How are you coping today? #6

You are very kind Dawn and I am glad you’re here - I hope you’re coping well today?

I'm doing pretty good today. I got out to a little leauge game and I normally dislike the outdoors kids and baseballs. But the fresh air did me good. I slept well last night and my food and med management has been under control. I have not taken my night meds or my melatonin yet and I'm not hungry or anxious so I've just been holding off on everything so I can have a repeat of last night and then a repeat of today and get things under control.

I tried listening to music most of the day and that did help a bit. I'm watching a couple of my favorite TV shows in the evening and that helps. Mostly just trying to stay inside away from the hot.

Life has to be better than this, doesn't it?

I coped today by telling my Mom, "No", when she asked if I wanted to cut my hair. This is going to help me in the long run because I am going to rely on my natural beauty and when someone finds their way to me, I will have a solid 'naked' fronteir. It might be the main way I know they like me.

I'm not coping well today. I had a bit of a meltdown last night about my dog. He helped a lot to keep me going and helped me deal with the painfulness of life. Now that he's gone, it's just overwhelming how hard life is and how hard it is to keep fighting. Sorry to continue to be a downer about my dog and my life. I know how much I suck, so I'm sorry to cause you any problems. Sorry.

Please don’t worry about talking about what’s on your mind, this is the right place to do it. Your dog sounds like a special pal, if you want to write about him then please do. Hugs.

I actually legit ate today for the first time in a few days which made my moods and anxiety ok. Eating didn't set off anything physical. But now I'm starting to feel some things physically. I took half a zofran and a hot shower and then I took the other half of the zofran and I'm hoping things don't escalate. I'm trying one of my other brands of melatonin to see if that helps at all with my sleep since these nights have not been good. But I'm not sure its the melatonin thats the issue.

Something in my stomach has got to be removed and I don't give a **** what it is. But I am in so much stomach pain right now and its causing me a ton of distress and anxiety. I took tylenol and half a zofran and I turned up the air. I'll take the other half of the zofran but I am getting very very angry because of the amount of pain and distress I'm in.

Update: the pain and nausea meds worked and I went to my room and got into bed so I feel much better now. But seriously my stomach is effed up somehow.

Not coping well. I don't know how to fix all of my problems. I need some relief soon.

I am feeling frustrated with my sister doing my therapist session today. My sister made it more about her then me

Yesterday was a disaster, but today has been a little better. Listened to a little bit of music and took a nap with my dog.

Having a hard time but hanging in there.

((( Breaking Dawn )))

Waking up earlier than normal.

I think I'm coping better than yesterday.

Glad to hear and hope that tomorrow will be a better day too.

Thank you. And I wish the same for you.

@ Breaking Dawn
Yes it makes my day brighter when I hear about someone that is feeling a bit better. @CANDC

Lowering the amount of stress I feel by rearranging my room and just taking it easy.

Not coping well. Having an anxiety attack. I took 3 walks to try and get rid of it.

Today hasn't been going well and I havent been handling things well either. I woke up to find a $250 bill from my biopsy in my inbox. I mean yeah I know it could have been worse but I'm already on 2 payment plans for medical bills plus paying for therapy every week and I just had another procedure yesterday. Then the lady at Sonic gave me a medium drink when I asked for a mini. She didn't charge me for a medium and I know I should be happy and she was trying to be nice but it just irks me when they do this because people order specfic sizes for specfic reasons. Like what if I had diabetes or something. Anyways I vented my frustration to my therapist but my comment sounded like I was being fat phobic. She didn't catch on and I thought she was acting weird because of the comment so I asked if she was upset at what I said. And she had no clue what I was talking about. So I BS'd around the issue before repeating the comment I had made earlier. Our internet connection was bad the entire session. She said something about me being a green or a red light. Not sure which one and I don't know What either means. and that I need to be careful with what I say and that maybe I don't want to get better. Our internet connection was so ****ed up though I didn't get more then half of what she said at the end so I emailed her and asked if she'd explain what she meant. It was just a mess all around today. The entire day.

My favorite band released new music today. I listened to it and it was great. But this afternoon has gone to s**t. Not sure if I ate too much lunch or what, but Friday afternoons and evenings are generally pretty good, but today went south on me. Hopefully with a cooler weekend I can get back to something less bad. Anyway, music and getting lunch out is how I'm coping. I wish it were working better.

I posted a couple angry reposts and memes on Facebook this morning. But people just agreed with them I didnt have to argue with anyone. My visible anger and moods were in check. I had a panic attack I couldnt tell if it was lack of food or side effects from my new med or just related to everything else going on. But right at this moment I feel ok. My med management has been a bit off because of the issue last night although I still think I could have thought things out better. But now I'm not sure. I think my blood level is high again but my lab test isn't until the 8th. After my big family BBQ. So idk. I went back to sonic though this morning and this time the same lady gave me the correct size drinks and she was crabby. Maybe she was mad I wasn't appreciative of her yesterday. Thats not my problem though.

I think I’m coping as well as can be expected under the circumstances. Not perfectly, but perfection is overrated.

I'm trying to make myself feel better. Like just force myself to get out of my head and out of this slump I'm in. My mom thinks its something medical. My pdoc apparently thinks I have some form of leukemia. I think I'm just ****ed up in my head for no reason. I am gonna leave a message for my blood doctor though asking if I can do my blood test a week early. Today I tried at least. I did my laundry and actually watched some TV instead of just BSing on my phone. My eating wasn't great but I ate fruit....