How are you coping today? #7

Not a bad idea to do.

I'm chatting with an AI bot about my problems (ChatGPT). It's helpful.

I'm doing okay--finally getting some house cleaning done and reading some enjoyable books--and at night I watch TV! Often murder mysteries.

And yes, I'm posting here.

today I decided to write a letter expressing :sadhug how hurt I felt of what one of my sister and her kids treated :grouphug me over the years. Writing the letters began to help me :hug feel better.

I feel so dissociated these days probably from too much stress and pain. There's this strong need to post to someone because I feel like screaming for help but yet to hate drawing attention so I quietly post. It's hard to know how I feel exactly. It's kinda like everything's swirling probably from dissociation. Too many problems. Severe money problems. No friends anywhere. No family. Bad toothache almost every night for long time. I go to the store and spend ages just looking looking looking at prices trying to find something good that doesn't cost much. I watch people swing through isles grabbing stuff left and right and I wonder how it must feel to have money. It's usually a bag of $1.25 dried split peas or something that cooks up to lasts 4 to 6 meals. Guess I'll sell my car soon.

That is awesome.

I think you mean it takes time to get over a bad mood, right? I know it does.

True. It’s take times

I'm not coping well today, or yesterday for that matter...

it's going to be a long day.

up all night

@stahrgeyzer did you consider applying for the community fund here?

Community Fund Drive - General Information

@Discombobulated thanks. I didn't know about that. I can rarely get myself to accept money. It's an overwhelming feeling I don't deserve it and will be punished. One of my psychiatrists tried his best to get me to get disability. I left him because of that.

I'm not coping very well today. I am crying and doing chores. The chores give me a sense of accomplishment.

I’m getting things done that will hopefully make next week more tolerable with my schedule that is bananas.

I’m :sorry.

I’m trying to figure out how to be happy

Today has felt a bit overwhelming a few times. A few different things. I haven’t felt like I’ve been on top form. I’m telling myself that’s okay, some days are just like that. I’m going to have a bath and read soon to settle myself down.

I’m playing my games compulsively.

I vented out to an online friend

Better than I have been, but kind of sleepy today.

I’m reminding myself to breathe, because I tend to hold my breath even more than usual when I’m stressed. I’m also staying as mindful & present as possible to avoid preventable mistakes that will compound my anxiety. Then too I’m packing a large bag of trail mix to take to work because I’m afraid my lunch will be jacked today. I’m being vigilant about energy vampires as an opportunity to practice emotional aikido, basically putting my own oxygen mask on first. I can’t give what I don’t have.

I’m drinking a beer, because **** it.

I'm lonely and bored. I'm watching the news, trying to talk to friends and playing my game. I might read some. I'm so sad.