How to calm down when angry/upset?

I do. 4 dogs and a cat.

I'm sorry that upset you, Artchic. First of all, everyone is entitled to their preference when it comes to what they are attracted to, just remember that there are plenty of men attracted to redheads like yourself, you just happened to run into a group of guys who think Asian women are beautiful.

Also, remember it's not all about looks. You have so much going for you. Your insightful, super creative, smart, witty...do you really want to sum all that up just in your looks?

But if you want ways to calm down after getting worked up, I found a good run or kickboxing class always helped get the anger out. =)

Feel better,
Seesaw

I have read many of your posts, Artchic, and tried to answer in a kind way...as have many others because the people are very kind here.

I want you to feel better, too, but I seem to fail a lot. Perhaps because I am overly concise and it comes across as being a bit rude...

Taking your other posts into consideration, I think you might want to look at how people DO communicate online. It's not the same as in person. There is no voice inflection or facial expressions to help you (or them) along. So you have to allow for that. So do they.

You can't do anything about them, but you can maybe "overcompensate" with your conversations. Being concise can (as I have mentioned) come across differently than how we mean it to....and not in a good way. Perhaps you could read some posts or blogs and see how you, yourself respond to them? And see HOW they are saying those things that give you positive vibes...

Speaking of positive vibes, there are ways of saying "I'm not interested"...without offense. This guy told you he was attracted to a specific look, then he told you that a long distance relationship wasn't for him. Those are both nicer ways of saying the same thing. He simply was not interested. And that's fine. It doesn't make him a "dickwad" or a "jerk"....it just makes him a guy with a limited means of communication, trying to let you down in as kind a way as he can.

So reading and understanding what is said, (and what isn't said), does take some skill. So does writing in a manner that conveys how pleasant you really are.

I wish you all the best.

I don't appreciate a guy using "being nice" as an excuse to beat around the bush. It's just that, another excuse. I've been given a gambit of excuses by all the guys in my life as to why they aren't attracted to me. Therefor, all guys are dickwads and can't get it through their thick skulls that I don't appreciate being strung along. I'm a big girl, I can take a blunt "no". I don't need to be baby fed lies that are being disguised as "being nice".

I do appreciate your posting though, so don't think I don't. I guess when few people post when you're crying out in pain, you feel even more miserable.

I'm crying now. If I hadn't forgotten to take my meds this morning, and as a result, am feeling not myself, I would color or something.

Got so upset I threw up. Or maybe it was the food. Either way, I threw up. Not good. I hate throwing up.

I'm not feeling so great emotionally either right now and so I am going to lock myself away and finish the coloring challenge I'm doing in a fb group.

You know what I find strange? As much as coloring itself calms me, so does rearranging my pencils and staring at the colors.

Sorry your puking! Hugs. . Feel better

#Life is a beautiful lie#

Thanks. I can still taste it, the vomit. It was one of the most unpleasant tastes I ever experienced. I had some apples and peanut butter afterword. So far those are staying down.

Ugh, that aftertaste is the worst ever! . Apples and peanut butter sound good, I haven't had that combo in ages. Last week I ate a PBJ though because I realized I hadn't had one in at least 3 years. It was pretty awesome. But it has to be grape jelly in my PBJ, my husband thinks I'm a psycho, he thinks there is no difference between jelly when combined with peanut butter.

#Life is a beautiful lie#

I think if you didn't really date a guy and never met you can't say he strung you along. You asked if he would date you and he said he needed to think about it which is a fair answer if it is unexpected question. He then says no. It didn't make him evil. We can't date every person who asks. If you didn't like a guy you would say no too. That's how it works. Plus he might be a jerk and you dodged a bullet by getting away

Just saw you threw up so sorry hope you feel better and forget about this guy

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He WAS a jerk. Period. I expressly told him I don't appreciate being strung along, that I have trouble distinguishing between when someone is joking and when they are being serious, and he STILL flirted with me and refused to just say "I'm not interested".

It was good, but now I'm afraid I don't know if I took my meds before or after throwing up. I'm feeling withdrawals and can't seem to focus right, and don't know if it's because I don't have meds in my system, or because I'm still not 100% yet because I just took them.

