[Artchic528]

I'm pretty worked up right now. I was in a chat where I was the only girl and the guys were all saying how superior Asian women were in looks to any other ethnicity and it pissed me off.

I basically got so upset that I stormed out of the chat. Now I need some ideas of how to calm myself down.

[Artchic528]

Too bad this isn't like a chat where there's more immediate responses...

[Artchic528]

hmmm.....

[Artchic528]

[Artchic528]

*sigh*

I'm on the verge of tears now, and have this feeling that I'm being avoided. Paranoia maybe, but it's a very real feeling all the same.

[RomanSunburn]

I'm sorry to hear your feeling so upset, Artchic. The only thing I can say is, well, not everyone feels the way those guys do. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Some people are just more sensitive about expressing it to others; other people, not so much.

I'm not sure if you're still worked up, but if so, try taking some deep breaths, maybe trying journaling about it. You can also feel free to post about it some more. I know you're feeling ignored, but you're not, truly.

I'm sorry I don't have great advice for dealing with anger. When I get worked up, I have a hard time calming down again, too.

[Artchic528]

*sigh*

Basically, there was this one guy who claimed that the 8 hour driving distance between us was "too far" for him to commit to being in a relationship, yet he also said he'd go to Japan just to see some Asian girls dressed up as maids with cat ears in some café in a heartbeat.

When I pointed that fact out, he then began to state that he doesn't know what I look like, despite me posting 3 pictures of myself in the chat. One of which was a full and clear body shot, fully clothed of course.

Honestly, I can respect him not wanting to be in a relationship with me, but saying that I'm "too far"? Man, talk about getting the run around. So, anyways, I'm feeling calmer now that I've had a chance to post about it.

[RomanSunburn]

Personally, I hate the "too far" excuse. I realize an LDR isn't for everyone, but a lot of people think they're less likely succeed than a close proximity relationship. But I feel like if that were true, everyone would marry their first loves and live happily ever after, no?

Anyway, I agree. He was definitely giving you the run-around and making excuses when he slipped up. Clearly not worth your time. It's too bad he just couldn't be straightforward with you.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I can definitely see why you were upset.

[Artchic528]

Yeah...I'm done with him. He can play his little games with someone else.

[elevatedsoul]

some people do that kind of thing, i used to think about being lonely alot... because im goodlooking and have alot to offer but i have some other things that cause challenges, but ive just kind of stopped thinking about it because if im gonna meet someone thats interested in me the way i would be interested in them then it will happen... i still day dream sometimes and it does make me sad sometimes still but sometimes i feel like if i was in a relationship it would just complicate things even more so you know

about that asian comment... you know how stereo types are, of course all the pictures guys see of asian girls are gonna be attractive, but you know... most the pictures of other girls guys look at are attractive like that too, just because there are pretty ones doesnt mean the other races or whatever are inferior, its just that they only pay attention to those model type girls - you know what i mean?
i haven't been there of course so i cant speak from experience but im just saying it the way i see it as a guy :/ alot of guys are dumb about that stuff and probably just be attracted to a girl because she's 5 million miles away with strange skin and short and someone they cant have blablabla, ya know what i mean?
i think thats how they think, im a guy but you know i really dont get guys either - i dont get girls either though so im lost on both sides

dont worry about what they said, its bull hockey

[Raindropvampire]

I'm sorry responses were slow and that the guys you were chatting with were jerks To answer your question I calm down by beating the stuffing out of my popup clown or my angry pillow. Sometimes it also helps me to calm down if I shred paper.

To answer your question; try to analyze why this made you so angry. Some guys do have a preference for a certain race or ethnicity. I think it's silly but it's the way it is.
On the guy you mentioned... 8 hours is a long way. By car I'd guestimate the distance as around 1000 to 1200 miles? Granted the remark about going to Japan to see girls in cat ears was silly but all I see in yours or his criteria for a relationship is what each other looks like. That also seems silly especially with that much distance between you. And last but maybe not least... it was a chat room. I can't think of many things said in a chat room that would upset me. Maybe if somebody started talking about torturing kittens maybe but it's the internet. People say all kinds of ****. And seriously, you were further upset because it took 51 minutes to get a response to a post about anger over something said in a chat room? BTW all questions were rhetorical.

