How does someone who is strong constantly break the barriers to get help? I have always sucked it up and kept going forward no matter what. Now I am in a solitary place and it echoes with silence. I have always pushed everything to the back of my mind going forward. Now thoughts are barraging me and I am in a timeless place with memories that I had once processed but are resurfacing. I did what others told me to do, I got over it, but not really. I just compartimentalized the emotions to where I feel they are sabotaging me. How does one deal with numbness of years of being strong now facing their vulnerabilities that are glaring? I never ask for help for that is a sign of weakness according to my upbringing, and one never discusses family outside the house. So I am trying to process the thoughts with the attachments to put it back in the mind again, to not resurface in order to function. I find myself pushing people away and isolating. I want my sanctuary to not have to deal with people because they are so disappointing to me. I find they mean well but they drain me emotionally and I am becoming cold.

[*Laurie*]

I believe that reaching out for help is a show of strength.

[gayleggg]

I think you need someone to help you get through this. Have you considered therapy? It's not weakness to seek help. It strength to know when you need to reach out.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by omegalamed

How does someone who is strong constantly break the barriers to get help? I have always sucked it up and kept going forward no matter what. Now I am in a solitary place and it echoes with silence. I have always pushed everything to the back of my mind going forward. Now thoughts are barraging me and I am in a timeless place with memories that I had once processed but are resurfacing. I did what others told me to do, I got over it, but not really. I just compartimentalized the emotions to where I feel they are sabotaging me. How does one deal with numbness of years of being strong now facing their vulnerabilities that are glaring? I never ask for help for that is a sign of weakness according to my upbringing, and one never discusses family outside the house. So I am trying to process the thoughts with the attachments to put it back in the mind again, to not resurface in order to function. I find myself pushing people away and isolating. I want my sanctuary to not have to deal with people because they are so disappointing to me. I find they mean well but they drain me emotionally and I am becoming cold.

It's ok to ask for help, and coming here is a sign that you are indeed reaching out. Ok, not the most effective solution but look you are already sharing your issues somewhere, somewhere safe. Thanks for sharing!

I think you should reach out for a therapist now, but that is only one mans opinion. There's a lot of stuff hitting you right now, and it's the perfect time to get help and the relief that might be a breath of fresh air.

As far as isolating that's tricky ground. In the short-term isolating feels good, it's easier, you block out the world, you can go numb, you can feel safe; but let me tell you that's always temporary and isolation turns into a negative spiral affecting your emotions bringing on more depression or what symptoms you carry. It is an impossible sanctuary.

I've been going through a similar experience with isolation. Often times I feel too overwhelmed to intermix with people. I might be in a room full of people and still be isolating without even knowing it. However, are acknowledging the facts that short-term it feels good, but long-term is does more damage I had to change my behaviour. Although it hurts sometimes to have low self-esteem and call someone and be left feeling inferior, whether im distorting it, or not. It does you good to engage with the world. Short story short, I find isolation is not good for your health.

I think you're smart, and you will definelty get through this point in your life. Getting help, supports, and pills (if it's neccesary) are the keys to a stable happy life. Well not happy, but sometimes?

Good luck!

[Fuzzybear]

I went to my doctor today. She gave me new medicine for the pain. I have degenerative spine, in all my back. Have a bunch in the muscles in my neck near vertabrea and spinal column. She is sending me to a neurologist. Made an appointment with a counselor next monday. It is free of charge for me so i am grateful. Will talk about everything i have been suffering with. Told doctor i am depressed and cannot snap out of it, i am not my old self. Told her i think i must have a chemical imbalance in my brain. She referred me to both neurologist for brain seizures, mini strokes, and strokes that happened. Also for spine deteriating on me. And to counselor to deal with my depression. Finally i feel i am making a new start. Thank you all of you for your encouragement and support. Hugs....

[*Laurie*]

I'm so glad you consulted with your doctor. You are dealing with a lot, but there is help, and you will get it because you asked for it. Best to you~