*** Venting ***
***Trigger Warning***

I was having a self-talk and suddenly I realized how angry I am in life. I'm angry at people for not being sociable, although probably I should be angry at myself for being very sensitive, vulnerable, fragile, and immature. I'm angry at the industry because I cannot find a job, although probably I should be angry at myself that I don't have the necessary skills or because I didn't do very well in my last job. I'm angry at my parents because I cannot live my own life my own way, although I probably should be angry at myself that I cannot live independently from them and be free of guilt in not listening to them. But I'm angry at myself in being such a BIG failure in life. I'm angry for not being able to adapt or change to fit at all levels. I'm angry at being angry because it gets me no where, while it disturbs my peace and cause me enormous stress. I see others progress in their careers and in their social lives, while I'm stuck where I am and keep whining. Probably I will have many regrets if I live long enough as someone mentioned because I'm missing on life while being depressed and angry, but I really hope I won't live that long. This life seems pointless, and while I would like to have a family to find some purpose and meaning for me, at the same time, I think it will be a huge mistake and unfair for everyone else in my life.

[Hobbit House]

Sorry you are feeling down on yourself. I thought that a wife and kid would change my life around too when I was younger. She ended up cheating on me and my daughter and I don't have much communication due to her life choices. (Drug and alcohol abuse). I have since remarried and my wife is a wonderful woman and very supportive of me. I guess I'm saying it's out there... but don't force it. Let it come to you when it's ready. You can't force your life to unfold the way you want when you want however you want. You have to wait for it to develop on its own. Hoping for all the best for you. Good luck

[ReptileInYourHead]

Hey mr.stranger

sounds like you are accepting all the blame, and that's not fair. It's not true, it's not all your fault. I think many here understand we are not in total control of our choices or our behaviours.
some of us are guiltnappers, I was one too, and guiltnappers rarely feel peaceful, happy, at ease.
I hope you find a way to purge the guilt you took from other people.
It doesn't belong to you.

[Teddy:)]

All I can say is your post resonated so much, i feel the exact same way, so your not alone!
Thanks for sharing

[MickeyCheeky]

I feel the same way..

I'm sorry you're struggling with this, as well.. keep fighting, I'm sure there's a lot of wort and value in you