[Artchic528]

Okay, I was upset because he wouldn't fawn over me like he fawned over the cat eared Japanese maid girls. I felt like I wasn't good enough for some reason or another, mainly for not being an Asian girl. Also, I've known LDR's that dealt with far greater distances and they still gave it a try. So, being 8 hours, or 1000-1200 miles apart isn't really the issue here.

Also, it wasn't just a mere 51 minutes, it was more like a couple of hours.

So now that I know why I'm upset, what do I do now?

Maybe it helps to seek out counseling and get to the core of why being ignored causes this anger. Meanwhile, I would suggest physical exercise. Getting off the internet and in touch with nature can do wonders. I hope you feel better.

[Artchic528]

Consoling would be great, if not for the difficulty in getting there. My mother was very upset when she found me asleep instead of being ready for a therapy appointment, and refuses to take me to anymore. I don't have a car and therefor can't drive myself.

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Consoling would be great, if not for the difficulty in getting there. My mother was very upset when she found me asleep instead of being ready for a therapy appointment, and refuses to take me to anymore. I don't have a car and therefor can't drive myself.

You can try to make it clear to your mother that from now on you will be very serious about getting to your appointments and if that fails, you can ask friends to take you, or take public transport. I also found transport services by social services Mecklenburg Transportation System (MTS)

[RomanSunburn]

Originally Posted by George H.

On the guy you mentioned... 8 hours is a long way. By car I'd guestimate the distance as around 1000 to 1200 miles?

It's actually a lot less--closer to 500 miles.

I'm a long distance pro I went to school 8 hours from home, and my husband and I dated 1,000 miles apart, among other distances.

[Mondayschild]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Okay, I was upset because he wouldn't fawn over me like he fawned over the cat eared Japanese maid girls. I felt like I wasn't good enough for some reason or another, mainly for not being an Asian girl. Also, I've known LDR's that dealt with far greater distances and they still gave it a try. So, being 8 hours, or 1000-1200 miles apart isn't really the issue here.

Also, it wasn't just a mere 51 minutes, it was more like a couple of hours.

So now that I know why I'm upset, what do I do now?

For me, the best way to cope is either to work on a project or to journal about it. My *journal* is either the notepad on my phone or an art journal. I think just getting it out as to what really upset you was courageous, rejection sucks but know every single person in the world has been rejected and we all can relate to that. I have a tough time talking about rejection, I immediately go to that dark place where logic can't live.

*life is a beautiful lie*

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

It's actually a lot less--closer to 500 miles.

I'm a long distance pro I went to school 8 hours from home, and my husband and I dated 1,000 miles apart, among other distances.

You're right. I googled Houston to Tulsa and it's about 8 hours and about 500 miles. I don't know about "rest"stops and eating but I tend to drive fast so it works out I also have a long distance relationship but it developed over many hours of chats and emails.
Artchic I'm not unsympathetic but it seems you may benefit from working on how easily you get angry or upset. I guess the importance all depends on how long you knew this guy. But from the way you make him sound I think you might consider yourself lucky he rejected you, if that's what he did.

[elevatedsoul]

:/ i was in a long distance relationship for 4 years
me north america her south america

i dont like long distance relationships, i think they are dangerous
she was easily able to be manipulative

be careful

[Artchic528]

Well, he said no, finally, but also said he was saying it like I was a small child.

Some guy, eh? Well, it's too bad that guys are all dickwads and jerks. I really wanted to believe that love could exist. Maybe I was deluding myself.

[Artchic528]

I'm upset again....can't sleep. I have sleeping pills. But feel to upset to really go down and take them.

[Artchic528]

Well, it's too late to use those sleeping pills now anyways...I'll be sleeping all day if I use them.

[Artchic528]

...is this thing on?

*taps mic a few times*

Am I being heard?

[Yoda]

I am listening, I just am not sure what to say to help.

Loving on my horse, dogs and cats always helped me when upset but I don't know if you have pets.