Nonexistence

Does anybody get chills at the thought of dying and just everything being over? All my life I never thought about death this way, but I noticed that ever since I started taking an antidepressant(Wellbutrin), suddenly I started having these thoughts. It is like wall was torn down and I suddenly see something that was previously hidden. And I find myself attracted to these thoughts for some reason. Like a person on a cliff who feels tempted to look down but then becomes terrified when they do.

But could this be the normal way of thinking about death? Was my previous state of not thinking about it this way the abnormal one?

I think most people, at some point in their lives, are faced with thoughts of death. I don't see anything abnormal about your thoughts either way.

I would run it by your doctor. It is well known that SSRIs can cause such thoughts and I believe you are supposed to tell your doctor.

I've read that SSRIs sometimes cause suicidal thoughts, but this is actually the opposite: I am more afraid of death than I ever was. Before now, I had never fully grasped the concept of not existing anymore.

I'd talk to your doctor just in case.

I don't think about my own death much. When I am dead I won't know any different. The only thing I worry about is how hard it would be on others.

But I am scared of other people dying. It's getting worse lately. I unexpectedly lost my son in law last year and it messed all of us up. I pretty much fear losing people all the time. Talk to your therapist, see what she says

Wellbutrin may be making feel like you are dead, thus the thought. As said above, see your doctor about this.

Sorry to hear about your son in law.

Yeah the same thing applies to other people for me too. Basically the way I see death in general has changed.

In the past when I thought about death, it was mainly about the dying part, like what I would feel as I am dying. If there would be no pain, I saw dying as something not that scary. In fact, in times when I've been really depressed I've thought that if not for it effecting my loved ones, I would actually like to be dead. I saw death as being at peace, as escaping everything bad that I had to deal with. But now suddenly the idea of permanently losing consciousness and ceasing to exist is terrifying.

Actually it seems like the opposite. It's as if before, I was dead and that's why dying wasn't as scary, but now I actually feel alive so dying is more scary.

Thank you. I mentioned death of my son in law few times on here. But no one said anything ever. I appreciate your words.

I think these thoughts of death kind of come and go in life. I think it's normal as long as it doesn't become obsessive

What do you think fuels some of my obsessions?

Yes, I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of being powerless and forgotten by humanity. I'm scared of being just one of billions of people in the world who have been forever silenced.

Some might call me crazy, but I'm well convinced that in 30-40 years, the aging process might be able to be halted or even become reversible. If the aging process can't be reversed biologically, than I am convinced that it will be possible to implant people with cybernetic augmentations to circumvent their biological weaknesses (aging, disease, physical limitations, ETC), or even lock people's consciousness into computers so that they can live on forever in a digital world.

I'm not the only one who things this is possible. Look up something called Transhumanism. There is a whole movement of innovative people investing time and resources to make such things possible. Additionally, look up a term called "posthuman" and look up the biohacking movement.

These things give me some kind of hope that death is just another disease like cancer that can either be cured or circumvented somehow. If you're like me and can't have any hope or faith in any type of religion, than having hope in the innovation of humanity is a viable alternative. After all, you're still young so the probability of you living long enough to see some of these innovations happen is extremely high.

This is where I put my faith in because it is something that I can understand since I don't do spiritual stuff and I suck with emotions, but I excel with technology related stuff. If something like this doesn't happen, than at least I lived my life in a beautiful fantasy and didn't have to face the pain that is reality.

Luckily, there are plenty of extremely intelligent and educated people that think these things are not only possible but probable. I only hope that I can either become intelligent enough to benefit them or make enough money to be able to help fund their innovations.

i like this topic its dark complex emotions too much feeling and passion. what is it like not breathing dead in heaven or hell...i rarely express have not that much insight but i know this area a little bit...we need a space for otherkin or alien not really sure what to call it....sometimes just being feeling really stuck in life makes me think about the life as death...boredum sometimes can get us speaking on this ...maybe too many movies i dont know but it is real as can be just probably wont get the best appaulds i think it shows our brilliance and bravery.