Wish to hurt

Is it bad if I wish for people to hurt me. Or want people to hate me. So that maybe I can justify hating myself. It's weird.

You got that right. Those thoughts are there so you can feel bad about yourself. You fear love and success.

Hello connect.the.stars: Hm-m-m-m... well... I wouldn't say it's "bad". On the other hand, it's probably not doing you, or your social life, any good. Something is going on with you psychologically that is causing you to feel this way. Perhaps it is something within non-conscious areas of your mind. So you don't know what it is that is causing you to feel the way you do. This situation may or may not resolve itself over time. So my thought would be that it might be best to delve into the cause of it sooner rather than later... before it morphs into something that is more serious.

Hi connect.the.stars.

I wouldn't the word "bad" in that sense, because that might imply that you're having "bad" thoughts.........there's something "bad" about the way you're thinking..........you're "bad" for having those thoughts.........and none of those things are true connect.the.stars.
The truth is that you're having a real hard time and you're struggling, right?
So shall we say that those thoughts really can't feel good for you??
And it's completely understandable how not liking yourself can lead you to feeling that you deserve to be hurt, how you want people to recognise you for what you think you are, how maybe you want to be "punished" too.
So..........the most important thing is the self hatred naturally...........focusing more on what's made/making you feel that way or what's contributing to it and challenging some of the impact of those things (real hard)...........recognising and giving yourself real credit for some of your good qualities (and they will be there, everyone is going to have some good qualities)...........
And maybe you can find more things to help you along the way e.g. getting more support from others, visual reminders of your achievements, CBT stuff (which you can find online even) if we're talking "black and white" thinking............
But connect.the.stars. IMO you really don't deserve to be hurt by others, or by yourself/your thoughts of yourself
So if you can work more on letting go of those feelings..........I know, much easier said than done, but you do deserve to be feeling better about yourself

Alison