[ADeepSandbox]

I recently revealed something awful and life-changing that happened to me about 15 years ago, to a person in my life and I am ao deeply regretting it. I've just sort of had a meltdown over it, I feel more depressed than I have in a while. I'm so afraid of having told this secret. It's like this loaded gun that I've handed to another person.

I read about people feeling better after getting things off their chest, but I only become horribly anxious and want to separate myself from that person so they can't hurt me. I regret so deeply ever having said anything. My anxiety is through the roof.

I had the exact same reaction after telling my ex-psychiatrist about it when I was still seeing him. I never told my therapist, I was never close to her. It's just this horror that someone out there KNOWS and I wish I had never brought it up.

I almost feel panicky with lots of bad thoughts and fears from that time in my life stirred up. I more or less picked a fight today with the person I told, over something stupid. I'm just a mess right now. It was such a mistake. I don't want anyone else to ever know what happened. I can't stand it.

It's completely sidetracked the other work I was doing. I hope this will fade in time. I'm just so exhausted and anxious. I don't know why I freak out so bad or feel so much terror over telling someone something that happened so long ago.

I feel like an agitated porcupine, putting out her quills to threaten everybody away from me. I'm so ashamed of this reaction. I don't know how to get a grip.

[helplessandhopeful]

I quite often feel the same way. I think with me it's a trust issue. I don't trust the other person to blab it around or use it against me in some way.
I never quite know what to do or what to say but I do know that I often say way too much.
I hope your feelings of anxiety and fear dissipate - maybe some deep breathing and some sleep will help.
Hang in there.

Why do you feel you revealed too much? Is it because you meant to keep it private but disclosed on impulse and regretted it?

Perhaps you were needing to reveal it, deep inside, but it took a lot of courage and was bringing things back to the surface?

I don't know your situation but I'm thinking of you. Be gentle with yourself. xo

[ADeepSandbox]

Originally Posted by helplessandhopeful

I quite often feel the same way. I think with me it's a trust issue. I don't trust the other person to blab it around or use it against me in some way.
I never quite know what to do or what to say but I do know that I often say way too much.
I hope your feelings of anxiety and fear dissipate - maybe some deep breathing and some sleep will help.
Hang in there.

Yeah, I feel similar. I don't even know what I expect her to do, it's just like a threat that's there.

Thank you - I'm going to spend the weekend just focusing on self-care before I get back to working on stuff. I got an adult coloring book and some crayons, and I have tons of yarn for crocheting too. I want to clean the house first, cleaning always makes me feel better, too.

[ADeepSandbox]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Why do you feel you revealed too much? Is it because you meant to keep it private but disclosed on impulse and regretted it?

Perhaps you were needing to reveal it, deep inside, but it took a lot of courage and was bringing things back to the surface?

I don't know your situation but I'm thinking of you. Be gentle with yourself. xo

Just based on how I feel now having revealed it, makes me wish I hadn't. She didn't really need to know. We were just talking about some other personal stuff – mostly the things I hope to work through from my past – and I kind of went too far and divulged it. She wanted me to tell details but I couldn't do that.

This person is a relative but has a bad temper and in the past has been verbally abusive, though she's gotten better about it lately. I guess there's a part of me that might be especially scared because I fear she'll end up hurting me because of that.

It's on "the list" of things from my past that I'm going to be addressing, but it's not something I wanted to tackle first. I'm trying to put it back in the box so I can finish what I was doing first. Otherwise it gets too overwhelming.

[Shaly78]

This will pass soon enough, we all have regrets. There isn't enough competent people I don't care how educated, it just ain't so if you knew you would actually do better if they knew no body would be making pills, there be a cure for everything! The agony doesn't stay for ever!

[Thunder Bow]

One can find many things to feel bad about one self. You are doing this to keep feeling bad about yourself. Best to work this all through with a good therapist.

[ADeepSandbox]

Originally Posted by Shaly78

This will pass soon enough, we all have regrets. There isn't enough competent people I don't care how educated, it just ain't so if you knew you would actually do better if they knew no body would be making pills, there be a cure for everything! The agony doesn't stay for ever!

Thank you very much. It helps to have a reminder that it will pass.

[ADeepSandbox]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

One can find many things to feel bad about one self. You are doing this to keep feeling bad about yourself. Best to work this all through with a good therapist.

Thank you for your response, however, I disagree. I'm actively working on my life to get better. I do not want to keep feeling badly about myself. This reaction came out of left field. I wish that I felt comforted for having told someone this information, but instead I just feel more afraid, and I am contemplating why that is.

I cannot currently trust anyone enough to make therapy anything but a waste of time and money, but I will continue working on my issues on my own and perhaps that will change enough that I will feel capable of undertaking therapy. Reaching out here for support as I continue to work on my issues is part of that for me. Thank you again!

[ADeepSandbox]

I am pleased to say that my plan for taking care of myself over the weekend was very helpful and I'm feeling better. I'm getting back on track with my self-help work today. Thank you again for all your support and input.

[jade0610]

In the past, I have often revealed too much in relationships. At the time, I thought it was a good idea to share that particular type of information with the particular individual(s). Afterwards, and sometimes during the release, I realized that it was not a good idea.

After deep thought, I realized that I often divulged sensitive information based on desperation, anxiousness, and/or impulsiveness. Now, I have a strategy. I give myself a few days (or more) to think about sharing the information and the relationship I have with the individual.

If after a few days (or more), I still feel the urge to divulge the same information to the individual, I consider the nature of information, how much information am I willing to share, how much information is the indivdual capable of handling, what do I hope to gain by sharing, how I would feel if it was divulged, how could the information be used against me, and the relationship with the other individual.

[MissMarti]

I feel exactly the same when I reveal personal stuff, I think it's about trust, it makes me feel really vulnerable.
I'm so glad you're feeling better, sounds like you've worked hard to distract yourself. x

[Deeplyhurt77]

I've been in the same situation and when the times gets rough, I've found my past is thrown back in my face. I will keep the most personal abuse kept to myself as long as possible. However, my past is a huge hunk of me, at this time. I can't deal with anyone for a while. Just need to protect my heart

[Thunder Bow]

Feeling bad about yourself is like an old friend that is hard to say goodbye to. It goes perfectly with self protection.