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  #1  
Old Feb 13, 2015, 07:15 PM
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Steiner of Thule Steiner of Thule is offline
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I start to feel reminded of how things really are. There are no good people.

Everyone lies.

Though it starts to get a bit irritating when I realize HOW much they do. They act certain ways but only so they can gain. Selfish motives. Rejection from those I thought were friends but they found they don't really like me.

How cruel.

Though over the years I've grown my armor and try not to let them in. They would say I am better but am I really better or just growing my steel and trying to survive in a world that doesn't want me around.

People always having motives and I can start to sense the deceit right from the beginning.

A lonely world.

They all form groups and then you know how humans are they get comfortable and stick to their groups. They get comfortable insulting those they don't know or those they got to know and rejected. Boosting themselves. It's always about themselves. Even when they give charity.

Everyone likes to act warm-hearted and wise but they aren't. Am I? No. I know nothing- to always double check my thinking is how one gets into a state of the abyss. It's wise to never think of one as "the wisest or the greatest." Everyone does it though. Everyone is arrogant at times.

It gets lonely being me. Alone mentally, I feel always rejected. They reject my mind. I'm not very smart or anything but I am treated like a plague. They don't like my views on most things. I get the shallow treatment usually and always. They say I have my walls up but then they reject me. I am glad I kept the walls up so that they couldn't pierce my heart but then would they have tried to stab me there if I had let me walls down.

Usually yes. They always want to get close. Though they wouldn't have connected with you even if you had let their trojan horse in.
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  #2  
Old Feb 13, 2015, 10:42 PM
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Sorry to hear you are feeling there are no good people. When I have believed that there was nothing but desolation.

Now I think there are many good people especially those that are suffering so. I really feel for their situation. Now my world is filled with good people.

The problem was never the world. The problem was I needed a new pair of glasses.
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  #3  
Old Feb 14, 2015, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by CANDC View Post
Sorry to hear you are feeling there are no good people. When I have believed that there was nothing but desolation.

Now I think there are many good people especially those that are suffering so. I really feel for their situation. Now my world is filled with good people.

The problem was never the world. The problem was I needed a new pair of glasses.
I have perfect vision and don't wear glasses but I tend to wish I could wear glasses because I think they look good.
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  #4  
Old Feb 14, 2015, 03:19 PM
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Hi there! I'm sorry you feel so hopeless in relation to people. Perhaps, you haven't still been lucky with the people you rushed into.
I can ensure you that there are people who are very worthy.

There was a time when I was a misanthropic person. The problem was me not people. I can't barely accept myself. How were I going to be able to accept others?
I never engaged with others so they couldn't connect with me either.

That is that you call deceit is not other thing as social baseline. It's not that I'm a fan of it but I understand that it's necessary to make fluent and peaceful social interations and why not, as a starting point to deeper interations.

In my opinión, "our glasses" have to do a lot with the way we see reality.
The best is to have glasses with allow us to see the good part of people (bc it exists) and accept the bad part as something we can also have and learn from it.

I'm sure, I don't have so bad experiences as you, so I don't want to be here the smartest, and tell you how beautiful is everything.
I only liked you were able to see the other part, bc is better for you.

A hug! Good luck!
Thanks for this!
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  #5  
Old Feb 15, 2015, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
Hi there! I'm sorry you feel so hopeless in relation to people. Perhaps, you haven't still been lucky with the people you rushed into.
I can ensure you that there are people who are very worthy.

There was a time when I was a misanthropic person. The problem was me not people. I can't barely accept myself. How were I going to be able to accept others?
I never engaged with others so they couldn't connect with me either.

That is that you call deceit is not other thing as social baseline. It's not that I'm a fan of it but I understand that it's necessary to make fluent and peaceful social interations and why not, as a starting point to deeper interations.

In my opinión, "our glasses" have to do a lot with the way we see reality.
The best is to have glasses with allow us to see the good part of people (bc it exists) and accept the bad part as something we can also have and learn from it.

I'm sure, I don't have so bad experiences as you, so I don't want to be here the smartest, and tell you how beautiful is everything.
I only liked you were able to see the other part, bc is better for you.

