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#326
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I’m coping with anger, humiliation, boredom, insult, and hopelessness. I’m not fighting or making a scene. I’m not self harming. I’m not crying hysterically. I’m by myself for now and a little teary. I’ll pull it together in a bit for the evening activity with the family.
My husband and I are incompatible and are staying together. I made my bed and I’ll lie in it. I’m trying to enjoy seeing my kids. I’m trying to not dwell on the rift from the rest of my family.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
#327
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deeply depressed for much of the day, very little accomplished too.
was hot this afternoon so had to open my window to let in some cold air from outside (and some rain). I guess that was nice. nice because it was some fresh air without actually being outside but yeah.... nothing special about today |
#328
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I am coping badly,I have a serious cold and runny nose,eyes and bad chest,coughing,headaches.I feel lots of negative emotions and I feel isolated.
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![]() Anonymous32451, Open Eyes
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#329
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yesterday I wanted to self harm (I didn't, despite having access to what I wanted), I ended up watching some comedy show on tv and forgot about it
today those thoughts are even stronger (and I'm still near the item in question). I've so far watched a christmas movie and a programme about the ambulance, but it's not really making a diffrence to how I feel. tonight I'm having my roast dinner like usual, then probably like usual go back to my room and do nothing. again today isn't really my day (hasn't been my day for ages) |
#330
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Today was a better day,though tonight I am a little depressed and quite tired.
I still have the common cold to get rid of. |
#331
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roast dinner didn't fill me up- and actually seemed pointless having it as I was so hungry afterwards
I was also in a lot of chrronic pain last night so could not find a good position. I didn't do much for the rest of the night and of course didn't sleep, so was extra long and boring so far today I am feeling freaked out- well not really freaked out, a little agitated because I had to answer some questions for a form and some of the questions (2 of them?) were quite personal and I wasn't impressed with it but I did it and it's over but now I'm sitting here thinking... wow, those were draining I hate questions at the best of times- and especially personal ones |
#332
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The time seems to be flying past and I'm not getting things done fast enough. I have a lot to do. Actually some things will have to wait until tomorrow, when I still won't have time for them, so they will have to wait until another day. I never understand how other people seem to always have plenty of time, they even have time to be bored! What is that?!
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#333
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Yes I am doing well today.I am getting over this chest cold that I had.I am feeling positive.I am looking forward to every day.I am happy with my decision to cut my narc mother and sister out of my life,freedom from violence and abuse,at last!Peace and harmony.
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#334
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I can’t really tell if stuff bothers me or not. I feel like I’m adapting pretty well. But maybe I’m just ignoring the fact that it bothers me and I’m just pushing my feelings away. I used to have a great relationship with all the mangers at work and I communicated great with them. Now half of them are gone and I don’t talk to the new ones. But maybe I don’t really need to? A lot of my favorite coworkers are gone and I say it doesn’t bother me but maybe it really does. Or maybe I’m just totally ok with the new ones. I really can’t tell what I’m feeling or how I’m coping.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
#335
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I can't believe that on saturday it's the first of december.
despite looking forward to some parts of christmas (and wanting a few decorations in my bedroom), I am really not in the christmas spirit- in fact I feel more like a screwdge (baa humbug and stuff), but deep down I know I'm not that- it's just because I've been really struggling with motivation and stuff. I still need to figure out what I'm doing for dinner tonight as someone needs to come out and fix the oven (probably takeout), but I've not had a takeout this week yet so that will be nice |
#336
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Fine. I’ll get out of the house today maybe. I’m feeling good. Thinking about the falling out with my family, especially my parents, but won’t do anything about it. Let it go!
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
#337
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I had a good day today,my niece caught the train up from university in London,especially to see me,we saw the film,Assassination Nation which was a powerful statement on sex and violence.We ate at the pub and had dessert at Deserts.We had fun we were laughing and joking.I love her so much ,the day with her made me very happy,I really enjoyed myself and am going to relax the rest of the week.Yes I coped well today and am content.
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#338
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I don’t think I’m coping well at all. But I’m still managing to get to work 5 days a week, and stay there, and work really hard. But I have gotten sick every week for the past 3 weeks. 3 weeks ago I had a small cold, last week I had a stomach bug, and now I have some sinus problems. The same thing happened last year. I think because I’m not a teenager anymore my stress is causing my immune system to get compromised and it’s causing me to get legit physically sick. I see both my P doctor and my therapist next week. Maybe they can help me figure out how to manage my stress.
__________________
"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
#339
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Working part time and trying to be humble as much as possible on my daily commute. Not sleeping so well. Trying to adjust... Going to bed earlier.
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#340
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suicidal and irritable
one of those times where you clearly have a lot of things going on (or in my case, bad thoughts), and not enough people to listen. I did do something productive though. I actually fitted my new drawers in my room (the old ones were broken so I had to replace them), it was hard work and even harder work plugging everything back in, but it's done now and I don't have to worry about doing it again (hopefully) these ones are smaller and hopefully more sturdy |
#341
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today I had my shower (and as I predicted, felt gross afterwards)
then I had to order all my shopping- not the best of things to do, but it's gotta be done. and now I have the rest of the day to act like a coutch potato (so just normal and that) suicidal feelings still their- and lots of depression, but feel slightly better today.. given it's friday, and tomorrow (saturday the 1st), I get to open my advent calendar for the first time I can't believe it's 25 days until christmas day but it is |
#342
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Very well today. Everything went fine.
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![]() Anonymous32451
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#343
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" everything went fine" mind sending me a bit of that |
#344
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today I snapped at someone.
they were talking to me about something that they thought I was looking forward to and I just snapped at them. I think they were quite shocked by it- I'm like no, I didn't enjoy it, I'm not well.. and yes, I'm really still not well- and very suicidal still. I opened my advent calendar today and had a chocolate soldier behind the door a chocolate soldier? what the **** does a ****ing soldier have to do with christmas all I'm saying on that now just listening to christmas music and feeling low |
#345
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I feel low today and lonely....no one to talk to all day,all alone at home.Realised I only have enough taxi fare to go to my therapy session this Monday but no money to go next Monday!Unless that is I don't go anywhere else next week,which isn't happening,I can't be stuck indoors with no one to see or talk to for 7 whole days!
I am coping today by being online and watching tv. |
#346
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Very well considering how late I got up! But I didn't have loads to do, and I managed to organise what I did have to do.
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#347
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I feel pretty discouraged this morning. I keep trying to get my stuff organized, but I look around and it all feels so overwhelming. So more stuff accumulates, etc.
I've actually had this goal for > 10 years but have never come anywhere near attaining it. |
#348
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I'm glad you're doing great. I'm not. Hope I do too.
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#349
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mostly a slow day with very little to do.
depression a bit better- actually for the first time in the past few days, I only thought about suicide for like an hour had quite a nice evening too- food wasn't anything to write home about, but mood wise was good |
#350
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I started my new book yesterday- first thoughts.. am I stuck with this **** for the next however long it will take me to read it?. I don't like what I read so far
sleep didn't happen again though I knew it wouldn't mood was okay, but not really a productive day (not really anything I needed to do, but managed to fill the time). nothing special is what I'm saying an average start to the week |
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