Guilt

Greetings all -- I'm new here and glad I found these forums. I'm dealing with a guilt/grief issue. On Monday evening, my daughter was driving in the pouring rain and found a kitten walking across the road. She brought it home. We have a cat and 2 dogs already and my husband is allergic to cats. He agreed to keep the cat for a few days until we could find a home for it or tie it to the shelter. We couldn't find anyone reliable to take the cat, so we took the kitten to the shelter. They told us that they would examine it to determine age and adoptability, but if it wasn't adoptable or wouldn't thrive at the shelter, they would euthanize it. They shelter staff told me that I couldn't come get the kitten if they were going to euthanize it, but I was confident that the cat would be okay. I called today to find out what happened to the kitten. After jumping through some hoops, I learned that the kitten was 28 days old and because it needed to be fed every 4 hours, it wouldn't have survived because the shelter isn't manned around the clock. Otherwise the kitten was healthy, but they euthanized it. I had the choice not to take it to the shelter and now I feel like I murdered that kitten. I thought I was doing the right thing, that this would give the little thing the chance at a good home since we couldn't keep it long term. My daughter told me she now wishes she had never rescued it from the street. I feel so guilty....

Hello Fan: Welcome to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you had this disturbing experience. From what you wrote, it seems to me the fault here lies with the shelter & their lack of flexibility. I see absolutely no reason why you should not have been given the option of coming back for the kitten if the shelter determined they could not care for it.

I hope that, with time, you will be able to let your grief & guilt regarding this go. I know how this sort of thing can eat at you. Here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that talk about grieving the loss of a pet. Of course this kitten was not really your pet. But hopefully some of the insights in these articles will be of some help in coming to terms with this:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/grievin...loss-of-a-pet/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/live-...a-pet-is-real/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-15-...et-loss/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-the...death-of-pets/

My best wishes to you...

Good you had compassion in first place . . .shelter at fault,not you.
God Bless,
BLUEDOVE

That really sounds like a crappy shelter. No reason you couldn’t of picked up the kitten. You’re guilt is totally misplaced. Shelters fault not yours.

Yes, and just know the kitten did not suffer along the way and is in complete harmony now. It's okay.

I'm not even sure this is the shelter's fault, either.

It's no one's fault. Simply a bad situation you tried to facilitate but you couldn't.

Bless your compassion, though.