I don't have anyone

I don't have anyone, I have no close friends, no on to talk to. My dad has hit me in the face off and on before, but the mental abuse is worse. Someone called CPS a few years ago when I had to go to the psych ward. But they did nothing when they came out. I constantly get told I'm ugly, stupid, fat, and worthless. I don't even know who to talk to as I don't have anyone in rl. I've tried going to this church with my cousin before, as he wanted advice as he was abused badly by my aunt and uncle. The church leader of our group, always stood us up, and was not there for us when she said she would be. Any advice?

The power lies inside of yourself to change how you perceive the world around you. I am seeing images on the internet all of the time defining beauty as what we feel inside of ourselves and not what we choose to think or believe as physical beauty. We must tell ourselves to smile and it helps how we feel inside. Say hello to a stranger, with a smile, then walk away. Then compliment yourself for doing that so awesomely. The praise must first come from within.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But remember that just because a lot of people tell you something, it doesn't necessairly mean it's true. So don't be hard with yourself

The abuse needs to stop - and you are in the position to change it. Previous posts of yours have suggested to me you are a young adult and therefore have the ability to ultimately move out. There are many agencies that can help you do so and get on your feet.

But I also read into your posts that you have some self-esteem and self-worth issues - likely caused by the bullying you are getting at home (another reason to leave). So, what can you do about that if you can't get some counseling? Find some workbooks directed at improving self-esteem; preferably ones based on CBT (Cognative behavior Therapy). Look for ones with worksheets. Actually do the work.

I am very much worried about your opinion of your self image. Again, in previous posts you have suggested you are very overweight when in fact you are severely under it. I am deeply concerned you have an eating disorder. This too is a form of mental illness. PLEASE for your emotional and physical health see your family doctor about all these issues. You do not need parental approval for this. Get your school/colege counselor to drive you or make arrangements for this to happen. In most cases community crisis units can help you with this too.

So, 1) look after your pysical health - immediately
2) get the ball rolling and obtain a referral to a mental health professional
3) (are you a young adult?) get out of the house
4) (if you are school aged) go to your school counselor - right now, today - and again explain your need for help and that you face retribution at home for doing so

I'm sure others can add to this. Above all, I wish you luck