Uncomfortable in my own skin.. shutting down

Lately I want to crawl out of my skin. I don’t feel comfortable with myself. Something is wrong and I don’t know what. When I’m around friends I feel awkward and out of it. I’m not being my usual happy go lucky and friendly self. I’m being more withdrawn. I don’t know what’s going on emotionally but I’m not happy about how I feel. I wish I was more connected to my emotions. I think I’ve shut myself down. I feel things and I know something’s wrong, but I cannot connect my thoughts to my emotions. I just feel... and I feel crummy. I’m not happy.

Things have been REALLY, REALLY hard for you lately, golden_eve Could it be possible that you're likely just under a lot of stress? I'm not sure. Perhaps there are other underlying reasons for it. I hope you're talking about it with your Therapist as it seems like something REALLY important to talk about. Please keep posting here if it help you to figure it out. I hope other wise posters will be able to offer you better insight as I'm not really good at it Write your feelings in a journal every day. I believe you're already doing that. That's good! Keep writing. I'm sure it will help you. Sending many safe, warm hugs and many happy and positive vibratons to you, golden_eve, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you!

I can relate. It could be a combination of things. Lately I’ve been only doing ok if I am 24/7 busy and doing something. If I stop running, I don’t feel completely right. Not really depressed but not really happy either. And very tired all the time.

For me I know it’s due to this year being very difficult: stress caused by death of my mother and subsequently my dad driving me crazy and then my friend and co worker got very ill and I had to take on her job tasks.. Stuff like that. You had a lot of stressful situations lately with work. Marriage. Friends. You had stuff on your plate. Stress is overwhelming.

Being outside or working out helps somewhat. Or what other stuff you do like your hobbies.

Do talk to your therapist. And actually have you seen your GP for a physical lately? We are at age when we got to do physical check up annually. Sometimes yucky feelings could be caused by something not right in our bodies. Like deficiency of some vitamin

yes, there could be a flu or some illness coming on, a cold or something else too,i would see your primary doc

It’s not physical.. it’s emotional. Mickey’s right. And Divine.. I’ve had a LOT of stress lately and I think it’s taking a toll. I wish I could connect to my actual feelings. I feel horrible.

I didn’t mean physical like flu but sometimes certain physical imbalance or deficiency could be combined with emotional and cause problems or one feel like another. Like mitral valve prolapse feels like mild anxiety attack sometimes , but it’s not, but if let’s say you are anxious AND have a prolapse then it’s really a combination when you don’t know what’s what.

But I understand it’s not physical for you. Emotional could be confusing too. I once described some feelings I had in the past to my therapist and she said it could be that I was depressed. I didn’t feel depressed and I don’t ever feel depressed, I never really feel down. But my t said sometimes depression manifests itself in weird ways. You don’t have to feel down to have some moments of depression hmm

Then once I had extreme stress and for 3 months I felt how people describe manic. It was only once in my life and I do not bipolar disorder. My t again said that extreme stress could cause feelings similar to mania. Boy it’s confusing.

Bottom line you are overwhelmed. Stressed. Feelings are all over the place. Take care of yourself. Be gentle and give yourself time to rests and relax. Do something for yourself.

Hope you feel better soon

Thanks Divine.. it must be all the stress and some depression... it’s been one thing after another lately. I will go to bed early.

Stress always has a psychological and physical affect on me. Do you think it would help to see your doctor and make sure nothing else is going on? I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks @Sisabel. I don't even really have time to see my doctor. I am too bogged down with work.... and they won't recognize that.

I do a similar thing when my depression hits, or when my stress is high. I think it's a reaction to emotional distress, and my mind is trying to "get away" from my body.

What I usually do is be very, very gentle with myself. I ease up on work, I watch a comedy show, I listen to music or read a book.

Emotional detachment is something I do as well. It's a coping mechanism. What can reattach me to my emotions is letting the stress pass, or letting the depression run its course. It takes time, and I've learned to not rush things. It's ok if you feel crummy, and it's ok if it takes time for you to feel happier.

golden_eve, from your post what I got from it is there are a few things that you are actually connected with. That is that you feel crummy and withdrawn and not your usual self. Now I know that may not be much to go on but it could be a very good reason for you to jot down reasons why you may think you are feeling this way. These reasons you jot down might be right or wrong. That really doesn't matter. It just gets the ball rolling I guess in you trying to get in touch with what sort of emotions are making you feel this way. I know this sounds goofy and it is coming for a 16 year old kid, but you might want to give it a go.

Thank you.. this makes a lot of sense to me and feels like what is happening.

No, that’s very smart advice and wise words. Thank you. I may give myself some time before trying to figure it out. I’m too exhausted and all I want to do is sleep.

Allow yourself to rest. Going to the mountains and being in touch with the nature may be very healing for you.

Why mountains?

I would LOVE to be in nature right now. I miss it!!

In the summer we go in the nature every time we can. Even if just county or local park, nothing extravagant. It also tires one up so no energy to stress about anything. That’s a good way to distress, soon enough winter will hit again

Yes.... I'm glad that nature was brought up! Nature has been one of my greatest refuges of all time... I need a refuge right now and I need solace.

Just an example