on this particular night. New Years gatherings are a completely forgettable cultural tradition. Usually just lots of drinking and then short-lived anticipation for all of 10 minutes and then it's over... Not much different than any other weekend night really when you consider what goes on... No one goes out for New Years and then reminisces about it afterwards.... It's really insignificant and forgettable...

Find a nostalgic movie that you like, or something that makes you laugh, and spend some time watching that.... Start a new book, read someting that challenges you to question the way you think about things. Do you have any family or relatives you can reach out to or spend time with?

[Mefisto]

Yeah, i will try to find interesting movie, numb my feelings with music and surround myself with family. Its just sad that i found myself in such deep social gap, where i have almost no one to turn to. I want to thank you guys for supporting me during this miserable year. Wish you well in 2015, so all of your depressions will fade into bliss of living. I don't believe that year can be happy, but lets find out if it can. Happy new year!

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by Mefisto

Yeah, i will try to find interesting movie, numb my feelings with music and surround myself with family. Its just sad that i found myself in such deep social gap, where i have almost no one to turn to. I want to thank you guys for supporting me during this miserable year. Wish you well in 2015, so all of your depressions will fade into bliss of living. I don't believe that year can be happy, but lets find out if it can. Happy new year!

Good mindset and thank you.

[Open Eyes]

((Mefisto)),

I am sorry you are feeling so low and rejected. However, I have to tell you that often rejection is not because one is not good enough or unworthy either. Often it is because one might pose a threat or the person who is excluding you may even be jealous of you.
I have actually experienced what you are discribing and found out much later it was not because of anything I had thought.

Don't let the bad behaviors of others lead you to negative self talk ok? It is not a crime to stay home and hang out alone on NYE. It is really just another night anyway, and if you want to know, I am hanging out by myself while my husband is out working. I plan on getting some chores done as soon as I finish this post and then seeing what movie I can watch on TV. I would rather not be out there driving when there are going to be so many drunks on the road either.

Give life some time ok, try to get involved with some classes where you can learn some things and develop some hobbies, that is where the really interesting people are anyway.

((Happy New Year Hugs)))
OE