I'm still angry about getting bullied years ago

When I was going through elementary and middle school, I was bullied very badly. They hit me, they talked about me, and they degraded me. One of the worst things they did to me in my opinion was constantly call me ugly. They called me ugly almost daily and made fun of almost everything about me from my looks to my voice to my mannerisms. I'm still effected to this day by that. I always feel ugly and I have almost no self-confidence. I was assaulted as well on different occasions. The bullying changed me as a person. Before it started, I had a lot of friends in my classes and was talkative. However, the bullying DESTROYED me socially. Ever since then, I've never been the same. I was super quiet and had little to no friends throughout the rest of my school experience. All the things that the normal kids got to do like go to prom and have friends, I never did. Even today, almost 10 years later, I STILL feel the effects from it. I'm not comfortable around people that I don't know and my self-esteem is very low. I have pretty much no friends and most of my school memories are mostly negative. I didn't go to prom like most people did. I didn't have a group of friends like most people did. All I ever wanted was to feel normal but the bullies took that from me. I will NEVER get those years back. When I think about this, it makes me enraged. I hate the people that did this to me. I wish I could physically hurt them. I'm so angry about this. I know this post was long but I needed to vent

Hi. We share the same scars. I ever made one thread discussing about it, here:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/copi...ur-hatred.html

I still enrage when I think about that time honestly, sometimes I even imagine that I made my revenge to them. I still hate them even through I realize that my former bullies has been changed into better person or already hit their own karma.

Currently, I tried to calm myself down with the breathing methods. You can try it too.

Remember one thing. Bullying is all about control and anger. They were controlling you, and they were angry at themselves, and took it out on you.

Knowing that doesn't really help me though. The memories will never go away and I'll never get the years or time back. I want revenge.

I'm really sorry, Shawn..

It's okay. It just makes me so angry that there's nothing I can do about it. They took that valuable time away from me and I can never fix it or relive those years. When I look back on my school years, a lot of my memories are getting bullied and being alone. Even currently I don't really have any friends and my social life is pretty much non-existent. I don't want to live anymore if this is how the rest of my life is going to be.

I can relate to this. I was bullied at school too. I have so much hatred towards the bullies because it took away my childhood. Even now as an adult it still affects me, I have no confidence or self esteem and I blame the bullies..I wish that I could take revenge on them..Something should be done to stop the bullies. My daughter was bullied at school too because she has selective mutism so because she wouldn't talk and was quiet the bullies took advantage of it.

I know it's hard but try and not let them win.

I hate to admit it but they already did win. The kids that bullied me were popular and had lots of friends. There's also virtually no way that I can even get back at them now.

I was bullied in middle and high school and it impacted me in much the same way it did you. I have deep psychological scars from that and it forever changed my personality. There were other traumas as well. I am working with a therapist to process these feelings and traumas because they don't get to win. In my case, karma came around for the instigator. I'd be lying if I said that doesn't make me feel better.

Bullies are angry unhappy people, thus you may have already got your revenge. Stay strong and like yourself, and you will have the last laugh.

Shawn, I am so sorry for you... I know exactly how you feel because I often experienced bullying throughout my school years too.

That's it, bullies are popular and I don't see why. My daughter was bullied terribly so I had to change schools, It got to the point where she didn't want to go to school. I actually went to sort the bullies out but the teacher stopped me. I feel so much anger towards these bullies.

I was bullied as a teen. I was the shy and quiet kid so I got picked on relentlessly. I was even teased in front of one of our teachers, who laughed at me as well. I used to eat lunch by myself and read, pretending that it was a choice. I don't look back on those years fondly.

I found I had to work towards letting the hurt and anger go for my own benefit. It takes time and it's hard, but it's possible. I think that is how you get revenge.

I'm sorry you had to go through it too.

But when does it happen? People always say "It gets better" but it never seems to. I still suffer from the same self-esteem and social problems and the bullying happened almost 10 years ago. I'm virtually friendless and I have no life outside of work. Why did this have to happen to me?

I don't think I can let go of the hurt and anger. It's not fair that I had to go through that and it's not fair that I have to suffer the issues that I suffer through currently because of it. I hate the people who did this to me with all my heart. If hating them is the only revenge I can have against them then I'll take it.

Hating is not revenge though because it only hurts you. It allows them to continue to destroy you all these years later.

I can try to let go of the hate but forgiveness is out of the question. What they did to me can never be forgiven.

I don't think anything is ever going to change. Bullies are always going to exist and no one ever seems to care enough to take any serious measures against it. I just hate that I had to be a victim of it. I can honestly say that it's the worst thing I've been through in my life and many times I have contemplated suicide over it.

I'm disagree with the bolted line. You can't say they win until you see the end. One of my former bullies are indeed still popular until now we graduate in university. But, he end up as laughing stock in his new group rather than "mighty fearsome leader" he used to be. Another one did not proceed to higher secondary school or uni.

Bullying happens to everyone to some degree. No, it does not get better. There is no quick fix. The more chronic aspects of your situation, needs to be addressed through Therapy.

Then why even continue on living if it doesn't get better? I didn't ask to be born a person who would be bullied nor did I ask for the life long problems that will likely happen because of it. I didn't ask for any of this.

If they had said to you back then, "Hey, we're sorry that we treated you that way... Let's be friends." ... Do you think you would still have all this resentment and these feelings of wanting to hurt them back?

Yeah man I understand. People piss me off and sometimes and I just wanna beat the **** out of them but then I dont wanna be bullies like them but thats how I feel. I get really angry at things like this that happened just makes you feel like people dont care. Sorry you had to deal with these people. Im actually kinda mad now.

I was bullied from kindergarten through middle school so I have a pretty good idea what it's like. I was a shy, scared child because of a difficult situation at home and they took advantage of that. I guess I was just an easy target. It got really bad, I went days without talking to anyone, afraid they would hurt me if I drew tattention to myself.
It only changed in college, when I got more self-confidence. I have a few good friends now, but I'm finding it difficult to really trust people again.
An apology from my former bullies would probably help me process, but I'm sure they've forgotten all about it by now...

Maybe because I wouldn't want to be friends with them. The things they did to me were unforgivable. There were days where I was literally scared to come to school. A young child shouldn't have to go through that.