Sad...

Bullies are everywhere.......

I think you are super cool.

Yes, I agree.

What do you mean?

Sorry that you've been bullied, ArtChic.

It seems that everywhere in life there will always be bullies, and that these bullies will always win. It also seems like it's my lot in life to attract bullies to me and for them to enact their bullying ways upon me. I don't understand why. It's happened all my life.

What's worse is when folks gaslight me by saying that I'm not bullied and that it's all in my head. That I've got some skewed perception on life. Or maybe that I'm just saying it as a way to be the center of attention or something. It's happened to me a lot, and even on here a fair amount of times.

I just don't know what to do anymore. What can I do? I feel so utterly like the odds are stacked against me that I don't even want to fight anymore. It's too much of an uphill battle. I just can't muster the strength anymore. I'm just too god damn tired. I can't....I just can't anymore....

Thanks. Even though I don't really know you, and you're kind of new around here, I think you're super cool too.

Yes bullies are everywhere. But why do you care ? Are you being personally attacked ? Physically ? Emotionally ?
Do you have to respond ?
Can you walk away ? Can you learn how to stick up for yourself ?
I know it's hard to try and disregard all the ******** out there but you
better learn to or you will be beaten down.
You can beat THEM by not succumbing to their tactics.
Learn how.

They personally attack me. They call me out and say they aren't bullying me, that they are "only reacting to the bullshyte I say". No matter what I say, they retort with nasty, mean insults. I can't ignore that. I impulsively jump on them to defend my honor. I have impulse control issues, I know and understand that. I just don't know what to do about them. People say "Stop behaving that way." Well, it's easier said than done. How does one stop the impulses? How? I want plan set in motion when my face goes red and my teeth begin to grit and I react. I don't think, I react.

Some say that the instinct to fight, instead of flee is due in part to the warrior gene. I've never actually been genetically tested for it, but I'm 99% sure I have it. My dad is the same way. We react, instead of step back and cool off. The urge is a very powerful one indeed. How does one overcome this super powerful gut reaction?

I would write words to you......it is only my opinion....and please if you could help...by reading beyond the surface of my words...if possible....to read the source of meaning...

I have a brain injury.....my response to anything...is slower...as time has accumulated...I have learned...response experience...in some matters I am no longer as slow.....yet in the beginning of my recovery....I was often frozen in my mind....beyond processing a response...there were people in my life...who took advantage of that....with certain amounts of gleeful fervor....escalating into physical abuse.....

One of my therapists at the time....had me write on little pieces of paper...certain responses...and carry them with me all the time....to pull out and read from them......You I am sure are quite beyond that stage of slow....yet there was a factor in writing them down....that I would often...copy over and over the response chosen for a certain reoccurring instance....it helped me to pull it into my mind....

I also had them written and pasted on the mirror or other spots around my home....where I could see them....it entered my mind/brain in a way that I slowly was able to respond in the moment of instance.....and trial and error of what worked...to stop the escalation......

One person would choose very public places to suddenly go off and verbally humiliate me....in such a way that others became uncomfortable....I do not think they agreed....it is just they too did not know how to respond....there were two instances....with that person.....One response....we had arrived in the same vehicle...I had the keys....I spoke calmly....saying....I do not accept your words....and have no desire to be anywhere near you...so I think you can find someone here among your friends to give you a ride home.....and I left....they had to find a ride home...and it was repeated about why they were left....I refused the gift of humiliation and gave it back....another instance in a very public place....at the end of the attempted humiliation.....in the silence that descended....I just began to applaud....that turned all heads from me back to them....and the humiliation attempted to be served was now only held by them....they did not know how to respond either....

These are only examples from my living....it is the meaning...that there is never just one way to respond....there is the patterned behavior we all have....as the method by which we cope....there is safety...or a sense of security...in what is familiar....yet as beings with wisdom....if it is not working for us...we can recognize and search for something else.....

I had a friend who went to prison....he was not a big burly fellow....and I was afraid for him....he told me that he was attacked repeatedly....his method...in that situation was that he ALWAYS fought back...he never surrendered....he fought...he said he was still attacked and beaten yet he always fought and after a while...they quit attacking him....

That may not be the way for your situation....it is different for all....You seem to be aware of your emotions in the situation rising....in contemplation....or with a therapist...it is possible...to find and try different responses....that give different outcomes......I know that we can not change other people....we can only change ourselves....and often changing how WE respond to situations...can then in turn inadvertently have the effect of bringing change to others....yet it is only in the way that WE change first.....

It goes without saying...it is not easy....habitual patterns in anything are very difficult to change...and often horribly frightening...that sense of going out of what is our control....

I am very sorry you are on the receiving end of bullying...I have seen horses and with chickens...once they are picked on....they are targeted....in the case of horses...the abused one we gave hormone shots to.....that shifted the behavior of the horse...and the others left it alone....again...the horse changed it's behavior....the chickens it happened to....usually did not survive....

Okay....I may have shared more than you cared to have arrive at you....yet my hope in the reading...there may be some measure that rises and speaks to something within you...that could give you an avenue to ponder that may bring you to peace....

Bullying is all about control. Using accusations, and "YOU" this and that, is a way for them to dump their anger on one. Bullying is all about anger and control.

Hi. I've read some of your posts before. You have such a wonderful way with words. I'm sorry you've been bullied too. Bullies seem to find any difference that might bring insecurity in another person and zero in on it when they bully. It's how bullying works.

I appreciate your kind words though. I understood you completely. You spoke with your heart, and that will always be understood.

I'm pretty sure that I have the warrior gene as well. If somebody tries to bully me or somebody that I care about, I have an urge to lure them into an isolated area with no witnesses and beat them to an inch of their life or ambush them when they least expect me or whatever.

Literally the only thing that keeps me in check is a healthy fear or prison but even then it is sometimes difficult for me to control myself when this world is full of ****** people.

All I can really say is that it's wise for people like us to avoid the scum of humanity because if we don't, people wind up hurt and we wind up in trouble.

Avoid these people like the plague because you're too good to be dragged down by the likes of them.

Even if it IS just in your head or physically it doesn't matter because, regardless to how it's happening YOU still feel the pain. Sometimes saying less to the bully is better. I like to kill people with kindness, if I am able to unfreeze myself when something happens... (rarely)

I liked the ideas @mc2ed talked about. Especially about learning the best responses for the situations. That way you can plan what you say to get the upper hand. Or maybe you could say something then just turn and walkaway. It's hard to learn something new because it feels like it takes soooo long! But, in the end, even if you mess up a few times, will be something great or at least better