[jaofao]

I'm feeling like... I have not tried my best, I'm not getting better in several aspects, I don't know how much effort is enough. Would even my best not be enough? I feel hopeless, and I think I'm always going to feel inferior, weak, afraid, jealous, needy, "not enough"... because I am always worse than many other people.

[pegasus]

Sounds like you are trying too hard. It is about accepting yourself as you are and about learning to cope with what you have. Be gentle with you.

[AzulOscuro]

Hi!
There are always steps backwards in a recovering path. I'm sure you are trying the best you can in each moment. Perhaps, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow you will be ready to work even harder.
As pegasus points out, the key is acceptance and then, affection for what you are and what you can get. Your potential. Noone knows how much potential there is in yourself.

A sane self-steem is not something that can be achieved easily bc your starting point is a damage self-steem that is full of bad experiences, bad patterns, false beliefs about yourself.

A mistake is comparing with others. Do they have the same conditions around them? Do they have the same personalities, the same difficulties? Do they all have a damage self-steem?

I wish you see things in a different way tomorrow and that when you get up, you look at yourself in the mirrow and say: I'm a marvellous person who is going to do my best today for me and for my loved people.

[Keyslost]

I had this problem (prob still have it). There may be an underlying issue. Mine was parents and friends being overcritical of me. Made me hypersensitive. Now I block out all their negativity (as best I can). Now that I'm working every time I get criticized I try not to take it personally and if I tried my best that's enough. This takes time and practice though. Try clearing your mind next time you hear those voices. Don't let them bring you down and see if you feel better. Then just keep trying that. If you need to talk more about it come here or you can msg me I have some experience with this. Also you're not worse than others. Those others just need to bring you down so they don't have to build up. They prob have the same feeling down issue but choose the easy way out.

[jaofao]

Thank you all for your kind words (and the hugs)!

Sorry to hear about your situation, Keyslost. It sucks to be surrounded by critical people. Don't be bothered by criticisms though, because I think you're a great person.

Thank you pegasus for reminding me to be gentle with myself, or to love myself. It's important to do that, for if we failed to love ourselves, we couldn't expect others to do so.

AzulOscuro, thank you. Talk about acceptance, it's quite difficult for me to accept myself as a "nobody". I wish to be something more purposeful, more meaningful. I wish I had the courage to overcome challenges. I worked out, I read books, I got advice from friends and family about my issues and followed it. Things just didn't seem to change, except I was getting old. 24 hours a day pass by in a flash. I'm on the verge of giving up, might just grow old and die.

[AzulOscuro]

Biological age doesn't mind. I'm 43 and still didn't learn to love me enough.
I'm now going very slowly but there were times when I got many job done. It's like that. We haven't got always the same strenght.

Are you reciving some kind of help, I mean a professional, a counsellor, a friend...?

Let me go back to your first post where you said that you had the sensation that you didn't were doing your best.
Which aspects do you think that you are not working very hard? What is stopping you?
It's not a question for you to write here. I don't want to push you. It's only to think in case it can help you.

I also have to work in some issues, I will begin a new therapy on May, 5th. There is always a hope.

[Keyslost]

Thx Jao really helps to hear that!

[Row Jimmy]

I used to compare myself to other people but found it sort of pointless. It creeps up on me when I act irrationally and self destruct. I try to focus on me and try to become a better me. It's a challenge - I go through my hopeless and paranoid stages less frequently now than I did just a few months ago. Like Pegasus said, be gentle on yourself.

[jaofao]

Jimmy, thanks for your input, and congrats on getting better. It just isn't as easy as it sounds to me, I mean controlling my own mind. How do you focus on yourself?

[Keyslost]

So when someone says something negative (esp negative criticism with no value) just tell em to f off in your head. Realize that it's them. If they have anything useful to say they can give positive criticism. Or even better reinforce when you do well instead of only when something goes wrong. It takes some time and it's easy to fall back on old habits but try to remember all the good things you do and why you're awesome

[KristenRenee]

Originally Posted by jaofao

I'm feeling like... I have not tried my best, I'm not getting better in several aspects, I don't know how much effort is enough. Would even my best not be enough? I feel hopeless, and I think I'm always going to feel inferior, weak, afraid, jealous, needy, "not enough"... because I am always worse than many other people.

Hi there. I just read your post and I can feel you. I too feel the same way at times. I find that the more I tell myself how bad I'm doing, I do even worse. We have to play positive tapes in our heads if we are to survive. I know I'm not one to talk, but if we keep feeding into the negative about ourselves we will keep getting what we are getting. I hope this helps. I sure hope you feel better soon. Take care.

[Confused5397]

Originally Posted by jaofao

I'm feeling like... I have not tried my best, I'm not getting better in several aspects, I don't know how much effort is enough. Would even my best not be enough? I feel hopeless, and I think I'm always going to feel inferior, weak, afraid, jealous, needy, "not enough"... because I am always worse than many other people.

I feel like I'm not getting better either. And when I think Ive tried and tried and tried, someone whose "healthy" tells me I am not trying hard enough. I know what you're going through, and you're not alone.