[passionfruit3]

I hate Facebook so much all my family with there happy lives.today my cousin posted a video of his one year old daughter.he's younger than me and seems so happy with his daughter.I wish I had a child but I can't take care of myself I think of suicide constantly. The things in the past I thought would make me happy don't make me happy I'm just miserable maybe a child would not make me happy. Still I look at my cousin doing it with ease and I think I could do that just give me a chance Lord and I'd be a good mother.and with my sister about to get married I know baby comes next usually and I am miserable that the same is not possible for me there will never be a mini me running around happily cause I can't Stop hurting myself. And even if I could who'd give me a child.my boyfriend whose been in jail a dozen times and I don't love.that would be using him and I'm not that type of person even if I did want a child badly enough. It would. Have to be right.

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[pegasus]

May be having a child right now is not a good idea for you but you never know what will happen in the future. Hang in there.

[Artchic528]

^+1

A guy who's been in jail isn't worth dating IMHO.

Of course if you personally don't feel like you are ready to have a baby, you shouldn't yet. But when you do decide you are ready, don't let other people's opinions control you. Plenty of people with mental illnesses have children and they are great parents. The most important thing is that you love the baby, and when you do, things will work out. I don't understand why people who want children get judged for wanting them, but someone who doesn't actually want a child can have them on "accident"(I couldn't think of a better word, but children are
NEVER accidents or mistakes) and no one says anything.

I don't use Facebook anymore because I feel like it is just a way for people to brag and show off their lives to others. Live for yourself, not other people.

[doyoutrustme]

have you considered getting a dog for now?

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

have you considered getting a dog for now?

I have a cat whose basically feral hates cats dogs tolerated us.so that won't work.she won't even let us pick her up.

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[Bill3]

she won't even let us pick her up

I read that a lot of dogs just don't like to be picked up as then they feel out of control. For those dogs it isn't personal, they don't like to be picked up by anyone.

[Thunder Bow]

You are just looking for reasons to feel bad about yourself. No need to do that.

Well you know facebook is just a snapshot of life, and certainly is not the whole story. Not many people document the night feeds when they didn't know whether they were coming or going they were so tired, or explosive diapers, sick down their best clothes - floor walking with colic, toddler tantrums - etc, etc.

I love my son, but am the first to admit it is not always easy being a parent, it's the steepest learning curve I ever had (and I'm not even mentioning the teenage years but believe me they are challenging). And that is co-parenting with a dependable loving partner - can't imagine it without him.

As for 'mini me', IMO forget that - they are mini themselves, just as we once were too, if you expect a mini version of yourself you will likely be disappointed. They will soon grow and make their own minds up about things, it's amazing how limited parental influence is too once they are among their peer group.

That said, maybe one day this will happen for you, but you are right to wait to be in the right place in life before you consider parenthood - be proud you have that sense.

In the meantime, if your sister does have kids, you have the prospect of being an auntie which in my experience is a wonderful thing to be. You get to have all the fun without the hard work/worry.

[gina_re]

Being an aunt actually is amazing. My sister is two years younger than me. Of course once she had her first one everyone is looking at me like when am I going to do the same thing. Seven years later...she just had her second one. The cool thing about being the aunt is that you get to have all the fun, then you send them back to the parents for the boring and difficult stuff, i.e. potty training, discipline, helping with homework, etc. It really is a LOT of work, and expensive!

having a child in order to feel you fit in or to have a built in person to love isn't such a great idea. Better to have a child when you can count on things like relationships, income, and health to be stable.

Still I know it hurts and all the reminders bombarding you don't help. Start with the companionship of a pet - a dog in particular (they take a great deal more responsibility than a cat but also give back a flood of affection in return).

[itsgettinglate]

So sorry you're feeling this way. It's so frustrating to want something and to feel like you can't have it. That may not be the case for you forever, but right now it feels that way and that feeling really sucks. Not with this issue, but I've definitely felt hopeless about getting something I wanted or needed.

[Anonymous37919]

Raising a child as a single parent is a lot of work, so be prepared for that. My sister was having to rely on us because she broke up with her ex and his parents got custody of her eldest son, which caused a real commotion. Lately, she's had to see her other kid in a social center, because he was giving to carers. She gets really stressed out. They didn't even show up for contact a week ago, and my sister was so angry.

It's not a nice feeling when everything goes wrong.

[Leyla]

i agree with everyone, PARENTING IS HARD WORK... i have a tween and believe me there are days when i wanna pull my hair out. don't feel bad if you are not a mother yet, i really do believe you need to work on yourself first and the rest will fall into place.