Was ex boyfriend emotionally abusive??

I enjoyed being with him the first few years, he was from a different culture, I found it all so interesting. Years later he showed he had no respect for me. He would sometimes pretend to play fight, which was actually about humiliating me, he would be walking behind and shove my shoulders with his hands, almost tripping me. Everyone would stare. I got upset, he said you could have done it back, stop being a victim again, it was a joke.

I would try and have a conversation in a restaurant about a problem, he would talk about womens bodies really loudly, use the word c*ck, t*ts, put his fist up to my face as the waiter was there. When I looked shocked, he thought it was funny and said grow up,you're so reserved.

He kept excluding me from a relationship he was having with a girl for a year, he teased me sexually about her saying he saw her thong, asked me to take part in a threes*me with her, said what would I do if I caught him with lipstick on him after meeting her etc...yet refused to introduce me,

He would hide all her texts from me, so I ended up looking, she said how much she missed him when she didn't see him for a week with crying emoticons.She said how cosy she felt with him. How she fell in love with his music. How much she has grown since she met him.
He offered to cook for her when she was sick, they have been hanging out in his car alone.He has gone to doctors to get sick notes for her, saying "look how I take care of you". He said happy valentines day to her.

He said to his friend he was waiting for a moment and signal to ***** her, which he passed off as a dirty joke between men and me over reacting, since I loved drama and was jealous apparently. He told me all his friends had no idea why he was with me, that I was a crazy ******. Whenever I tried to stand up for myself, he would refer to me as ***** brains or whatever names he came up with. He left me when he demanded to see me after meeting this girl again behind my back. I refused, he said to keep being fixated when we are just friends, and continue living in my imaginary world.

Haven't heard from him since. I feel ashamed I allowed this to happen.

Finding it hard to pick myself up, and look anyone in the eye.

My self esteem is at an all time low. What helped you feel better?

Than

You stayed with him for years? What an a....hole he is! Have you seen a therapist to explore why you put up with abuse? Were you raised this way? What a horrible man. Be glad you got away! Omg so sorry

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Honestly, you are lucky he is out of your life. He sounds like a terrible bf and person, and definitely abusive in a very passive-aggressive manner! I really hate the disguised hostile humor he was subjecting you to. Don't feel bad or ashamed...be happy he's gone now!

Oh Hun! You deserve better than that! Men who exploit women are not men at all... they are animals! Women are to be treated with respect, but unfortunately not all cultures believe that. Take care of yourself and next time date your own cultural heritage and there will be less problems... (((hugs)))

yes, this guy is toxic! you should never feel ashamed for letting this happen, you probably saw the minute small postive qualities and hoped for the best. we all fall into that trap but we learn from it. plus this guy stole your self-esteem and then dangled it in front of your face like a carrot on a stick.

I was in that kind of relationship, guy cheated and empregnated 3 women during the time he was with me! he made me feel like I was crazy when I suspected and confronted him with my suspicions, when I finally concretely found out the truth, he blocked me. I felt like the dumbest, stupidest person. so ashamed and remorseful for letting this happen. all my experiences, accomplishments down the drain the minute I took this jerk back time and time again and let him make me look like a fool in public. I took such a Nasty blow , I literally couldn't get up from the floor. When I found out, I just dropped....
but you know what , taking 100% responsibility is not what you should do, these jerks do this for a living, like a job or a routine, it's who they are and they prey on the kindness of other people. you should not feel bad. at least you're capable of loving and being loved, look at that guy look at how he treats people, he'll never have the capacity to give what you can give. he'll be 40, 50,60 trying to pull the same stunts and guess what? no woman is going to find that charming. he'll end up alone.
these people are sick! they're like a disease and you succumb. the best thing you can do is get counseling, get on meds if necessary and use that to jumpstart and recover yourself. it's the only thing you can do, to survive, to love again, to become stronger and better and in your mind be the best you can be.. for yourself! not for anyone else. self preservation is key.

those type of idiot selfish guys will get what's coming to them, it's not your fault he took your heart hostage. the best you can do is to decrease the chances of that happening again .. decrease it until you get to 0 chances of that happening.

you know what I did? I went to therapy and got on meds, i felt ashamed for doing that too, knowing I was in such a sad state while he went on his merry way. but it was the best decision I ever made, because I got better and once the meds kicked in and I felt it, I would think to myself: never again! won't let him get away with it killing me inside.

that guy is such an a-hole. you're 100x better than that! at least you figured it out and are not with him now, that's monumental and courageous!

There are better men out there for you. He is not the only one. I too am looking for a nice respectful man. My ex was a "bad boy" wasn't a nice guy. He was just like yours. He has issues and it not your responsibility to fix them. Focus on you and yourself.

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Wow. I'm so sorry. I've been in an emotionally abusie relationship myself and it's hard to realise what's happening when you are in the midst of it isn't it? Nothing compared to what you have been through though. Well done for getting out. Well done for speaking about it! You will find someone who gives you the world and who won't dare harm you emotionally or in any way for that matter, and you will see the difference it makes to be with someone who truly deserves you (((hugs)))