[NSNW1218]

Soon time for bed. The demons come out then. Always wake up anxious. Not a good way to live.

Originally Posted by NSNW1218

Soon time for bed. The demons come out then. Always wake up anxious. Not a good way to live.

Are you afraid of darkness and something will appear to you literally?

[Frankbtl]

Hi NSNW

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time
Do you want to tell us a bit more about those demons........??
For now, hoping you've had a better night and sending you hugs
But if you want to talk more...........



Alison

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Wandering Soul

Are you afraid of darkness and something will appear to you literally?

No just that my unconscious mind goes nuts on me

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi NSNW

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time
Do you want to tell us a bit more about those demons........??
For now, hoping you've had a better night and sending you hugs
But if you want to talk more...........



Alison

Sometimes I remember sometimes I don't. Common theme losing it all. Wake up so afraid of what I just dreamed about even if I can't remember what it was

Originally Posted by NSNW1218

No just that my unconscious mind goes nuts on me

OK, so you have nightmares or something like that? Do you have anxiety?

[Born To Succeed]

My emotions are usually strongest in the morning. Most of my anxiety and fear is felt as soon as I wake up. Try just being with that feeling of fear and anxiety. Ask yourself, "what are these emotions trying to tell me?" And most importantly, just accept them as they are. If you attempt to make them go away, you'll just be creating more resistance.

Emotions in themselves are not dangerous. The real danger is in ignoring them. I'm glad you're paying attention to them and trying to figure out what they are all about. Be persistent.

[Frankbtl]

Hi NSNW,

With the sense of loss.........the anxiety..........I'm wondering if there are things in your life you're generally feeling insecure about??? And if so there's anything that can be done to either cut or strengthen those ties???
Or maybe with some losses in your life you haven't been able to come to terms with them, or not had a real sense of closure???
And losing it all...........do you think maybe some parts of your identity you're "over" attributing to some things..........meaning if they weren't in your life, maybe you/your life/your identity could be just as strong??? I'm not saying remove those elements but maybe re-evaluate their significance..............
But I'd suggest maybe keeping a journal as well...........recording anything significant that has happened in the days where you do and don't have the nightmares......even include times you went to sleep, feelings during the day, what you ate/drank........maybe there could be a pattern or triggers in there somewhere that could help..............
Just some thoughts.............



Alison

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Wandering Soul

OK, so you have nightmares or something like that? Do you have anxiety?

Very much so anxious a lot. A bad combo

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Wandering Soul

OK, so you have nightmares or something like that? Do you have anxiety?

Yes anxious a lot. Comes on without warning

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi NSNW,

With the sense of loss.........the anxiety..........I'm wondering if there are things in your life you're generally feeling insecure about??? And if so there's anything that can be done to either cut or strengthen those ties???
Or maybe with some losses in your life you haven't been able to come to terms with them, or not had a real sense of closure???
And losing it all...........do you think maybe some parts of your identity you're "over" attributing to some things..........meaning if they weren't in your life, maybe you/your life/your identity could be just as strong??? I'm not saying remove those elements but maybe re-evaluate their significance..............
But I'd suggest maybe keeping a journal as well...........recording anything significant that has happened in the days where you do and don't have the nightmares......even include times you went to sleep, feelings during the day, what you ate/drank........maybe there could be a pattern or triggers in there somewhere that could help..............
Just some thoughts.............



Alison

I think I am starting to process being sexually abuse while in school. Knowing my life would be different and I would be happier. It's hard to trust. I know many people but have few friends. I am angry and resentful. Mad at God. I am 56 and just want to be happy. I am diabetic and sometimes when I go low I just think don't do anything and go into a diabetic coma or just die.

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi NSNW,

With the sense of loss.........the anxiety..........I'm wondering if there are things in your life you're generally feeling insecure about??? And if so there's anything that can be done to either cut or strengthen those ties???
Or maybe with some losses in your life you haven't been able to come to terms with them, or not had a real sense of closure???
And losing it all...........do you think maybe some parts of your identity you're "over" attributing to some things..........meaning if they weren't in your life, maybe you/your life/your identity could be just as strong??? I'm not saying remove those elements but maybe re-evaluate their significance..............
But I'd suggest maybe keeping a journal as well...........recording anything significant that has happened in the days where you do and don't have the nightmares......even include times you went to sleep, feelings during the day, what you ate/drank........maybe there could be a pattern or triggers in there somewhere that could help..............
Just some thoughts.............



Alison

Thanks you have given me a lot to think about

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi NSNW

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time
Do you want to tell us a bit more about those demons........??
For now, hoping you've had a better night and sending you hugs
But if you want to talk more...........



Alison

yes I do. Thought I posted something back to you but can't find it. I get frustrated with computer. Rick

[Frankbtl]

Hi Rick

Yes, let's agree computers have minds of their own, hey?
But what is good is that it's brought you here/to us

And.........I'm really sorry about the abuse you had to go through, and thank you for sharing that
Certainly abuse can leave it's scars and trying to/or processing it can bring added pain and effects.........but in the journey of processing it some of those understandable negative feelings/thoughts about yourself can be challenged. And sometimes you can grow to realise not only what was taken away from you, but what wasn't/can't be as well and build on those things.........because while nothing will take away what happened and it's completely understandable what an impact that will have had on you...........you are also much more than the abuse/what happened too, it might be real hard to see sometimes but...........

I wish there was some real simple advise I could give to speed up the processing.........but there are no "easy answers", which I'm sure you'll know (!!), it can take time to get there, and it does need to be at your own pace............and some of the feelings you're having like anger and resentment, well they are completely natural, understandable feelings, and stages you're going to need to work through, I'm sorry
But, what is really good is that you're starting to really process what happened, and especially talking about it/sharing/reaching out.........confronting what happened and breaking that SO harmful silence
I don't know if you've already been checking out the Survivors of Abuse forum:
Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central
but from my experience there are some incredibly understanding, caring and supportive people on there.........so maybe that's a place you can get some more support from too.........it is a road you shouldn't have to go down alone...........



Alison

[NSNW1218]

So I had a couple of beers to many. Got home safe from euchre but the pain remains. If I had a set of balls I would either swallow more pills then I should or ok let train run me over. Life just sucks and there is no way out it just a matter of time

[NSNW1218]

My bills would be caught up with insurance. My mind would be at rest. My depression and sadness would be over. Life sucks I am a,waste of time. Where is God in all of this. I am so frustrated. I don't want to wake up in the morning

[NSNW1218]

I can't see any positives at all.

[NSNW1218]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi NSNW,

With the sense of loss.........the anxiety..........I'm wondering if there are things in your life you're generally feeling insecure about??? And if so there's anything that can be done to either cut or strengthen those ties???
Or maybe with some losses in your life you haven't been able to come to terms with them, or not had a real sense of closure???
And losing it all...........do you think maybe some parts of your identity you're "over" attributing to some things..........meaning if they weren't in your life, maybe you/your life/your identity could be just as strong??? I'm not saying remove those elements but maybe re-evaluate their significance..............
But I'd suggest maybe keeping a journal as well...........recording anything significant that has happened in the days where you do and don't have the nightmares......even include times you went to sleep, feelings during the day, what you ate/drank........maybe there could be a pattern or triggers in there somewhere that could help..............
Just some thoughts.............



Alison

Allison the pain is not worth it. It will never go away. I am a failure . I am so mentally tired.