Feeling guilty for needing help

I know I talk about a lot of things on here but a lot of the time I won't change or ask for help because I feel guilty for needing someone else's assistance. Like I feel like a terrible person a lot of the time I will carry my emotions alone because I don't want anyone else to feel what I feel or carry it. It's almost like I take full responsibility of others emotions but I neglect my self entirely. I also know that I created my own heartbreak by being the one that sacrifices how I feel for others. I know what I am doing is unhealthy I also know I cannot be happy if I don't take care of my needs and then take care of others. How do I come to terms with my self sacrificing and how do I accept that I too deserve my own help? Do I just slowly feel my emotions and come to terms with how I just came off kilter? Do I need to forgive my self for letting others problems be more important then mine and most importantly do I need to love myself unconditionally and forgive myself for not knowing? It's all a little to hard when you place all your care on others but you refuse to care for yourself almost like it's selfish... I also know what to know where I got this heavily distorted belief. Family friends?

There is no shame in needing help. Give others the chance to support you. They will feel like they did something good.

You are definitely not alone. It is common I'm sure for people to put others and their welfare first while at the same time neglecting themselves and self-care for their own mental health needs. You have come to the realization you are forgetting yourself. Don't worry about what others think. In fact, they may even be relieved you wish to do so.

I know how you feel.. I'm sorry

Keep writing about your feelings on the forum and in a journal on your computer. This is the right place! It feels weird and wrong to ask for help but this is the place. This is why the forum was created.

We are usually programmed during childhood to be these "good" kids and accommodate the needs of various people in the family so if you have a therapist, discuss this very thing with them. I would not bother "going slow" with doing things you like to do or taking care of your needs before others. Boundaries are HEALTHY AND GOOD.

So, how does accommodating the needs of others present in your life? Do you have examples of this? Many of us have a very hard time saying NO. And we find out very quickly who the biggest intruders are when we start developing boundaries for ourselves because they would prefer that we continue to have none. :-)

Big hugs to you. You're gonna be okay! Dig into these realizations you're having. And feel your feelings.

-Lele

I have a very hard time with this also. You are not alone, black-roses.

Yes inner boundaries for me is hard because I think a lot of men would have been interested if I wasn't so easy to influence.... I guess I can't blame myself I was very young and will had a high sex drive lol. I still do but what can you do but learn from your mistakes...

There is a sad story in a song I just listened to ....it goes something like this "I couldn't share the pain and so I suffered". Perhaps you can begin by doing what you've done here....SHARE your pain with others. Sometimes just talking about it helps. The people who love you WANT to help and would be hurt if they knew there was something they could do to help......but they can't help if they don't know. I used to bottle it all up too....it just leaked out in my life and caused bigger problems. Let people help you because you deserve it. It doesn't make you weak to need assistance....it makes you smart for realizing it and brave for asking. (((Hugs)))

It's also not just that I have problems with feeling guilty for getting rid of people that are bad for me... like there the ****s and I am the one that feels guilty wtf I am messed up...

It takes courage to seek help. That is something to be proud of, not guilty over.