I can’t cope anymore

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SO frustrated. I get job leads, then I read numerous HORRIFIC reviews of the company, and I decline the interview because the work environment is far too toxic. When there are repetitive reviews ALL stating how toxic and horrible the company is, I pay attention.

I cannot be in yet another toxic work environment -- I WILL NOT SURVIVE IT. I am very fragile as it is.... one more bad work experience may just send me to the hospital suicidal again. I cannot have a repeat of that experience.

What's astounding is how many work cultures out there are really toxic. ASTOUNDING.

And yes, I'm paying close attn. to these reviews and I pay heed to them. They speak loud and clear to me.

But it's SOOOOOOOOOO maddening and frustrating to have to weed through all the bad companies in order to find a good place for myself to land. I don't have THAT Much time left, unless they extend my unemployment benefits.

I am going to scream. This job search is making me crazy, along with my marriage and feeling stuck in an abusive relationship that I cannot escape yet.

I'm at the end of my rope. I wish I could speak with my therapist today. Tomorrow is too long to wait.

That's all I can say.

Sorry! It's a mad world out there. Don't give up!

Thank you for the positivity!!!!!!

Monday. Two job rejections in the last two business days. Then today two recruiters contact me for low paying irrelevant jobs.

I am SO sick of this. Welcome to a super crappy Monday.

Hang in there!

Thanks, @Bill3!

I'm taking my anti-anxiety meds nearly every day now.

The only times I can get a respite is when my husband leaves the house and leaves me on my own while he's at work. Today is one of those days. I just had to endure three days in a row with him, which made me crazy.

My heart is beating really fast, and my breathing is off. I am trying to listen to meditative music right now to calm down.

I just turned down an interview because once again, the employee reviews were horrific -- overworked, burnout, lack of internal organization, "homework assignments" on top of large workloads, a CEO who doesn't care about employees. How long can this go on? I feel like the only companies looking for employees right now are the terrible and toxic companies. It's time to change my approach.

I'm in such a terrible position right now. This is most painful to endure.

I don't get it. WHY do I have to keep going through the most strenuous circumstances in life??????? If it's not one crisis, it's another, then another, then another. Can I please just get a break in life? WHY????????????? What did I do to deserve such constant strife, challenge and difficulty???????

I just got really frustrated with someone who contacted me about an irrelevant job. They asked for my resume, so I sent it to them, asking in return for a job description. A full day goes by, and I don't receive a reply. So I looked up the job on their company website on my own, and it's pretty far off from my actual skill set. So I finally wrote back saying as much, and then told them their lack of response is uninspiring and that I will pass.

That just goes to show my level of tolerance these days.

I turned down an interview because of poor reviews on Glassdoor, I told the recruiter as much, and she replied trying to refute the statements made in these bad reviews. ARGH. I still turned it down.

I know I am not in a position to be SO picky, but I really DO want a healthy work environment... not only want but need. It's necessary for me.

Can you start at any job and then look for better as you start working? Perfect work place might not even materialize. At some point we just have to grab what there or work two jobs etc I know ideally we all want to love our work places but reality sometimes we just got to settle because bills are coming! What does your therapist say?

My new therapist may not even be that good. He claims my husband is cheating. Though he has NO evidence of it, he's met with me TWICE, and he knows very little about my husband at this point.

I could start contracting - I just reached out to a recruiter now about contract roles.

I also just reached out in desperation to one of my best and oldest male friends who is well connected with people where we live. He may be able to find me a place to live, like immediately and starting in Jan. We just spoke on the phone.

I am now desperate to solve the problem.

My apologies if it’s not the case but I hope this male friend isn’t suggesting you moving in with him.

Contracting is a good idea

These therapists sometimes assume things without even knowing details.

Oh no... he's not suggesting that. He's going to look for a living situation on my behalf.

Yes - contracting could also work for now.

I am angry that my new therapist even assumed this. He doesn't know enough to even assume.

I’m brand new. Yours is the first thread I clicked on because you took the words right out of my mouth. But you can do this, and so can I. We just all have to help each other through this hell hole we are currently living in. Hugs to you.

Thanks, and welcome to the forums!

I'm entirely broken since learning on Monday of my husband's emotional affair. I am wrecked and am barely holding it together. All I've felt since Monday is sheer rage coursing through my veins. And I unleashed a flood of rage on him for days on end. I am running out of steam, but it does seem to keep coming out. We had a confrontational exchange this morning over the whole thing (on Thanksgiving day). We're spending the day apart, and we are officially separated. I am divorcing him now and the ball is finally rolling in that direction. But learning of his infidelity, after PROMISING me for over one year about 100 different times that he WOULD NEVER EVER do anything remotely close to cheating, well, I feel very duped, very conned, He is a con artist.

I suppose on the plus side, my gut always told me he COULD cheat on me because I caught him being dishonest with me on several occasions. So in my gut I felt it was always a possibility.

I am completely devastated and feel traumatized.

I feel for you. This stuff rocks our core. It knocks down your self-esteem to rubble. Just remember, it is not your doing. He always had a choice. Don't give up on your self! You are very bright and eloquent in your posts. You have very good insights and have helped alot of people here. Happy Thanksgiving.

Aw, thanks for the nice compliments and for your sympathy.

Last night I started to wonder if his cheating was MY fault somehow - was I not interesting or exciting enough? Lately, I was going to bed very early, and not too long after he would come home from work and after dinner.

I also know that I really cannot and should not blame myself. It's HIS doing. HE chose this. He knew 100% that it was the ONE thing that I would unequivocally divorce over.

He had his chance. I gave him a second chance in July when I was going to divorce him then.

This is the icing on the cake on top of the abuse. I am beside myself.

Thanksgiving at least was a break from him physically speaking. I was alone at my parents' house, hiding out for the entire day.

Oh no! I hate that feeling. You seem very interesting, in the sense you are very in touch with your feelings and beliefs. You strive to be a better person and help others.

Yes, I think everyone is tempted from time to time. Look at celebrities. They are surrounded by people who are interesting and handsome/beautiful. Some cheat. Some remain faithful.

It's terrible, like a major car accident, but with your heart. Sorry!

My wife was mad at me on Thanksgiving so we didn't really talk. I had my mom and Dad, though. Haha!

Have a good black friday/ regular friday, whatever with this lockdown. Have a good day!

Thanks, @guy1111. I try to be in tune with myself and my emotions. I try to be a better person and learn from my mistakes. And I do try to help, though i know sometimes I am blunt and maybe miss what the person truly needs in that very moment in time. I do try my best though. That's all we can ask of ourselves in life, really.

And yeah, this is like a car accident. Thankfully today I feel slightly better. I know this is the right decision: divorcing him.

I am sorry that your wife was mad at you yesterday and that you weren't talking. Glad to hear though that you have your mom and dad!

When I am truly in love and devoted to someone, I am never tempted to even remotely cheat OR flirt. I am very very very faithful in my serious relationships. And that's what I expect in return from a DECENT and HONORABLE man.

My emotions and control over my emotions has gone haywire. I don't know how to control my anger and rage at him. I was good for 24 hours and didn't talk to him at all. Then I let loose on him again, after hearing his weak excuses for cheating on me. I have trouble with emotional regulation when I am upset and traumatized.