Im so sick of this. I'm so tired of being hurt by her and being emotionally put down all the time. She's supposed to be my mother, all she does is hurt me. Im just sad and miserable with her. I wish she could JUST BE NICE. Why… what did I do to her? Why does she hate me. She has lied to me and manipulated me to her ways. I want her to treat me like she does her biological kids. I want things to be okay. But I guess it was never meant to be that way. I guess I deserve this. Thank you guys for listening to this pathetic rant. I'll be okay.

[Skeezyks]

Hi DaX: No... you don't deserve this! And your rant is not pathetic. I obviously don't know why your mother treats you the way she does. And I can certainly understand how you would feel the way you do. But it's important you try, as best you can, to keep in mind this is not your fault. You're doing the best you can... with essentially no support in real life. That's a real accomplishment. Hopefully you can find at least a glimmer of pride in that & carry it with you until you can finally be on you own. And in the meantime, keep coming back here to PC for whatever small amount of support we can offer.

Thank you Skeezyks for always being there for me the moment I joined this forum. I really appreciate that.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DaX15

Im so sick of this. I'm so tired of being hurt by her and being emotionally put down all the time. She's supposed to be my mother, all she does is hurt me. Im just sad and miserable with her. I wish she could JUST BE NICE. Why… what did I do to her? Why does she hate me. She has lied to me and manipulated me to her ways. I want her to treat me like she does her biological kids. I want things to be okay. But I guess it was never meant to be that way. I guess I deserve this. Thank you guys for listening to this pathetic rant. I'll be okay.

Dax you in no way deserve to be treated badly. That is her problem not yours dear. There's one thing I have noticed in life and that's you can't make someone love you....and who would want to? If love is not natural and from the heart I would rather not have it at all. Because what they would be giving is conditional, fake love. But you know as long as you know that, you can look for that real love somewhere else, in someone else. Can I ask how old you are? Male /female? In the USA or not? Why I'm asking this is that you may have to do something that feels your heart with love and get love in return. Like volunteering for the elderly, they feel unloved and that the family has turned their back on them too, or maybe a vets office or humane society if you love animals. Love is such a give and take, you have to get some love in return for whatever you do. But don't get into the habit of doing things for people to make them love you. You are setting yourself up for a lot of heart break doing that. Do you have a counselor?

[ClaireJJJ]

I was once very much like you feel & it does not seem that long past, but there is opportunity for you believe me, there is hope & don't be frighten to ask for help! You will become stronger, just take small steps, don't make them too hard...look for your happiness in music & your inner strength will grow. You are not alone! Love Claire

[Frankbtl]

Hi DaX

I know it's got to hurt, feel real personal when it's aimed at you
But the way I'm seeing it is that it's not personal, it's not your fault, it's a problem she has.
And let's face it she hasn't even/isn't even willing to open her eyes to actually even seeing/knowing the real you........who you actually are.........she has blinded herself to really recognising and cherishing all your good qualities, your strengths, your achievements..........
And that isn't personal if she doesn't even know/isn't prepared to really know you
That is her problem, not yours.

And there's this distinction out there between biological and not biological but..........maybe for some (not all!!) foster/adoptive parents there may be a distinction.........they may act a bit differently...........but even with that in consideration her behaviours towards you are still wrong on every level........adopted or biological shouldn't come into it, there are no excuses...........it's something in her

So I guess, it's about very clearly and matter-factly (as far as you can) putting your points across to her when she "has an issue", trying not to let her sucker you in or provoke you or hurt you in her responses, and "walking away" when you need to.
As I'm sure you know, sometimes the more you say the more she tries to be hurtful or cruel.........try not to let her problems own you though, you deserve so much more than that

I don't know whether some parts of her will ever change........I mean if she can treat a person (you!!) and that's not even taking into account the responsibility/relationship she has with you (!!) the way she does............then........well I can't see any change soon...........
So..........maybe.........this..........and it doesn't need to be religious:
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And I think deep down you know the difference in where she can't change right now
And never forget that some people, like us, will/do see your true value, do care, do want the very best for you

Alison

Originally Posted by Trace14

Dax you in no way deserve to be treated badly. That is her problem not yours dear. There's one thing I have noticed in life and that's you can't make someone love you....and who would want to? If love is not natural and from the heart I would rather not have it at all. Because what they would be giving is conditional, fake love. But you know as long as you know that, you can look for that real love somewhere else, in someone else. Can I ask how old you are? Male /female? In the USA or not? Why I'm asking this is that you may have to do something that feels your heart with love and get love in return. Like volunteering for the elderly, they feel unloved and that the family has turned their back on them too, or maybe a vets office or humane society if you love animals. Love is such a give and take, you have to get some love in return for whatever you do. But don't get into the habit of doing things for people to make them love you. You are setting yourself up for a lot of heart break doing that. Do you have a counselor?

I see your point of not wanting fake love… I never thought of it that way before. And yes your right. I'm 15 year old girl who now lives in the US. Im also homeschooled and I dont have a counselor… My sister actually privately recommended it when I was self harming. But its so expensive aand if my mom ever got ahold of the real reason I was seeing one… Yeah wouldnt be good. Actually I have thought about volunteering but I dont think I will because I'm going to get a job this summer… Thank you so much for your help, its nice to know people care.

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by DaX15

I see your point of not wanting fake love… I never thought of it that way before. And yes your right. I'm 15 year old girl who now lives in the US. Im also homeschooled and I dont have a counselor… My sister actually privately recommended it when I was self harming. But its so expensive aand if my mom ever got ahold of the real reason I was seeing one… Yeah wouldnt be good. Actually I have thought about volunteering but I dont think I will because I'm going to get a job this summer… Thank you so much for your help, its nice to know people care.

Absolutely we care, we are all here for our own reasons. We need to embrace our fellow forum members. Just know your love is valuable and a gift, it is something you can hold within yourself and let it power you on to do great things. Keep that self love strong and taken care of, you have control over that, and if you take care of it doesn't matter about other people. "Only worry over things you have control over" This has been a very important quote for me for a long time. Once I realized that my worrying over something that was not in my control did nothing for me it was easier for me to let it go. What's this summer job? Are you excited about it? Nothing like getting your own paycheck! But manage that money wisely, start saving a little for something in the future, like a car, or new clothes. I'm not real sure what 15 year olds want these days 15 was a long, long, long, time ago for me

Hmm I dont know what job Im getting yet… But yes I guess Im a bit excited. And yes actually Im saving for a car. Again thank you.

[Fuzzybear]

What is stopping you from seeing your family doctor? Check on this. Many locales in the world recognise 14 as the age for making one's own medical decisions. I thus encourage you to call up your - or a - family doctor.

[Bill3]