[bigal838]

Does anyone have any advice to give about how to deal with envy?

When my gf and I met, she got three new gf's (all of which absolutely adore her) that were my friends that she probably never would have met if her and I hadn't connected.

I didn't get three new guy friends, let alone three new guy friends that think that I'm absolutely awesome.

I'm struggling with envy because I wish that I HAD gotten three new guy friends as a result of meeting her.

I've already realized that if her and I break up at some point, I will most likely lose those three friends of mine that I already knew before her and I met because I don't think that I could be just friends with her after we break up.

The worst part is the fact that those three women that now are very good friends of hers and absolutely adore and worship her, are more or less the only close friends that I have.
And I would lose them.

How do I deal with feelings of envy so that they no longer eat at me?
Her and I are still together and I'm ALREADY struggling with envy.

I'm happy for her that these friends of mine love and adore her so much, but it really doesn't help me feel any better.

Btw, she doesn't know that I feel this way.
I think that telling her that would be the worst thing that I could do.

[Yaowen]

I am so sorry you are in the situation you describe and wish I knew what to say to help you.

What I am reading in your post is that you are feeling both envy and fears about the future. Maybe I have misread you though. If I have not misread you, I think that your feelings quite understandable. I would have the same feelings if I was in your shoes.

Envy is tough and sometimes one needs to have a psychotherapist in one's corner for help if envy is eating one alive and destroying one's peace of mind and joy of living.

There are articles on dealing with envy on the internet. Some are written by psychologists and are helpful.

So sorry again that you are in that situation. Sorry too that I don't know what to say to help. My heart goes out to you!!!

[Discombobulated]

Yes envy is tough.

If I’m reading this correctly you were the one who introduced 3 female friends to your girlfriend? I think it’s rather wonderful that you were part of that - you’ve played a part in a great thing for these people.

But I’m also reading you feel insecure about the future, what might happen if you split up for instance. I’m a ‘what if’ thinker sometimes and it can be exhausting- and often the thing I’ve worried about doesn’t happen anyway.

What if you don’t split up, it’s possible you could have a good future together and these friendships may continue too (although not all friendships endure so it’s also possible that they might not be part of the future). It’s impossible to say what the future holds.

Your gf and your friends chose you to be in their lives, perhaps reminding yourself of that may give some perspective when you feel insecure?

[Symptomofadeadbeat]

It's not envy. You are feeling left out.

maybe you are being purposefully placed in these circumstances to make you feel as if you are envious.

I have felt envy, I felt that a partner (no longer with) was far better than me in the relationship. Instead of being the partnership we once were, I started checking Facebook to check what women were interested in him. I made myself jealous. I did uncover that I pushed him into the arms of another woman due to my envy.

Nowadays. I no longer feels envy, I feel pushed, brushed aside which has caused a new negative emotion that is worse than envy. It's resentment of those I truly love as they shove their perfect lives in my face, knowing that I am loving a life of loneliness.

There are far worse feelings than envy let me tell you.