When words arent enough....

...how do you express what you have inside? Pain? How?

I feel like cutting, drinking, collapsing on the floor

Especially in my T's studio with him there,

but sometimes just everywhere i am and i am feeling overwhelmed.

How do you express pain so that it can be seen and validated?

I feel like i'm dying here

i understand because i feel this way alot

Mainly art.. whether it's drawing, painting, music, etc. If you're not particularly artsy (like myself, can't paint or sing to save my life lol) then collecting art from others and enjoying it can be soothing, too.

The thing about expressing pain for the sake of validation, is that words should be enough. You should be able to tell people who are close to you that you are hurting, and they should take it seriously. If that's not the case, then for whatever reason(s) the people in your life don't want to deal with your hurting, so they're not going to respond to you cutting, drinking, etc if they can't handle responding to your words. They're just not going to really respond, period, beyond an initial shock factor, possibly, but then they'll stop responding.

So in some cases it's a matter of coming to terms with the reality that the people you wish would act like they care, simply are not going to. Damaging yourself in various ways doesn't solve this problem. It's a problem that cannot be solved, so it's important to come to terms with it, even though that might be extremely hard.

But when it comes to expressing your emotions to yourself and for yourself, I think various forms of art is the best way to go.

Wow, I can relate . I am a mass of pain mainly from family hurts. Right now I am particularly turned inward and struggling to get it out. It is too bad that my counselor is on vacation this week.

Same here. I have been so overwhelmed that the thought of having some drinks to just feel relaxed for once sounds so tempting.

Over the summer I drank quite a lot to deal with my problems and I think it really alarmed my family, but I spent so much money every weekend that it was becoming a real issue.

I haven't drank for a couple months, so the only way I can truly feel relieved is when I'm sleeping, then when I wake up it all comes back instantly...

I'm learning to talk more, but most of the time I think it just goes over people's heads...

my art is creepy and gory. i wanted to cut in front of my T... i didnt but i told him.
i too am trying to meet more with people to distract myself but it doesnt work always or much....
i had a panic attack today....

It is good you told your therapist about your impulse. No wonder you had an panic attack. They go with on going therapy perfectly. Have you shown your art to your therapist?

i like to write my day in a diary, write in blood some words and collect violent pics.
i showed him a few more meaningful words.
how should this help? i dont understand?
i did it because i wanted to feel and other see i am real. thats all...

I hope meeting new people helps you distract from yourself. By new people you mean new friends? I thin it depends on the new person and how you feel about yourself. I know this isn't the most considerate thing to say I know from personal experience. When you're unhappy with yourself sometimes talking to others can make it worse. You see what they say not as what you hear but as a reflection of how you feel at the time. Is this clear?

http://forums.psychcentral.com/image...3&type=profile

MINE IS BLEEDING AND BREAKING, HURTING SOOOOOOO MUCH

please don't cut, i know it sounds like a broken record to you probably, but i hurt for others when they tell me they cut. i don't understand itor why people do it but i wish i could reach out and hugg people. i hope you can get through the holidays!!

cutting (and drinking but in a less way) are my only reliefs....

can you see your doc or t today? or at least get in touch with them? if not if you feel like cutting go to ER?

Thanks,
i went to the MHC twice and they helped, changed meds but out of there im alone and "abandoned" to myself so its very hard.
i called a hotline and even a new T to get me a proper diagnosis. i hope this will help....

If I don't write things down when I am overwhelmed and in deep depression I can't remember any of the details when I surface for a period of somewhat normalcy. If I write things down I can explain to my counselor what my thoughts and emotions were during that period. I know how awful those feelings can be. Especially when you are older and have had them your whole life. Sometimes death does seem like a peaceful alternative to the pain. I don't think I can ever do that to my family though. My daughter suffers from the same mental illness that I do and if I give up I think she could too. Plus I don't want to give my ex-husband the satisfaction! I know that is weird but I swear it matters.

I think any movement forward helps. It's so hard to push on when you are so darn sick and tired. I think it is very important to find a group that has similar issues so you don't feel so alone. That's what I have been trying to do.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I know things get really tough. I feel that way too. Reading helps me at times.