Why is everyone such an idiot?

So we got a new condo trustee. He was elected with two other women and they both quit so now... it is just him. He is a grade A "mansplainer". I cannot stand him.

He called a meeting to discuss proposals (his dumb proposals) and when I went I asked questions and his response was... well I haven't worked that all out now. Err.. then why did you call a meeting to discuss it.. and oh btw.. what discussion? If discussion is called mansplaining. Because all my questions that I asked he had no answers to but kept explaining his plan over and over again as if we didn't understand.

But last night he really peeved me off. I got home and got a phone call from my sister and during the course of it was changing my clothing. The door bell rang. I couldn't go I was on the phone and naked. Then I get a call from him and he leaves no message.

Later a get s chastising e-mail from him where:

(1) he states he called me twice and he came to my house twice. You are correct sir.. you called me but DIDN"T LEAVE A MESSAGE and you came to my house twice once when I was at work and once one second after returning and gave zero notice. You didn't even let me know that there was any issue with my maintenance report.

(2) I put in a maintenance request that the gutters might have an issue because in rain storms there is a waterfall effect so it seems like they are not draining. First, he chastises me because he can't tell "where the problem is" err, find my UNIT and look up in to the gutters... it really isn't that hard. And second he states... mainspalining again... please keep in mind that in heavy rain storms some water can come over the sides of the gutter.

WHAT? Wait why didn't you tell me? It is a great help that you told me that because I have only been living on this planet for 5 days! Wow that solves everything.

Nice try mainsplaining moron but I know there is a problem because one side of my house gets a larger "waterfall" on the left screen than the other.

What an idiot. I don't want to do this but right now.. because no one else wants to be on the board with this idiot... I could join the board without an election. My plan would be just to make life miserable for him. Everything he would want to do would be voted down.

But I wonder if it might just be easier to move.

Just frustrated why are people such crass know it all impolite boors.

What a moron! He called you twice and showed unexpectedly. Gee. What were you supposed to do? How annoying

I just don't understand why people can't be polite anymore. It is not polite to just drop in 5 minutes after someone arrives home from work unexpectedly. The only other time this happened to me I had a similar bad reaction.. I had just gotten home and we had an appointment for 7 PM certain neighbors saw that I got home and just came over. I said to them... it is 7? They said, err no, I said, well I will be ready at 7 and they got all upset.

Why? We said 7. I wasn't even changed yet.

This same idiot had wanted us to turn over our keys to him. I had been ok with that but after seeing the careless way he acts.. no way.

You hit the nail on the head by wondering whether to move on. There are too many jerks only too willing to yank your chain. Sounds like this jerk likes grandstanding and pretending how important he is, so don't give him cause to build his inflated ego up more than it is. There is always somebody who will knock him down a few pegs. He's not worth your time nor your attention. Treat yourself and forget him. Good luck.

Anybody who knows me well enough knows better than to drop by unannounced.

If it isn't a freaking emergency than people need to use discretion when coming by my place. If they won't be considerate of my time and my space, than I let them know in a not so nice way that they are being selfish and annoying.

It all boils down to respect: if people can't respect you, why should you respect them in return? Respect is earned, not given. If people have a problem with that, I will gladly show these bastards the door

my suggestion is check your lease. if the lease says they have the right to enter the property/ rental unit for emergencies (ie anything that left for later can cause damage to the property/ rental unit such as broken/leaking/ overflowing of pipes, plumbing, faucets, gutters overflowing....) then he most likely did not have to even give you those phone calls and didnt have to leave a message. when it says in leases that the owners, managers and maintaining departments can enter in cases of emergencies its just a courtesy not a requirement that they give notice. most rental leases do now contain this emergency clause.

another suggestion instead of just handing in a repair report maybe hand in a note attached of when you will be available for them to enter to do the repair work. then mark those days and times on your calendar so that you dont forget you have set aside those days and times for possible repair work to be done. this way you will not be caught unaware and naked when they come to do repairs.

I know you were trying to help but now your being one. I have a condo. Thus the condo trustee. Thus a lease has nothing to do with it. Where are you getting the emergency? It was gutters on the outside of my condo. He doesn't need me home at all for that. He was only contacted me because, he is clearly an idiot, and couldn't apparently find the "exact spot" err... I don't know any better than you. When it is raining I am INSIDE. You just see a waterfall effect outside your windows as the water doesn't drain.

Lets be real.. he only contacted me as a way of pushing off my maintenance request. If he was SERIOUS about taking care of the condo and not making excuses he would have just checked the gutters above my unit. But he was too lazy for that and wanted to avoid doing so.

Absolutely. He has zero respect for me or (I am guessing) any woman.

