[basty_407]

Ever since my teen-age years, i've always known i've got a weird, awkward personality. I was never, ever comfortable being gay. So I was so happy to have met someone whom I was able to share my life with. 8 years we were together. But we recently broke up, and I feel like I'm so alone and unlovable. I'm too ugly to find someone to love me again. And i don't have any friends because i don't know how to sustain a friendship. Being alone is too much. I constantly think of killing myself, but the catholic in me prevents me from pushing through with it. But I can't help but keep hating God for making me the way I am.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi basty

I am sorry to hear about your break up.

8 years is a long time together.

Feeling sad is a very natural and obvious process you are going through right now.

Part of this sadness is making you question and doubt things about yourself that are not true - you are saying to yourself you are "unlovable" - when this is not true.

You have negative thoughts running through your mind like "I'm too ugly to find someone to love me again" etc.

This is hurt speaking.

And you have some intrusive thoughts going on there.

Hang in there.

You're hurting because you're alone.

I know that you are better than this.

It's hard to change your thinking because you are getting over the break up.

But you can begin to change your thinking.

[Astreia]

Originally Posted by basty_407

Ever since my teen-age years, i've always known i've got a weird, awkward personality. I was never, ever comfortable being gay. So I was so happy to have met someone whom I was able to share my life with. 8 years we were together. But we recently broke up, and I feel like I'm so alone and unlovable. I'm too ugly to find someone to love me again. And i don't have any friends because i don't know how to sustain a friendship. Being alone is too much. I constantly think of killing myself, but the catholic in me prevents me from pushing through with it. But I can't help but keep hating God for making me the way I am.

Thank God for the catholic in you!!! I have felt suicidal nearly all my 63 years, and I still think about death a lot. But I have made many troublesome attempts, and I don't try it anymore...i just can't die until it is time. I think neither can you. And you can't possibly be as ugly as you say you are...it's a symptom, not a part of you.

[RisuNeko]

I'm just getting over a relationship that was about 2 years long and that was the longest relationship I've ever been in. (I'm just not very social, and I don't like committing.) I can relate to how you're feeling. During that relationship I gained about 100 lbs due to the bipolar meds I got started on and now I feel like I will never date again because I'm too fat and ugly. But I have to remind myself that that isn't true. If it happened once it can happen again. I just have to get through the depression that comes with a breakup (I was fairly depressed well before the breakup too but that's that's just the bipolar) and work on myself so I can get back to a place where I love myself enough to be loved again.

I found that when I was at my lowest weight from a successful diet and was putting on makeup every day and doing my hair and actually cared about myself and wasn't depressed I had good self esteem and it suddenly became easier than ever to date. Opportunities just appeared out of nowhere. You can get there too, and so can I. We have to believe. You don't have to be "model beautiful" to find love. And as for the "awkward personality" thing, I have a totally awkward personality too. It's all about self esteem.