I can't let go of the past

I'm so angry and I can not let go of things that happened in the past which means I'm just gonna be miserable for the of my life. I can't accept what happened. I don't even really wanna let go and I hate myself for it. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I was just never born. I'm just a loser.

((((ExplodingSun56)))) You're not a loser. Lots of people have problems dealing with their past. Do you see a therapist? What part of your past are you struggling with?

You’re in a lot of pain. Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe it will help you to vent about your feelings, then they will naturally release and you can move on. Maybe you can write a letter to whomever hurt you. You don’t have to send it.

Try this book:"Self-Compassion",by Kristin Neff,she has
website too.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

Your not a loser, sounds like you're in a lot of pain, I hope you can get the help you need

I've been seeing my therapist for a while now. I'm going back in a couple of days. I don't know if it's helping me that much. I'm struggling with people. Something happens that ends up hurting you and then it happens again and every time something bad happens it keeps building up inside until it becomes too much and then it becomes unbearable. I'm struggling with multiple things that have happened in the past that have built up over time. I'm angry with people and they way they treat me sometimes.

Not letting go of past pain can be a way our sub mind tries to protect us from future harm. When we are little and we get curious and stick our fingers in a flame, it hurts. It hurts a lot. That memory of reaching out and getting burned stays with us so the next time we see a fire, we know not to reach out. Don’t touch that...it hurts. Lesson learned. This is a good thing. We learn via experience. However, it sometimes loses the ability to separate true danger from past pain.

When we are hurt by those who are supposed to love us, it can create a core memory experience and keep it on replay until it thinks we are ready to safely move ahead. Problem with that is...the sub mind never thinks it’s safe if there was too much pain to deal with. It locks down and keeps us in a loop. Don’t trust. Don’t try. Don’t go forward. Don’t...don’t...don’t...en infinitum. We are frozen in an endless circle of pain and mistrust.

It’s easy to say, “get over it”. Other people do it, right? Probably not as well as you think they do. The difference is...we who are challenged with trekking thru this life with minds that work in different ways, are burdened by aspects of our psyche “normal” people brush off. It’s not that they are any better at letting go. It’s that they don’t feel and react to stimulus the way we do.

I told someone this earlier. Let go of what no longer serves you.

It’s not about our inability to cope. It’s about our reasons. However, regardless of who we are, there is universal truth. Always.

Are those memories at all helpful to you?

Do they bring you peace and tranquillity?

Do they make your life better or easier in any way?

No? OK. Now, we have a starting point. If you can shift enough to admit mindfully that these thoughts are NOT helping you in any way. It establishes a Truth for you. Keep remembering that Truth each time those feelings surface. The goal here is to retrain your submind to see these thoughts as no longer valuable so when you are ready...you can thank them for protecting you when you needed it but, now, you no longer feel they serve you and you can let them become husks, echoes of a past and a path you no longer want to be on. You can then move on...with baby steps if you need them or jump off a cliff like I did...only because I had it firmly in my mind that it was my cliff. I built that b***h and I knew where I wanted to land.

I hope that helps.

((((ExplodingSun53))))

I turned your comments into affirmations. Scoff at me for a moment and then consider saying these to yourself every morning (every morning and every evening and throughout the day when you have the spare moment.) For how long? Until you internalize them. I did this and yes it took a while, although I started feeling a little better after just a week, but now I feel fine--much better than I did.

I'm feeling ok

I can let go of the past.

I'm going to be ok.

I can let things go.

I want to let go.

I love myself for letting the past go.

I'm glad I was born.

I'm a winner.

I'm so sorry. I have complex PTSD and one of my symptoms is ruminating on the past. It's hard to avoid it.

What helps me is reminding myself that I still have my future, and I do not have to suffer forever. Whenever I find myself ruminating on the past, I ask myself: "is it over?" " Can I let it go now? " "Will it help me or hurt me to think about it?"

if this is about someone hurting you, I see it this way: whoever hurt us has hurt themself because they damaged their soul and person. They're the type of person who would harm people, and we're not. I see that as winning.