[MajorGiles99]

I say this, because I broke up a few days ago and as I reread our past texts, I see where she was reaching out to me, and I failed to act soon enough. By that I mean go to counseling and explore why I turn inward, rather than express myself. She left me five days ago and the past few days have been shattering.


A brief explanation of us and our past, we share a similar past of sexual exploration by her father and me a couple of close family friends. She turned to cutting herself, I closed in on myself, shutting people out. But we had a good emotional connection, but as time progressed I turned inward several months after living together. Now yes there is more, but that's for another time.

Eventually, like 60 days, she turned that connect towards a coworker who was there for her and listened and now 6 months later she moved out. I moved her to her new place and she has totally stopped all communication except for her new debit card, she was to get high and have sex with him I guess, so I read in a text to her BFF.


I know she kissed his dude at work, let him touch her ( I am lead to believe she may have even encouraged him to touch her at work) and now I feel I am the one who failed here.....

I tried to timeline all the text we had and other indicators, but IDK why I am doing this, as I can not trust her any more. I feel so utterly alone and shattered over this.

[TheLifeFantastic]

Hi MajorGiles,

I can not say how you feel right now, but about 4 years ago I went through a similar experience. I lost my fiance and it did not go down well at all. I went into a deep depression shutting myself down before she broke things off with me. I couldn't emotional support her anymore, and she found support through other people. Sadly it was through other men. I felt like she was punishing me for something. I even got back together with her for like a few months, but after a while she went and did the same thing.

My mind would spin round and round about what she was doing with other men, and why I was not the one anymore. My thoughts would be obsess over everything and anything in what had happened after we finally separated. I became a shut in for months. I would take sedatives, and just go to sleep. It lead me to a very dark place in my life that only now that I have been able to really talk about.

I had to get help to get through it. I had to find a support group, and someone who could guide me through my feelings. I was a wreck, but in reality what was happening to me was that I was in grieving. Then I went into mourning that I couldn't shake off.

Soon after I broke up with my fiance I knew that the best thing for me to do was to destroy everything that I could think that somehow made me think of her. I removed her from my phone, facebook, and so forth. I didn't want her ghost haunting me.

I know I wrote a great amount, and that I can't give you a direct fix for the situation you are in. But if you ever need to talk you can alway message me. I also want to say that I'm glad that you came to the forums, and that it takes great courage to talk about this.

[MajorGiles99]

I just awoke due to my irregular sleeping patterns and it is with a great sense of deep sadness I feel, I wrote a list of things that I did not like about our relationship, as well as what I did like, the first is larger and I still feel like an absolute fool. I don;t understand how someone who professes to love and now it's total silence. I want to see or text her, but I won't, I know it is a temporary feeling I now have but the loss I feel is somewhat over whelming.


Thanks for reaching out, it does help.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry for what happened. It will take time to heal.