I am just not opening my door ever again for him. I will have to go to the annual meeting to vote against his stupid plans for this condo.. which are stupid.

Interestingly.. he had objected to my report that I had issues in my front gutter and perhaps he is correct... but, I noticed today that I am the ONLY person in the building with like muddy dirt on top of my basement window cover... which to me.. looks like someone cleaned dirt out of the gutters above it... and dropped it there... so I think the evidence is right there that they did clean it out and will try to pretend like there was never a problem.

Because I am not them.

I am Native American and live on our reservation. On this and every other reservation I've ever been on, there are what are called 'rez dogs' that roam the reservation. Usually these are dogs that have been abandoned, run off, etc., and are half pets/half wild. Most of them are tame enough to take the latter half of your hot dog and give you a nuzzle and a lick for your troubles, but that same dog, if you make a threatening gesture or raise your voice, will be more than happy to feast on your arm. In other words, treat them nicely and they will treat you nicely back. Treat them mean and they will respond in kind.

Grandpa used to always tell me, "You are human. Aspire to be more than a rez dog." In other words, as humans, we have the choice to rise above our instincts and treat rude, boorish people with the kindness and consideration we wish they would show us.

I don't blame you for your reaction to this person. I probably would feel the same way. That said, I'd probably choose a different path than trying to make an obviously miserable person's life more miserable.

Great post yagr.

But that is you.

In my view.. if some people can't understand respect, they have to learn. I am doing a public service.

In your experience, have you had good success teaching others respect?

In my experience, if somebody is being rude to you and not respecting your space, feelings, or you as a person and asking them nicely doesn't solve things and avoiding them isn't an option, then telling them in a not so nice way so they get the hint that they're crossing a line is the only viable alternative.

I used to be a very naive kid who let people walk all over him because I was too afraid to stand up to people. Me being that way has caused me more pain than I care to admit. When I finally had enough and grew a pair and made it clear that I'm not a soft target who can be so easily messed with anymore, people finally learned to give me my space and leave me the hell alone because I meant business.

Sometimes, one needs to take a stand and be bold in life to get their needs met.

Are you able to contact the other condo owners prior to the meeting? This may ensure you have a quorum for the meeting. Is there such a thing as voting by proxy so as you can garner the votes of those who will be absent? There ought to be a provision in the Board's constitution for adding items to the meeting Agenda. This will ensure that this 'New Business' will be dealt with which gives opportunity to make a motion and - if a quorum is present - pass it for action (I am assuming meetings are properly operated as per standard rules of order). Msg me if you require information on how to do this.

I used to actually be a trustee and frankly can be again if I want to. I moved here thinking that a small condo would be much better run than a large condo. But it is the opposite. When I joined the board there were a couple of decent trustees.. but i just could not get them off a loop of the things there were passionate about. That I wasn't. Still I had a year or so run that I was proud of.

But with a small condo with poor founding documents that no one cared to update (or usually read) people just do what they want.

I have looked it up and in this state condos can do almost anything. Suing them for not complying with the rules and regs you have to have damages.

Our meeting isn't until November but I suspect his ideas will go down to defeat if he even puts them forward. One of his massive ideas was a rewrite of several bylaws -- one resident raised her hand and goes.. how much would the legal fees be. He goes.. oh like 600 or something. I burst out laughing... that would be 10 K if it was anything. The property manager had to pop up and say that it would be much much more. That seemed to end the matter.

i also need to be asked if i am going to have someone over and want the day and time. i will be starting distance school in sept so i don't need anyone knocking at my door for minor stuff. when i first got married 22 years ago the whole family of my husbands came over on a Saturday at 10 oclock in the morning and i was still in my pjs and half asleep. i blew a gasket on them. I don't mind his family but i don't get up that early on Saturdays.

Yes, I need advance warning too. Ironically, I keep my place clean and always dress early for just in case someone does decide to pop over.

Been there. My sister came over once without warning with the entire family. It was a Saturday so I had worked the entire week. The place wasn't that messy but my toilets had gone for a while without a good cleaning.

I figured they wouldn't be going there but they lazed around. My newphew (7) went to the bathroom and comes out and goes... Um... someone needs to clean the toilet.

I was mortified. I had ZERO notice they were coming over.. I do not have time to clean all week on the off chance they will drop over.

And that is why my nephew and I will never be close. Thanks sis.

OUCH!

I am always afraid of the state of my bathroom. I even worry about the garbage can. I set out hand towels for guests yet I find them dry and my own towels wet after they leave. It disgusts me.

For a week now my living room has had my camping equipment strewn across the floor. This so as to inventory it and add to as needed before my holiday. I admit I possess a great deal of it and it takes up most of the space I could have kicked my son who came over and told me I must be a hoarder. Boot.