I went ahead and took another dose, mostly because I can't stand feeling this way, which is all discombobulated and disconnected. I am at the point where I want to throw things, and am so frustrated I can barely articulate what I feel, much less figure out what I need to calm down.

*sigh* This has been a stressful week.

Can you go for a brisk walk or punch a pillow or something to get the rage out?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

Well, it's too dark for a walk right now, seeing that it's nearly 1 in the morning. I already tried the pillow thing. It helped, not much, but it helped.

I decided to take a long hot bath, but kept going over stuff in my head where I was increasingly working myself up. It happened when I got out of the tub, I was unable to breathe, both from being completely worked up, and from the smothering humidity that had grown in the bathroom. I was gasping for air and completely terrified at not being able to breathe. My bathroom is connected to my bedroom by a door, so I went straight through there and into my bedroom, where my inhaler was. I grabbed it and used it and sat down on my bed, telling myself to breathe in deep calming breaths and relaxed my body muscle by muscle.

I'm fine now, but if it weren't for the fact that I have an inhaler, I probably would have been in big trouble.

(((Art))) you're letting him rent space in your head for free. Evict him now.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

It's not just him, Seesaw, it's basically every guy I've ever known. That and another thread I posted on here that yielded some results that made me upset.

My t recommends staying very busy when obsessing over things. She also recommends distractions like funny movies or tv shows nothing too intellectual ( not as normal activity but when obsessing about things)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Divine, that is such good advice. Distractions help so much with obsessive thinking.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

-------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry to hear that. I used to be quite sensitive to stuff that was said in chatrooms too. Just remember this, a lot of young guys, and even some older ones can be really stupid and annoying. And insensitive as well. They're not worth your time. That one guy was lying to you. To hell with guys like that.

Most guys do have a certain type that they're attracted to just like us women have our preferences. It doesn't make it bad or wrong. Just remember that it's not personal. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive or inferior. Some guys don't even like Asian women.

Some guys do of course. Everyone is different. It's hard not to take some things personally when you're sensitive, especially when you're young as you seem to be (It sounds like you are). If you don't like what someone says, then you can tell them that what was said is wrong, upsetting, etc...but if that's just their opinion, there probably isn't much you can do to change it as most people tend to be set in their beliefs and opinions.

As long as they're not being personally rude or disrespectful, just let it go. Sometimes there will be people out there that will deliberately say and do things to upset other people in order to get a reaction out of them. I don't know why they do it, but IMHO, there is something wrong with people like that. The internet is full of trolls and people like that.

Even if they aren't trolls, there are a lot of idiots on here for sure. Just ignore them and block them if they upset you that much. And remember to not take some people on here to seriously. A lot of guys and people in general go on here to mess with people. Like I said, there are a lot of trolls and idiots on here. Don't feed the trolls or give stupid people the attention they so desperately want and need.

Focus on kind honest guys who won't lie to you and try to make your feel insecure about yourself. You'll be so much happier if you focus on the people that like you for you instead of fuming about some clown who likes to play stupid games.

Oh, about the distraction thing, I agree with what Divine said! It does help most of the time! Listen to music that you like, go shopping, do something that you like. Watching a funny or cute movie always cheers me up!

I never went in any chat rooms. You don't know who these people are. The only time I went on chat rooms was twice on PC emotional support chat. I needed a distraction and was upset. People were from different countries and we discussed climate and cultural events, then our jobs etc . It was pleasant and very helpful for me on those specific days. There was nothing stupid going on. Chats where some random people talk about how women look etc doesn't sound pleasant. Stir away

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It wasn't the chats on here, but a Chatango chatroom that I was upset by.

I know it's not on PC. That's what I was saying. Why go on these chats? It seems that topic their discuss are not very intellectual plus you find them offensive. I was suggesting if you do feel like you want to chat maybe you can use PC chats for specific topic or emotional support. It really doesn't sound like these chatango people have much substance. I have only been on chat at PC ( for specific support)so I don't know how other chats are but this sound kind of useless. What's the topic of the chats outside of how Asian women look.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk