The difference between highly sensitive and hypersensitive

The Difference Between Highly Sensitive and Hypersensitive | Psychology Today

I took the quiz recommended by the author and scored as likely to be a highly sensitive person. Though I'm not sure I care to think of myself that way but I'll give it more reflection. I have a sister who uses being "sensitive" as her excuse for reactive and deeply unkind behaviors. She's an extremely difficult person to be around primarily because she does not take responsibility for her own feelings or even her actions.

Anyway, the author's parsing out of highly sensitive from hypersensitive was really useful to me. Feel free to share your thoughts on the article.

How is she reacting in a deeply unkind way? What does she do or say? Asking for a friend, lol. I have been reactive to being treated very unlovingly by those who claim to love me. That’s my issue

Good article, thanks.

She screams, shouts, calls names ("evil", "cold b****", "unfeeling"), triangulates, manipulates....never accepts responsibility, never says sorry. She holds grudges for trivial issues (really trivial) for years and years. At this point I think she may be living with an undiagnosed personality disorder.

Yikes! That must be a very difficult relationship to have!

I think I am hypersensitive over certain ways I am made to feel unloved. Now I realize love is a kind of gray emotion. So people who are pretty hurtful generally do love you, even though they can be pretty cruel. (I really have a hard time believing this but this appears to be the case).

But my reaction is to get upset. My mood drops. I lose my appetite. I can’t fight back tears. I don’t attack anyone calling them evil. They aren’t evil. Had you done something evil? I hope for love, reassurance, empathy. But I never get that from them. Instead they get defensive and dislike me more for my being a moody crybaby. This pushes me down farther to hate myself in the moment.

This sounds like Borderline, I know.

Does the borderline turn it inward while the narcissist turn it outward? This is my personal theory.

She is no longer in my life. I live far away and we don't talk to each other unless there is a reason I go back. Generally I avoid that for my own well-being. I just included as an example of how sensitivity of any sort is fine in my opinion. But behaving that way is not okay.

I'll assume asking if I did something evil was just a bad joke. No I am not evil and do not do evil things. I am a decent human being who happened to grow up in a highly dysfunctional family. I did therapy to move forward in life. My siblings did not and apparently think such behavior is okay. Except one sibling, she is fair-minded and kind and we maintain some level of distant but respectful relationship.

Yes, I assumed you had not actually done something evil. She just threw ‘evil’ out there just to be dramatic then.