[Solrock]

So lately I've started being able to get better control of my anxiety. I've realized that I'm actually a stronger person than I previously thought when it comes to handling my emotions. That's really been a positive discovery for me. I haven't felt depressed for about a month now, and I'm starting to enjoy life the way I usually have.

And while I am feeling better, I do feel a tad down and worried about my future. I'm 32, single, no job, no car, living with my parents. Growing up, particularly in my twenties I was terrified this is how I'd end up and I don't want to be.

Mind you, I'm taking steps to take care of my situation. 2017 hasn't even been around that long and I've already applied to about 30 jobs, have had four interviews, and I have my next interview scheduled for tomorrow. It's also not like I've never held a job before. I've had two in the past, the last one being last year. I'm also trying to get out there and meet people. (Hard to do in the cold winter months but I'm trying.) Also, while nothing is set in stone yet, a friend of mine have been in talks of possibly having an apartment in a year or so.

But despite all of this, I feel worried for my future. I sometimes feel like I've had a pathetically slow start. That I'm a loser. That stereotypical basement dweller. It's kind of discouraging.

I sometimes feel like it's way too late to make anything of myself. I honestly expected to be completely independent, have a car, a job, and a wife, and children by this point. On my best days this will make me feel blue. On the worst days, I'll feel like I've just wasted my whole life and that I'll never be anything more than what I am now - which isn't much.

With everything I'm doing to become independent, am I being way too hard on myself? At age 32, do I still have plenty of time to get all the things I want? I feel like I've run out of time 2 years ago, and I don't know if I'm being realistic or not.

A part of me doesn't want to send this. A part of me feels like typing this proves that I'm a pathetic loser. But I'll post it. And again, I have been emotionally better overall. I guess I'm just looking for some assurance that I'm perfectly capable of being a normal adult family guy like many other people are. Instead of being a man-child which I'm sometimes terrified that that's what I'm becoming.

[bornunderabadsign]

I feel you man. I have been out in the wide open world and then back at parents and then back in the world again. As long as you got a heart beat you gotta chance to be and do what ever you want to do.

[Kenyaful74]

Be grateful for the things you do have. Thank goodness that you are able to live with your parents; many people are not so fortunate. While you're there, do what you MUST. PREPARE. Save as much money as you can. No. You aren't a loser. It took a lot of courage to post this and you should be thankful. Thankful for the internet connection it took to even be online. So again, give thanks to God...the universe or whatever you consider your source of inspiration and continue to prepare yourself. Enjoy your youth my dear. Time flies. When you feel discouraged, come back on here and ask for advice, talk to that tiny voice inside your head. I applaud you for being honest with yourself. Keep pushing yourself. You'll get there.

[Solrock]

Oh god, I'm tired. I meant to write that I've been trying to become INDEPENDENT not dependent! Jeez, I look like an idiot. :P

I also want to make something clear, that I don't think I've done in my post, I have ALWAYS wanted to be independent and move out as fast as I possibly could. I do not enjoy being dependent, but it's all I have at the moment.

Way back when I finished college, I graduated with a degree Communications, that you would think would land me high-paying jobs easy, but it has been completely useless - at least where I live. It was also hard at first to find any jobs because literally every single job on every single job board said you had to have at least three years job experience to get a job. I was locked out of getting any employment and it wasn't for lack of trying.

Now, getting a job is a bit easier. (At least getting interviews happens way more often now.) But the important thing I want to say is, I've NEVER had a lack of motivation to be independent. I've always wanted to get out of the family house as fast as I can.

Nor have I ever thought that I can just sit around and I'll magically become independent. I've not been raised thinking that you'll get things without trying.

@OP: I'm older than you, and I don't have anything you mentioned. No car, no job (at the present), no wife, and of course no children. Like you, sometimes I feel my life is over, because looking at my peers from school, I see all of them are married and have children (as old as 7 years old!!), jobs, cars, and even their own houses. I, unlike them, spent my life studying, "preparing" for the future, which hasn't brought me the expected fruits. For example, I probably applied to more than 300 positions in the last 4 months, and got only 3 interviews with no offer. You applied to 30 jobs and got 4 interviews, which is great news. It's never late. Keep going in your path to be independent. You are on the right one.

[spotofbipolar]

Hi Solrock. It sucks about the experience requirement. Could you do some volunteer work to get more experience in your chosen field. Are there any prfiessional associations that might hold seminars that you could attend to network?

It's always hard to break in. Always. But once you are there the sky's the limit. Good luck and post to keep us updated on your journey

[Solrock]

Thanks for the support everyone. I guess 32 isn't that old. But I hope I'll start attaining these things soon. :P

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

Like you, sometimes I feel my life is over, because looking at my peers from school, I see all of them are married and have children (as old as 7 years old!!), jobs, cars, and even their own houses.

I know right? It makes me envious.

Originally Posted by spotofbipolar

It sucks about the experience requirement.

It's not too bad on the experience anymore. Though I question if I'll find a career. I do have a career in mind which I do have the capabilities for, but it's one that's really hard to break into. So needless to say I've been doing a lot of work on that.

[Unrigged64072835]

Sounds like you're on the right track. Don't beat yourself down because of your expectations. Keep going. You're doing fine.