A hug! Good luck!
Some would say trying to view things as always good would be called rose-tinted glasses. Then some wear glasses with just the frames to make themselves look like they are wearing glasses but in fact they aren't at all. They want to have the look of someone that wears glasses though but they are just being deceitful about it. I could see how one has to be positive at first to gain entry to further communications. Though for me I find the further communications to end poorly. Or more like I prefer to keep them at a distance. Not comfortable with it because it all feels wrong and off. A relationship built upon falseness because we would rather try to keep being dishonest rather than true with ourselves.

Though like I said it's hard to really get into anything with people when they are all incredible liars and quick to change who they are to be accepted.

I hate them.
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  #6  
Old Feb 15, 2015, 01:39 PM
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
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There is no good and no bad, nor black and white, just greys, you have to make the best of it, otherwise you will surely go mad. I am sure you know this, but it can be hard to take when you are down.

I wonder if you might not expect too much of people and when they don't live up to expectations it feels bad, like rejection, and you take it to heart more than is perhaps quite reasonable?
Thanks for this!
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  #7  
Old Feb 15, 2015, 02:25 PM
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What Man says makes sense. Perhaps, your expectations of people are very high.
Think that they are not much moré different than you.
I'm also having troubles with people now that I'm moré open up them. So, I think you hate fakes, falseness. i also hate it.
There are also people who are truthly. These are the ones who are worthy.

What can I tell you? I don't want you to put on a rose-coloured glasses. Take with the possitive of each person. There will be some you will share a couple of laughs with, there will be others you will have as good colegues and you will share about work tópics with, there will be other who give you an intelectual encouragement, there will be other who give you affection and became true friends. Some of them will be with you only for a few minutes, other will spend the life with you.

Don't know if I am giving you some helpfull input. Sorry if not.
  #8  
Old Feb 15, 2015, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow View Post
There is no good and no bad, nor black and white, just greys, you have to make the best of it, otherwise you will surely go mad. I am sure you know this, but it can be hard to take when you are down.

I wonder if you might not expect too much of people and when they don't live up to expectations it feels bad, like rejection, and you take it to heart more than is perhaps quite reasonable?
I do know this. My brain thinks otherwise. I probably do expect too much out of others. It's sort of an OCD thing I think. I expect too much out of myself as well which is probably a root cause of my anxieties.
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  #9  
Old Feb 15, 2015, 10:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I start to feel reminded of how things really are. There are no good people.

Everyone lies.

Though it starts to get a bit irritating when I realize HOW much they do. They act certain ways but only so they can gain. Selfish motives. Rejection from those I thought were friends but they found they don't really like me.

How cruel.

Though over the years I've grown my armor and try not to let them in. They would say I am better but am I really better or just growing my steel and trying to survive in a world that doesn't want me around.

People always having motives and I can start to sense the deceit right from the beginning.

A lonely world.

They all form groups and then you know how humans are they get comfortable and stick to their groups. They get comfortable insulting those they don't know or those they got to know and rejected. Boosting themselves. It's always about themselves. Even when they give charity.

Everyone likes to act warm-hearted and wise but they aren't. Am I? No. I know nothing- to always double check my thinking is how one gets into a state of the abyss. It's wise to never think of one as "the wisest or the greatest." Everyone does it though. Everyone is arrogant at times.

It gets lonely being me. Alone mentally, I feel always rejected. They reject my mind. I'm not very smart or anything but I am treated like a plague. They don't like my views on most things. I get the shallow treatment usually and always. They say I have my walls up but then they reject me. I am glad I kept the walls up so that they couldn't pierce my heart but then would they have tried to stab me there if I had let me walls down.

Usually yes. They always want to get close. Though they wouldn't have connected with you even if you had let their trojan horse in.

Try not to make blanket statements.

It's not fair.
  #10  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 09:28 AM
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Steiner of Thule Steiner of Thule is offline
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Originally Posted by sophiesmom View Post
Try not to make blanket statements.

It's not fair.
Seems fair to me. What does being fair have to do with it though. If people were about being fair the world would be a a better place probably.

It's just a consistent power grab.

It's always lies and trying to get people to feel a certain way but then people are so easy to switch stances. A lot of hypocrisy to suit their needs.

