Have Hope

I’m cracking. I’m severely depressed. COVID has gotten to me along with my unemployment and marital issues.

I really don’t have the strength anymore. I want to go to sleep and wake up in a different life.

I need far more strength to get through this. And I’m afraid it’s gone

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

sarahsweets

Hey @Have Hope hang on.. you are not alone in this.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.

divine1966

Tough times isn’t it. There is a thread in some sub forum on PC where people share positives of the pandemics, You got to be kidding me. Positives? And I am in general a positive person but there is nothing positive in Covid!!!!

Things get better. They always get better. Don’t give up. Hugs

Have Hope

Thanks @sarahsweets.

I know I'm not alone, though it feels that way due to the isolation. I know MANY are struggling. It's all over the news, and I see it on Facebook with some friends. It's SO hard right now.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Have Hope

Thanks @divine1966.

It IS tough times, all around. I am generally positive too, but lately I haven't been feeling that way and it's making it harder for myself. I can't seem to snap out of it. Receiving job rejections doesn't help, nor does not hearing back from an employer after I've applied.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

bpforever1

Have Hope, time heals. I have been in your situation where I was going through a divorce and lost my job at the same time. I weathered the storm by depending on my family and learning a new language to keep myself busy. It has been about ten years since these tumultuous times, I can vouch that life improves if you find ways to heal yourself and stay away from trouble. As you know, I have poor judgment at times with men and other issues. This poor judgment has gotten me in trouble. However, I have learned from my mistakes and am happier now. I am focusing on my life now and surviving. I am living a life now which is better than I expected because I found a job that has helped me to become independent. So, please persevere! I believe, you will live in the light again one day and look back at your past as just a period through which you overcame and survived! I say give yourself a few years to recover fully. Hopefully, you will bounce back soon but don't rush your recovery if you need the time to heal

Have Hope

@bpforever1, thanks so much. I need to hear encouragement right now, and your words are encouraging.

I think for me, my world has just all caved in at once and I am overwhelmed by how much I am dealing with simultaneously.

I am leaning on friends and family when I can, but I am trying to also not overwhelm them with my problems. There's only so much others can do.

I do lean on one girlfriend the most, and at least once per week we talk at length on the phone. That helps. Therapy helps. And keeping myself as busy as possible helps.

Dealing with COVID, along with unemployment, a grueling job search, strained finances, and periodically arising marital issues is proving to be very draining for me, and I am depressed. I fight through that depression each and every day.

It's just tough right now all around - COVID has presented all sorts of problems for people across the globe, and many are seriously suffering. The political atmosphere is not helping either. I am really on edge regarding the upcoming US election.... not to get into politics on here, but it's most upsetting for me too.

It's just not a good situation right now, and fighting through depression is very exhausting. It's hard to keep up the fight every single day. It's hard to remain positive every single day. Some days are better than others. Some days I feel relatively Ok and I can battle through, and other days, I crumble and want to crawl into my bed for the day.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes

Bill3

Hang in there, Have Hope!

RockyRoad007

HaveHope, have you ever heard the term "Dark night of the Soul"?
Personally, I see it as part of our old way of being as dying off or purging out. This allows for a glorious transformation to occur if you allow it.
While horrible to go thru, in hindsight, you will see it was worth it.

My own journey has been one of deep transformation. I've been brought to my knees many times, but all that pain has brought me to a place of grace, deep empathy, and a spiritual journey I absolutely love.

All this while dealing with being bipolar since my teens (not fun) and mostly unmedicated (again not fun). It has been an incredibly difficult painfilled life, in so many ways felt like a lifelong Dark night of the Soul. I can still cry when I think back on some of my most painful times, but they are tears of empathy for what I went thru, not tears of sorrow.

But I reap the rewards today.
Dark nights of the Soul are always worth it (in the end).

Have Hope

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience and journey! I can relate to your experience, the pain and the empathy. I can also relate to the spiritual transformation you speak of. Sounds almost like transcendence.

Thank you. This helps me more than you know.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes