Feeling Hurt on Social Media

Seems I'm always offending people or just in their way. Even on social media I feel rejected. I don't post on or check FB often as it is. Now whenever I check it I just get more depressed.

One acquaintance seemed angry with me after the holidays. I and another person commented on one of her posts. She liked and replied to the other person's comment but ignored mine. A few weeks later, I discovered she sent me some PM's during the holidays, so I "liked" them. I don't know yet if this has appeased her. I've sent PM's to people before and haven't gotten replies, but that doesn't change my attitude toward those people.

Also, a relative asked a question in a post recently and had lots of responses. I also shared. Then, the relative made a snide comment below mine and asked something like, "are you just a rebel?" I noticed then that all of the previous responses were dated on the previous day, so I guess he was telling me it was too late to take part. So sorry for sharing.

I noticed one friend was kind of snippy with me after I commented on some of her posts about the weather. A few days later, I realized it had been her B-day the last day I posted, so I sent her a belated B-day message which she thanked me for. But, the next time I was on FB there was a post, supposedly from FB that listed friends who were a good influence and those who were a bad influence, or something like that. My name appeared in the "bad" column. Another friend of hers whose name appeared in the "bad" column told her that was hurtful. She assured that person it didn't mean anything; she just wanted someone else, whose name was in the "good" column to see it. I didn't comment on it, but it really made me cry. I was already depressed, and it made me even more depressed. If she wanted only one person to see it, she could have changed the setting to allow only that person to view the post. How could someone not know that it would be hurtful to others? FB was very wrong to think something like that would be "fun" for everyone.

I don't have any close friends to begin with. Even on social media, I feel I'm better off just keeping to myself. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Facebook is a waste of time. You'd be better off using Meetup. At least with Meetup, you can join groups where you can get connected with people for real meetings. Facebook may be a good waste of time, occasionally, but unless you use it to gain friends, I just hate it.

Well... yes... perhaps you are too sensitive? I know I am too. I don't have any friends... period (by choice.) I'm not on FB or Twitter or any of those sorts of things. And even here on PC, I rarely post my own threads. Plus... I don't subscribe to the threads I reply to. So if another member comments on one of my replies (which happens occasionally) chances are I won't see it. It's what I've come to understand is necessary in order to be able to do what I want to do here on PC. So I guess my opinion is you have to figure out what you can & cannot tolerate, what will & won't work for you, & act accordingly.

The internet can be a difficult place to be. Some people are just downright nasty. Sometimes people just don't consider others' feelings. Plus... all you have to go on is the "written" word, without any of the additional cues (facial expression, vocal inflection, etc.) we normally have in a face-to-face conversation. So it's easy for the person who's writing to phrase things in such a way that it sounds hurtful when it's not intended to be. And it's equally easy for the person who's reading what someone else wrote to misinterpret & be hurt, when no such harm was intended. The internet can be a tough place to survive for those of us who are over sensitive.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of caring for yourself when you're a highly sensitive person. Perhaps some of the information in them may be of help:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-se...om-negativity/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-m...sitive-person/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...sitive-person/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/weigh...ing-self-care/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/naviga...sitive-person/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/emoti...-of-self-care/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...sitive-person/

I wish you well...

I understand your feelings.... my wife and I don’t use social media for just that reason!

I could rant for days about how bad Facebook truly is for emotional and mental health but I'll save that soapbox rant for other day. I don't want to come off sounding like the Unabomber manifesto or something

All I know if this its best to stay away from social media in general. I cut out Facebook completely back in December and ya know what all my true friends still remain in contact by calling me or stopping by which is about two. Where as Facebook say's I have 200 and sum friends. Big difference.

I dumped Facebook about five years. Every once in a while I want to go back to see how people are doing...because they don't communicate to me otherwise (that includes family!)...but honestly, I'm glad I'm off. I know I was easily offended by what people said, or didn't say, or if they ignored my friend request. I was surprised how many people didn't remember me either, but could easily remember my mom and brother. It hurt too much. I can do without it. Yeah...I'm oversensitive too.

It's really difficult trying to navigate situations like that on sites that are all about quick responses and actions. Do you think you might be able to compartmentalize a little, if you can't at this time remove yourself from FB, for example ? Could you put on " snooze " those who tend to push certain buttons ? Maybe join a group or two that don't include anyone of your friends list and that are about things you like and/or care about ? Maybe take a break from communicating with people who know you/you know, unless necessary.

I can't deal with facebook and don't use it anymore except occasionally if I want to look someone up. It would not be good for my mental health.

I’ve posted on Facebook about my weight loss. A lot of my Facebook friends post similar stuff.

I also like to review food. Either nostalgic foods from the 90’s- early 2,000s that have made a comeback, or some other kind of food. A lot of it isn’t very healthy.

There was one person who would comment stuff like “you just got skinny! Don’t go overboard!” Or, don’t eat any cookies.” And one time she said “moderation!”

It really pissed off one of my friends who I am close to. The person who commented those things, I’ve met maybe 3 times. My friend verbally attacked this person on the same posts.

Needless to say, I haven’t had any more issues.

I am incredibly careful on Facebook. I use my first and middle name only, I only friend and accept friend requests from people who I like and have had an actual conversation with. My settings are as private as they could possibly be. And I have a TON of people blocked.

That sucks feeling that way but I think you're only giving half the story. I'm not seeing anything where you say what you said specifically in any of your examples. People don't get angry just bc you're talking. It's the content of what ur saying. My advice would be to go back look at what you said in each instance and instead of thinking about how your reaction made you feel, think about how your comment made them feel. Step in their shoes. What kind of stuff did you say to warrant those reactions? It's not just happening bc the world is against you. You feel sad bc of what someone said to you? Well they most likely didn't just say it to say it. It's important for everyone to have insight into their own behavior. Once you know how what you're saying or when your saying it is affecting your audience, then you'll know why they say what they do. I'm not saying this as an attack at all. I just believe it to be real advice to make change that won't leave you so sad.

Tbh the problem seems to be your relatives, not really Facebook itself Have you tried speaking to them about this? How do they behave towards you in real life?

A good and bad friend column? I fail to see what positive outcome could come from that, that really sounds very immature and self centred.

Maybe try disabling facebook for a while and see how you do, if you feel it's helped you could delete your account. You'd be right on trend if you did, facebook are losing a lot of people apparently.

I saw that good influence/bad influence app/post on my own feed. I bit, I-myself and my father of all people landed in the bad influence column. I didn't bother sharing. I tend to block must crud like that completely off my feed.
I'm not fond of the site, but do understand what I use it for. Once I accepted to use it, I've spent time making self care adjustments. I did walk away from it for a couple of years. It can be enlightening and disappointing all at the same time.

I have had no desire to get involved with FB. I have heard too many bad things about it.

I've deleted my facebook account a zillion times, but keep bouncing back like a yoyo. Last time I deleted it was when trump got elected. I only miss it because it's the only place my relatives post. I recently tried to create my fb account again but wow it's changed. Security beefed up like crazy. After create my account I didn't friend anyone in my family for awhile and so then suddenly fb said they think I'm not the real person and they killed my account. So it seems you now need to quickly add friends to a new fb account or they'll kill it. That was upsetting. Made me feel like a bad person even though I did nothing wrong.

I haven't seen that particular relative in more than 20 years. That part of the family is much closer to my sister.

I do like being able to re-connect with relatives and friends I haven't seen in years, or only heard from once or 2x per year. I've been staying away from FB for longer periods of time, but like to check now and then to see how everyone's doing.

I have written before my rather negative views on social media. I limit my time on Facebook or other social media and am rather choosy when it comes to selecting those I am in contact with. Perhaps I missed it in other posts but I have to ask: are these contacts people you actually know and are close to in real life? I include family as sometimes they can be distant enough to not really know them at all. Be careful of falling into the trap of mistaking an internet acquaintance for being the real thing. My recommendation is to learn not to rely upon the internet and social outlets. They are no substitute for the real thing.