If offered people would step on their friends to rise up in the ranks. A basic instinct I suppose.
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  #11  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 09:38 AM
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I do know this. My brain thinks otherwise. I probably do expect too much out of others. It's sort of an OCD thing I think. I expect too much out of myself as well which is probably a root cause of my anxieties.
Maybe I'm wrong but it sounds to me as Perfectionism.
I also suffer of this. Strong traits the doctor said.
I began by accepting my own boundaries and that there wasn't a way for me to be perfect. Of course, you also have to take into account your qualities. A person is full with both. Learning to be less severe and strictic with yourself, you will be able to appreciate the good in people and having compassion for their faults.

In my case, it was on the contrary. I used to be less severe with others than with myself.

What I'm gonna tell you now is only an idea, ok.
Have you ever considered the posibility that what you see in people that annoy you so badly could be a réflex of the things you don't like in yourself and you don't want to see them?
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  #12  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 01:36 PM
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Seems fair to me. What does being fair have to do with it though. If people were about being fair the world would be a a better place probably.

It's just a consistent power grab.

It's always lies and trying to get people to feel a certain way but then people are so easy to switch stances. A lot of hypocrisy to suit their needs.

If offered people would step on their friends to rise up in the ranks. A basic instinct I suppose.

It's sad that you feel like this. But we're not all bastards. And as much as you need to vent, I need to disagree with you.
  #13  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I have perfect vision and don't wear glasses but I tend to wish I could wear glasses because I think they look good.

I think that person meant it metaphorically that there are good people out there she (or he) just didn't see it perhaps didn't try etc not that she needed actual glasses ( imho)

There are many good people out there

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  #14  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I do know this. My brain thinks otherwise. I probably do expect too much out of others. It's sort of an OCD thing I think. I expect too much out of myself as well which is probably a root cause of my anxieties.

don't mean to offend but I am not sure you expect much out of yourself feeling so down...you might not expect enough ...

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  #15  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 02:59 PM
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
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Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I do know this. My brain thinks otherwise. I probably do expect too much out of others. It's sort of an OCD thing I think. I expect too much out of myself as well which is probably a root cause of my anxieties.
You sound as if you know yourself quite well which is a good start.
  #16  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 05:51 PM
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I think that person meant it metaphorically that there are good people out there she (or he) just didn't see it perhaps didn't try etc not that she needed actual glasses ( imho)

There are many good people out there

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I was doing a comparison as well using the same metaphor. Though also literally because I do have 20/20 vision and would like to wear glasses because they look stylish.
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  #17  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 05:53 PM
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Maybe I'm wrong but it sounds to me as Perfectionism.
I also suffer of this. Strong traits the doctor said.
I began by accepting my own boundaries and that there wasn't a way for me to be perfect. Of course, you also have to take into account your qualities. A person is full with both. Learning to be less severe and strictic with yourself, you will be able to appreciate the good in people and having compassion for their faults.

In my case, it was on the contrary. I used to be less severe with others than with myself.

What I'm gonna tell you now is only an idea, ok.
Have you ever considered the posibility that what you see in people that annoy you so badly could be a réflex of the things you don't like in yourself and you don't want to see them?
Yes, with meds it helped me realize the reason I get anxious is because of impossible perfection. I get annoyed with people who change masks so easily and then I end up feeling betrayed because I get a false idea of who they are.
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  #18  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 05:56 PM
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don't mean to offend but I am not sure you expect much out of yourself feeling so down...you might not expect enough ...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I tend to feel down because of where I am and what i want. I think a lot of people can get like that so I am not unique in that case.
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  #19  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 06:03 PM
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You sound as if you know yourself quite well which is a good start.
I don't think I can ever truly know myself. Thinking to myself that I would do "this" in this situation but in the moment I would actually do "this." People are tricky. Including myself. They think they know but then they don't.
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Old Feb 16, 2015, 06:08 PM
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It's sad that you feel like this. But we're not all bastards. And as much as you need to vent, I need to disagree with you.
Mmhm. ah-
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  #21  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 06:32 PM
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AzulOscuro AzulOscuro is offline
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Yes, with meds it helped me realize the reason I get anxious is because of impossible perfection. I get annoyed with people who change masks so easily and then I end up feeling betrayed because I get a false idea of who they are.
Welcome to the club. I also hate this.
Human interactions are very complex and there is always a double participation, the others' and yours.
I don't think people, as a rule, are false or have bad intentions. There are two factors to consider. Our own role, the other person circumstances.
In my opinión, we are a bit manipulative in relation to other people. We need their approval so we show them our best face. This is not falseness. It's social baseline and our own pride. But out of this, there are only few people who really aren't worthy. The ones who have to take advantage of us.
See my signature.
Perhaps, these few people even don't do it conciously, they need boost their self-steem. But, be on guard with them.
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  #22  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 06:42 PM
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I don't think I can ever truly know myself. Thinking to myself that I would do "this" in this situation but in the moment I would actually do "this." People are tricky. Including myself. They think they know but then they don't.
Because we are made to cope with our surrounding, to defend us, to protect ourselves. We act according to our circumstances.
We are made to give the best of ourselves but we have our background, our past experiences, our own issues.

