[ChaoticSpiral]

Hello,

My emotions today is good.

Yesterday I was neutral, but I did put a foot down to my husband.

Monday, I was not good.

I want to spend time outside of the house since I work hybrid. On the days I work from home, I want to get out. My husband says I'm cagey, that he doesn't like it when I'm so desperate to leave the house at any moment. I told him, this isn't about him. This isn't about depression. This is about me fulfilling my needs. I need to get out of the house. I need time away doing something. I find myself bored at home.

When I'm at home, I don't have that transition period between work and home. I feel off. I feel like I need to go out.

When he tells me it can wait until the weekend, I'm just like when? Our time is booked. I'm free now. Let's get it done now.

I don't know how to relax at home. Every moment, I'm thinking oh I could go to the library and study there. Or I can go walk around Walmart and window shop. When he's home, I ask him to go walk with me.

Tv doesn't sound interesting. I don't have any shows that I'm following. We have shows together, but not seperate. I can crochet, but I lose interest quickly.

I like the season right now. I want to lose weight. I want to stay out of the house. I don't want to rush.

Even tho I give my husband these reasons, he thinks it's deeper. He feels a cloud following us. And me not staying put isn't helping his feelings of anxiety.

I don't know how to deal with my emotions. When I'm at work, I get stressed. When I'm at home, I get bored and can't relax. When I'm out, I feel more at peace.

I cant change my feelings based on his wants, but I know this job change gave us more things to worry about.

When I'm not dealing with relationship stress, I'm dealing with my job that doesn't know what to do with me. I go from not having anything to do with too much to do and no help given. I feel like I haven't had a good week without any hiccups. Each week I find myself fighting against something.

How can I get back to a happy medium? How do I survive? I don't want to pull away from my husband, but each time I leave the house, I find that I'm filled with guilt or we argue about me not wanting to be home. It's not him. But when he comes, then I'm rushed. When he comes, we continue the argument.

I put my foot down to him yesterday, telling him I'm going with or without him. I'm not going to argue anymore. Sounds good on paper. But I don't know about execution.

[Rive.]

Erm, yes, it is him. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be out of the house. Your husband is projecting his issues onto you, and making you feel like the 'bag guy'.

His irrational need of wanting you to stay in the house is what is not 'normal'.

You are not doing anything wrong. He is stopping you doing what you want. So, go ahead with the 'execution' otherwise he will keep holding you hostage to *his* needs or insecurities.