[MtnTime2896]

I'll give my family this, at least it took them a while to come around to this train of thought and voice it, this time: You see guys, all of these diagnoses I have are made up. I'm just simply a whiner who has no will to change my life around. I'm just looking for an excuse and a so-called doctor gave me one. I must've really wanted to be labeled all of these things so that I could sabotage my chances for a future in law enforcement and EMS. Yes, I must've really wanted to drop out of school but needed an excuse to do so. I also craved attention because I almost killed myself. If I would've really wanted it, I would've gone through with it. And if I would've gone through with it, I would be the most heartless/selfish prick, like they always knew I was. I'm just selfish, lazy and delusional to my own lie. That's what this is.

Oh, and did I forget to tell you that I can control all of this? Have a flashback, "Mind over matter." Have a depressive episode, "Mind over matter." Have hallucinations, "Mind over matter." Feel like an impending doom is on the horizon, "Mind over matter."

Mind over **** ing matter. That's all I need to do to get "better", because obviously nothing's wrong with me in the first place. If it's not physical, it's not real. I'm just a selfish, attention seeking, self obsessed disappointment that needs to grow up. No wonder I haven't amounted to anything! I just need to be happy when I'm suppose to be happy! That's it, that's what I need! I need to forget about my trauma and "let it go" instead of having nightmares like a three year old!

Oh my god, all of my problems are solved! It's such a mind opener into things I've never thought about! I'm cured, guys! All of my problems are solved! Thank you, thank you so much you ignorant ****s for making me realize that it's all just "in my head" and all I have to do is tell myself it's not real! You're all real life savers, really. Thank you.

It sucks when people don't get it, especially family. But you know it's not true, and absolutely doesn't make you any less of a person if you can't just get over it. The fact that this website exists and has so many members goes to show it's not as simple as mind over matter. If it was we wouldn't need this place.

I'm glad you can feel safe to post and I hope you receive better support here at least. Maybe in time your family might be start to get it, but until then we will be here for you

[LillysMom64]

You know what phrase I really hate? "You need to snap out of it!" "Come on, now, your life isn't so bad. There are others that are worse off" and "Start moving....get out and exercise....you will feel better!" All of these come from my family. They have a way of turning things around and making me feel like my depression and self harm is my fault, that I have some sort of control over it. So....I totally understand where you are coming from. Totally.

[*Laurie*]

I am so sorry. Stigma has long,choking arms. Is there any hope if you gather some good, solid mental health articles, print them out, and give them to family members? Usually the kind of shaming you've experienced comes from ignorance. Education could provide some enlightenment.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

I am so sorry. Stigma has long,choking arms. Is there any hope if you gather some good, solid mental health articles, print them out, and give them to family members? Usually the kind of shaming you've experienced comes from ignorance. Education could provide some enlightenment.

That's something I did a few months back. Didn't make a difference. If anything, it made it worse. According to them, people with mental illness are weak and need to be weeded out of the strong. It's pretty disheartening, to be honest. Even my fiance says my family is ignorant as ****. I recently found out that after I went to the hospital, my fiance did a bunch of research on all of it and learned as much as he could, just so he could help me. I love him for it but it opened my eyes to my family. They all said I needed to grow up and get over it. That they didn't need to learn about a fake illness.

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

...are made up. I'm just simply a whiner who has no will to change my life around. I'm just looking for an excuse .... I could sabotage my chances for a future....it's not real. I'm just a selfish, attention seeking, self obsessed ... needs to grow up. No wonder I haven't amounted to anything! I just need to be happy when I'm suppose to be happy!

Unfortunately, I have heard H say all of the things above to our children that I pulled out of your quote. Won't say what the specific issues were, only that your problems are real and their concerns were legitimate as well.

It is terrible when people disregard others feelings and problems. They think that problems can be solved merely by burying their heads in the sand. I am sorry your family treats you this way.

Part of my serious low self esteem and shame comes from the guilt I feel about the times I allowed H to talk to them this way. I hope that doesn't trigger you. I wish children/teenagers/adults did not have to endure this type of treatment ever!

[MickeyCheeky]

Yeah, that happens a lot... I'm sorry you have to put up with this. Don't give them credit.. they clearly know nothing about how you feel.

[Fuzzybear]

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

That's something I did a few months back. Didn't make a difference. If anything, it made it worse. According to them, people with mental illness are weak and need to be weeded out of the strong. It's pretty disheartening, to be honest. Even my fiance says my family is ignorant as ****. I recently found out that after I went to the hospital, my fiance did a bunch of research on all of it and learned as much as he could, just so he could help me. I love him for it but it opened my eyes to my family. They all said I needed to grow up and get over it. That they didn't need to learn about a fake illness.

Wow. That is really sad. I'm so sorry, Só leigheas. It is very, very hard when you are the scapegoat in your family, when you're the one who points out the sickness in the tribe, and you are rejected because they don't want to take a lighted look at themselves. Behind the ignorance is a lot of fear. Sad, sad.

[rwwff]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

They all said I needed to grow up and get over it. That they didn't need to learn about a fake illness.

In a sense you have grown up... finding a partner that is willing to make a serious effort to understand and be an advocate for you? That's a pretty excellent result.

[PerfectlyImperfect41]

I'm so sorry for your pain. This is the 3rd time I'm reading your thread and I wanted to reply the first time but I was so upset and glad I didn't reply then. Words are very powerful and ones it's said you can't take it back, I know. My family and husband doesn't understand, they are happy people (normal) and here I am struggling with mental disorders.

I'm struggling for almost 4yrs now and still not coping......

Here's a big from me to you.