[bipolar angel]

I really know I can't complain, compared to many others..I have a job, health insurance, roof over my heaf, food, and little bit to spend on extras...and I tell God/universe all the time how thankful I am...because I know it could be worse. Then on my depressed days-I am jealous if siblings, coworkers, friends, even strangers who seem to have it all, seem happy and don't seem to struggle. If course my rational side knows I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors but my negative voice says...why can't my lufe be a little more together..why out of my whole family-am I the bipolar one, the one with weight issues, less pretty, etc
I get out mt journal and do the pos/neg columns to show how good I do have it...but do any of you ever wondet why you/we have these issues...then I again say, ok universe, its not cancer or aids so I should be grateful I am functional
Anyone else ever get this way....

[Artchic528]

Rest assured you are not alone. I have jealousy issues too. My brother and his girlfriend spend a lot of time at our house, which not only fuels the green eyed monster in me, but it gets me wondering why our house and not hers and then I step back and think, there could be a really good reason. I am not going to try and find out the reason, because I want to respect their privacy, but I some how find comfort in knowing that there is one.

Anyways, journaling helps me a lot. I don't even bother with the lists of pros and cons. I just write from the heart.

Originally Posted by bipolar angel

I really know I can't complain, compared to many others..I have a job, health insurance, roof over my heaf, food, and little bit to spend on extras...and I tell God/universe all the time how thankful I am...because I know it could be worse. Then on my depressed days-I am jealous if siblings, coworkers, friends, even strangers who seem to have it all, seem happy and don't seem to struggle. If course my rational side knows I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors but my negative voice says...why can't my lufe be a little more together..why out of my whole family-am I the bipolar one, the one with weight issues, less pretty, etc
I get out mt journal and do the pos/neg columns to show how good I do have it...but do any of you ever wondet why you/we have these issues...then I again say, ok universe, its not cancer or aids so I should be grateful I am functional
Anyone else ever get this way....

If you are just questioning and wondering why and you are hanging on there then what you are doing is legitimate. The problem is if you let your wondering drag you down and then you loose it all.

[lostfornow82]

Yes I know what you are going through. I have a college education but since college I have experienced some severe mental health problems. Like you, I get annoyed and jealous of other people.

You did not mention this but I get very pissed off when I feel slighted or viewed as inferior, especially when a person who I view as a "bad person" has it all.

I have a job, insurance, etc. like yourself but I am not functional. Even though I try, I have lost almost every job I have had and get *****ed at by my supervisor in form of getting cussed out.

I can't meet women as I am pathetic loser in my 30s. I go to the supermarket and I swear that I mind my own business but still get *****ed at or some sort of conflict ensues.

Working, maintaining relationships with friends/family, and having a romantic relationship/a family are things that I cannot obtain at this time and these are things that my asshole supervisors/colleagues who cheat, lie, make up results which are not plausible, etc. can always do. Basically, I struggle with the fundamentals of life.

I fail at everything I do despite trying. I do not aim that high however I need to start over again. I have made progress in certain aspects of life but not enough as I continue to struggle.

I am trying this strategy of eliminating negative influences such as toxic people, environments, habits, etc. I hope this works.

I feel we (me and you) both need to knock one of these people who have at all down in a metaphorical sense and assert ourselves. What do you think?

Originally Posted by bipolar angel

I really know I can't complain, compared to many others..I have a job, health insurance, roof over my heaf, food, and little bit to spend on extras...and I tell God/universe all the time how thankful I am...because I know it could be worse. Then on my depressed days-I am jealous if siblings, coworkers, friends, even strangers who seem to have it all, seem happy and don't seem to struggle. If course my rational side knows I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors but my negative voice says...why can't my lufe be a little more together..why out of my whole family-am I the bipolar one, the one with weight issues, less pretty, etc
I get out mt journal and do the pos/neg columns to show how good I do have it...but do any of you ever wondet why you/we have these issues...then I again say, ok universe, its not cancer or aids so I should be grateful I am functional
Anyone else ever get this way....

[bipolar angel]

While there are definitely some people I want to knock down metaphysically-not all. Several of the people I'm jealous of-are great people, good friends/caring about me-and really haven't done anything wrong...I just get the jealous bug and want what they have/feel I'm missing...but the others-I just want to yell at God/universe and say why do I have these issues-I'm a good per son, kind to others/animals, etc but mrs x is nasty to all-why does she have charmed life?? I don't truly wish bad things on others, more wonder why I have my challenges in life???...then I do my columns list and realize I am grateful for many things...but can't stop jealousy from popping out sometimes..