If I go away from you, perhaps it's not bc you don't like me, on the contrary perháps is bc I'm an avoidant and I don't feel that I decerve your company. Sad but it's true.
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  #23  
Old Feb 16, 2015, 07:57 PM
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Steiner of Thule Steiner of Thule is offline
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
Because we are made to cope with our surrounding, to defend us, to protect ourselves. We act according to our circumstances.
We are made to give the best of ourselves but we have our background, our past experiences, our own issues.

If I go away from you, perhaps it's not bc you don't like me, on the contrary perháps is bc I'm an avoidant and I don't feel that I decerve your company. Sad but it's true.
I've avoided others like this in my past. Also because I have a fear of feeling.
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  #24  
Old Feb 17, 2015, 02:17 AM
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AzulOscuro AzulOscuro is offline
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Are you doing some kind of therapy? I don't know but it's possible that talking with a professional about it can be helpfull for you to have a moré balance view of yourself and the outside world.
I tell you bc I followed therapy. I had a very strictic way to see everything. I was extreme in my patterns of thinking. I also had a very low self-steem since I was a child. I never could reach the idea I have in my mind about myself and others. I'm not gonna tell you that I'm normal. Who wants to be normal anyway? This is too boring. But, I feel better than ever with myself and with people.

The only thing I regret is that I didn't ask for help before for several reasons. The road would be shorter.
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Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
  #25  
Old Feb 17, 2015, 03:00 AM
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Agarwaen Agarwaen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule View Post
I start to feel reminded of how things really are. There are no good people.

Everyone lies.

Though it starts to get a bit irritating when I realize HOW much they do. They act certain ways but only so they can gain. Selfish motives. Rejection from those I thought were friends but they found they don't really like me.

How cruel.

Though over the years I've grown my armor and try not to let them in. They would say I am better but am I really better or just growing my steel and trying to survive in a world that doesn't want me around.

People always having motives and I can start to sense the deceit right from the beginning.

A lonely world.

They all form groups and then you know how humans are they get comfortable and stick to their groups. They get comfortable insulting those they don't know or those they got to know and rejected. Boosting themselves. It's always about themselves. Even when they give charity.

Everyone likes to act warm-hearted and wise but they aren't. Am I? No. I know nothing- to always double check my thinking is how one gets into a state of the abyss. It's wise to never think of one as "the wisest or the greatest." Everyone does it though. Everyone is arrogant at times.

It gets lonely being me. Alone mentally, I feel always rejected. They reject my mind. I'm not very smart or anything but I am treated like a plague. They don't like my views on most things. I get the shallow treatment usually and always. They say I have my walls up but then they reject me. I am glad I kept the walls up so that they couldn't pierce my heart but then would they have tried to stab me there if I had let me walls down.

Usually yes. They always want to get close. Though they wouldn't have connected with you even if you had let their trojan horse in.
As a person that has felt some of the things you have, I empathize. The concept of people having rejected your mind made me think. At first I wanted to say no, nobody knows my mind. But the perception thereof is good enough, yes?

I have never kept my walls up, and I have been repeatedly disappointed. That doesn't mean I haven't had precious relationships along the way. It just means to me that it always ends. Whether that be from some external force or not, i.e., acts of God, etc., it always ends.

I have debated social interactions and the deceit within. These rituals are simply filled with deceit, to avoid unpleasant truths. But are they necessary for a civil society? That is my question.
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