[smartiesparty]

for the past 2 days, i've been feeling so disgusted with anything sexual and even with my boyfriend, whom i love dearly.
just thinking about sex and even hugging or kissing makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach and it's unbearable. it came so suddenly. i am scared i will destroy our relationship if that feelings lasts. the past weekend was very hard for me emotionally, as i was deeply affected by a fight i had with a person and also because of the attacks in Paris, i felt overwhelmed and since then, i've felt disgusted with physical contact for some reason. now i'm not seeing my boyfriend until after christmas, and i don't know what to do if that feeling hasn't gone away until then. i'm so sad,any advice will be appreciated

[alieninshadows]

I've felt this disgust, too. But for a different reason but I think I'm seeing a correlation. I got Post-partum Depression and PTSD after labor with my daughter and it took months to heal physically and years and years to heal mentally. I'm still not fully healed. Not even close. I think your going through similar notions and I don't think it will go away as quickly as it came.
Your health and well-being comes first. Sex is only enjoyable when both people are mentally and emotionally ready. It may disrupt your relationship, but I think you should talk to your boyfriend about this before he comes home so he's not thrown off guard and thinks something else is up. I there's anything more important in a relationship it's openness and honesty.
With all things considered, the Paris attack, the fight I think you have a good cause to feel the way you do. Some counselling may be a good idea.
I actually, was afraid to be at work the other day. I was enraged that we don't have proper security measures and I was analyzing everyone I saw. I can't believe my PM wants to rush in refugees. Sorry. Not trying to hijack your thread. But, yes, that incident put many people on edge and I think it's normal that it's affecting your personal life negatively.

"You know, I just haven't been feeling right since _________ and it is really affecting me emotionally. I'm having a hard time feeling close to anyone. It might take a bit to understand this. In the meantime can we ___________"

Does that sound like a conversation you can have?

I ocassionally get really iritated by things - the attacks and people's attitude to the refugee crisis are examples. When I am in a snit I'm afraid I don't feel very romantic. But, such feelings don't last very long. Often the support of my BF would actually bring me out of such a snit. When I DO come out of it I usually feel more than just romantic.

[smartiesparty]

The problem is that I also have obsessive thoughts ... I feel like everyone wants to kill me and harm me and recently it seems like I just can't trust men
I've known my boyfriend for such a long time and suddenly my brain is telling me "he only wants to harm you and kill you" over and over. I've been crying the whole day because I am so disgusted, it keeps me from doing my activities. I'm scared to be killed by a person I love. He is not even violent, he is the sweetest guy. But deep inside I'm telling myself "he's only hiding his game" ! that's also what disgusts me. I am really going crazy...i'm sorry for my confusing words.

[Thunder Bow]

You got heavy anxiety, keep the news station/site off, and relax.

[DBTDiva]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

The problem is that I also have obsessive thoughts ... I feel like everyone wants to kill me and harm me and recently it seems like I just can't trust men
I've known my boyfriend for such a long time and suddenly my brain is telling me "he only wants to harm you and kill you" over and over. I've been crying the whole day because I am so disgusted, it keeps me from doing my activities. I'm scared to be killed by a person I love. He is not even violent, he is the sweetest guy. But deep inside I'm telling myself "he's only hiding his game" ! that's also what disgusts me. I am really going crazy...i'm sorry for my confusing words.

Was there something that happened in the past that made you distrust men or is this just based on violence in the world? Once I got upset and stopped wanting to have sex with my then-husband because I was reading a book of essays by sex workers and the treatment they described from me was so horrible, I started to feel like all men were rapists and abusers in disguise. This did not affect my marriage very positively, as you can imagine.

If it's related to something in the past, then maybe you need to work through those feelings. If it's not, write down any "red flags" you have seen that might indicate violent behavior from him. If there aren't any, remind yourself of that every time you start to get frightened. Remind yourself that the vast majority of people - men and women, are not violent. Find something else specific that you can do when you start to obsess. Give yourself something to replace the thought with or an activity, a book to read, show to watch, song to sing, anything that will distract your mind.

[smartiesparty]

Originally Posted by DBTDiva

Was there something that happened in the past that made you distrust men or is this just based on violence in the world? Once I got upset and stopped wanting to have sex with my then-husband because I was reading a book of essays by sex workers and the treatment they described from me was so horrible, I started to feel like all men were rapists and abusers in disguise. This did not affect my marriage very positively, as you can imagine.

If it's related to something in the past, then maybe you need to work through those feelings. If it's not, write down any "red flags" you have seen that might indicate violent behavior from him. If there aren't any, remind yourself of that every time you start to get frightened. Remind yourself that the vast majority of people - men and women, are not violent. Find something else specific that you can do when you start to obsess. Give yourself something to replace the thought with or an activity, a book to read, show to watch, song to sing, anything that will distract your mind.

Thank you very much for replying. My father has always been violent, verbally and only slightly physically. My uncles and male cousins despise women, and I have grown up in an environment where women are despised and called 'sl*ts' etc. There were very disgusting jokes always. I have never felt comfortable around men. When I am in a waiting room and I hear an older man breathing loudly next to me, I get anxious and panic for no apparent reason. I have always been scared of going to my friend's house because sometimes their fathers were there. So my brain told me that their father was going to abuse me sexually because that's all men want to do.

On the other side, my boyfriend is a caring guy. He listens, understands. He often gets upset when he sees violence against women and says he hates it. He brings me flowers.
But in my disturbed mind, I tell myself that he is just playing the nice guy so that he can trap me and kill me and torture me physically. I tell myself he brings me flowers and gifts like bracelets and rings because he wants to manipulate me. Because in my brain, all men are bad and want to harm women.
I am trying to keep my mind busy but it is hard. The worst scenarios play and replayed in my head, making me crazy.